pzb.drawingblood-第68章

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chest。　They　had　been　talking　in　the　darkened　bedroom；　a　meandering　conversation　with　pools　of　calm　clear　silence　here　and　there。　It　was　during　one　of　these　silences　that　the　sensation　seemed　to　begin　in　Trevor's　stomach　and　spread；　shivering　through　his　guts；　swirling　slyly　through　his　blood；　up　his　spine；　into　his　brain。
　　He　felt　Zach's　lips　move　against　his　chest。　〃Do　you　feel　it？〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　〃Are　you　hallucinating？〃
　　〃I　don't　think　so。〃　Trevor　looked　at　the　shadows　cast　on　the　ceiling。　Veins　of　pink　and　purple　light　were　pulsing　through　them；　beginning　to　creep　down　the　walls。　〃Well；　maybe。〃
　　He　pulled　Zach　up　to　him；　cupped　Zach's　head　between　his　hands；　and　kissed　his　closed　eyelids。　The　smudges　of　shadow　beneath　Zach's　eyes　were　dark　with　eyeliner　and　fatigue。　Trevor　brushed　his　lips　across　them；　felt　Zach　shiver。　He　kissed　Zach's　forehead；　the　narrow　bridge　of　his　nose　and　its　elegant　pointed　tip；　his　willing　mouth。
　　Kissing　soon　became　a　hallucinatory　experience　in　itself。　The　interplay　of　their　tongues　was　like　a　dance。　Zach's　mouth　tasted　of　mint　toothpaste　and　pot　smoke　and　what　Trevor　had　e　to　think　of　as　his　lover's　own　flavor；　peppery　and　faintly　sweet。　Zach's　very　skin　seemed　to　undulate　against　him　at　every　point　of　contact。　Trevor　imagined　it　being　soft　as　warm　caramel　and　flowing　over　him；　surrounding　him。　Whether　Zach's　body　was　taking　him　in　or　being　assimilated　itself　would　not　matter。　Their　flesh　would　mingle；　their　bones　would　merge　into　one　plex　cradle　surrounding　the　stew　of　their　viscera。　What　a　drawing　it　would　make！
　　Now　Zach　was　running　his　tongue　along　the　arc　of　Trevor's　collarbone；　leaving　a　trail　of　warm　wetness　that　quickly　turned　cold　as　it　evaporated。　He　rubbed　his　face　on　Trevor's　chest；　pressed　his　lips　into　the　hollow　just　below　Trevor's　ribs。　Trevor　felt　that　bright　band　of　energy　connecting　them　again；　as　elusive　and　yet　as　constant　as　the　particles　and　waves　that　made　up　light；　sound；　matter。
　　The　room　was　swarming　around　him。　His　drawings　waved　gently　from　the　walls。　The　mattress　felt　insubstantial　under　his　back；　as　if　it　were　suspended　above　a　great　gaping　hole　that　went　through　the　floor　and　the　foundation　of　the　house；　as　if　it　could　dissolve　at　any　moment　and　leave　him　plunging　forever；　alone　in　a　numb　black　void；　a　blank　universe。　Trevor　gasped　and　clutched　Zach　tight。　It　was　beginning　in　earnest。
　　〃It's　okay；〃　Zach　soothed　him。　〃These　are　strong　'shrooms；　that's　all。　Keep　hanging　on　to　me　and　you'll　be　fine。〃
　　〃Do　you　。　。　。　can　you　。　。　。〃　Trevor　had　no　idea　what　he　wanted　to　ask。　His　teeth　began　to　chatter。
　　〃Trev；　just　relax　and　go　with　it。　Look　at　the　lights。　Everything　feels　good。　I　love　you。〃
　　〃I　love　you　too　。　。　。　but　it's　so　strange　。　。　。〃
　　〃It's　supposed　to　be　strange。　That's　why　we　do　drugs；　they　make　us　feel　different。　Don't　fight　it。〃
　　Zach　stroked　Trevor's　hair；　rubbed　his　arms　and　shoulders　until　the　muscles　began　to　unbunch。　Trevor's　hands　had　curled　into　loose　fists。　Zach　coaxed　them　open；　kissed　the　mirror…image　maps　of　the　palms；　the　pencil…calluses；　the　intricate　whorls　of　the　fingertips。　He　took　a　finger　into　his　mouth　and　sucked　softly；　heard　Trevor's　breath　catch。
　　〃Your　tongue　feels　like　velvet。〃
　　〃Your　hands　taste　like　seawater。〃
　　Zach　kissed　the　fold　of　Trevor's　left　wrist；　then　ran　his　tongue　along　the　forearm　and　into　the　soft　hollow　of　the　elbow。　Trevor　sighed　。and　relaxed　a　little；　though　his　pulse　still　beat　like　a　frightened　bird　against　Zach's　tongue。　The　veins　of　the　inner　elbow：　the　junkie　veins；　the　veins　to　sever　if　you　wanted　to　bleed　to　death。
　　Zach　slid　his　mouth　down　Trevor's　arm　and　kissed　the　raised　white　lines　of　his　scars。　He　had　hesitated　to　do　this　before；　unsure　if　Trevor　would　mind。　Now　the　scars'　rippled　texture　was　so　appealing　that　he　couldn't　help　himself。　Zach　imagined　the　razor　going　through　Trevor's　flesh　smooth　as　butter；　Trevor's　icy　eyes　screaming　out　of　his　impassive　face　as　he　watched　the　blood　well　up。
