anner.bloodandgold-第13章
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It was Thorne's turn to nod。
〃But what were those chains？〃 he asked； his voice tense and bitter as before； 〃and why do I want to be her hateful prisoner？ So that she can know my wrath every night as she keeps me close to her？〃
〃Chains made of her red hair？〃 Marius suggested； with a slight shrug of his shoulders； 〃bound with steel and with her blood？〃 he mused。 〃Bound with steel and with her blood and gold； perhaps。 I never saw them。 I only knew of them； and that they kept Lestat
helpless in all his anger。〃
〃I want to know what they were；〃 said Thorne。 〃I want to find her。〃
〃Forswear that purpose； Thorne；〃 said Marius。 〃I can't take you to her。 And what if she beckoned for you as she did so long ago； and then she destroyed you when she discovered your hatred？〃
〃She knew of it when I left her；〃 said Thorne。
〃And why did you go？〃 Marius asked。 〃Was it the simple jealousy of others which your thoughts reveal to me？〃
〃She took them in favor one at a time。 I couldn't endure it。 You speak of a Druid priest who became a blood drinker。 I know of such a one Mael was his name； the very name you've spoken。 She brought him into her small circle； a wele lover。 He was old in the Blood and had tales to tell； and she longed for this more than anything。 I turned away from her then。 I scarce think she saw me