　　Trevor　made　a　soft　moaning　sound　deep　in　his　throat。　Zach　sucked　harder　at　the　tender　flesh；　and　the　scar　he　was　kissing　opened　against　his　tongue　like　a　torrid　kiss。　The　coppery　taste　of　fresh　blood　spilled　into　his　mouth。
　　Trevor　felt　a　silvery　stinging　sensation　in　his　arm；　then　another　and　another；　then　three　at　once；　a　deep　bone…shivering　pain。　He　raised　himself　on　his　right　elbow；　saw　the　old　cuts　on　his　left　arm　opening；　parting　like　little　red　mouths。　Zach　stared　up　at　him　in　confusion；　then　in　horror　as　he　realized　Trevor　was　seeing　the　blood　too。　Deep　wet　crimson　ringed　his　mouth　and　streaked　his　face；　shocking　against　the　whiteness　of　his　skin。
　　〃Trev？　What　。　。　。　？〃
　　Trevor　felt　weirdly　serene。　The　open　wounds　hurt　no　more　than　they　had　when　he'd　made　them。　It　was；　rather；　a　way　of　draining　off　pain。　He　remembered　the　feeling　so　well　now。　〃It's　nearly　here；〃　he　said。
　　〃What？〃
　　〃Birdland。〃
　　Zach's　pupils　were　enormous；　guttering。　His　mouth　hung　slightly　open。　Trevor　took　his　hands；　pulled　him　up　and　held　him；　smearing　Zach's　body　with　blood。　He　kissed　Zach's　sticky　lips。　〃Don't　be　scared。〃
　　〃But　。　。　。　aren't　you　bleeding？〃
　　〃Only　for　a　little　while。〃
　　〃Trevor！　Have　your　stigmata；　then；　goddammit；　but　don't　pull　this　mystical　shit　on　me！〃　Zach　pounded　the　mattress。　〃Don't　you　dare　die…if　you　die；　I　swear　to　God　I'll　e　after　you…I'll　hunt　you　down　and　haunt　your　damn　ghost…〃
　　〃I'm　not　dying。　e　here。　Hold　me。〃　He　wrapped　his　arms　tighter　around　Zach；　felt　the　blood　flowing　between　them；　trickling　down　Zach's　spine。　I　have　to　go；　he　thought。　You're　the　only　thing　that　will　bring　me　back。　But　that　would　just　frighten　Zach　worse；　so　he　didn't　say　it。
　　He　didn't　know　where　he　was　going；　or　even　how。　He　knew　it　would　be　Birdland；　the　true　Birdland　that　lay　paradoxically　far　beyond　the　house　and　deep　within　it。　But　Trevor　was　realizing　that　Birdland　wasn't　just　the　place　of　his　past；　the　place　in　his　childhood　where　he　had　found　his　talent；　his　dreams。　It　was　also　the　place　where　his　dreams　could　find　him；　and　some　of　them　were　very　bad。　It　was　a　place　of　scars；　and　of　wounds　that　had　never　healed。
　　〃Just　don't　leave　me　here；〃　Zach　murmured　against　his　chest。
　　〃I　promise。〃
　　Trevor　remembered　lying　in　bed　this　afternoon　imagining　Zach's　body　inextricably　linked　with　his；　remembered　his　fantasy　of　Zach's　flesh　flowing　over　him；　surrounding　him。　He　pressed　his　body　up　against　Zach's；　wrapped　his　legs　around　Zach's　skinny　hips。　〃I　want　you　to　fuck　me；〃　he　said。
　　〃Huh？　Now？〃
　　〃Yes。　Now。〃
　　Emotions　were　warring　in　Zach's　face：　confusion；　fear；　sorrow；　frustration；　arousal。　Trevor　felt　Zach's　penis　growing　cautiously　hard　against　the　back　of　his　thigh。　He　reached　down　and　cupped　Zach's　balls；　ran　his　hand　up　the　silky　shaft；　streaking　it　with　blood。　Zach　shuddered；　took　a　deep　breath。　〃Are　you　sure？〃
　　But　apparently　he　could　see　the　answer　in　Trevor's　face。　His　eyes　never　left　Trevor's　as　he　wet　his　hand　with　saliva　and　rubbed　it　up　and　down　his　penis；　then　lifted　Trevor's　knees　and　spread　his　legs　and　eased　in。　The　sensation　was　not　so　much　painful　as　pletely　alien。　Trevor　felt　his　asshole　trying　to　contract；　his　whole　body　trying　to　tense　up。　He　sought　Zach's　mouth　and　sucked　at　his　tongue。　He　would　have　this　boy　inside　him　any　and　every　way　he　could。　It　was　time。
　　Then　his　intestines　were　loosening　and　warming；　his　muscles　melting　in　concentric　rings　around　Zach；　drawing　him　in　deep。　He　linked　his　hands　at　the　small　of　Zach's　back。　Blood　ran　down　his　arms；　dripped　over　their　bodies；　began　to　soak　into　the　mattress。
　　〃Ahhh…〃　Zach's　teeth　closed　on　Trevor's　shoulder；　a　tiny　exquisite　pain。　〃You're　so　tight。　It　almost　hurts。〃
　　〃You　can　fuck　me　hard。　You　can　open　me　up。〃
　　〃Yeah？〃　Zach　scrambled　to　his　knees；　put　his　hands　on　Trevor's　thighs　and　pushed　them　up　and　back；　driving　in　still　deeper。　His　face　was　streaked　with　blood；　his　expression　poised　between　pain　and　ecstasy。　〃Like　that？　Does　that　feel　good？〃
　　〃Yes…but　harder…〃　Trevor　groped　for　Zach's　hand；　guided　it　to　his　penis。　When　Zach　closed　his　fingers　around　the　head　and　began　to　stroke；　Trevor　put　his　hand　over　Zac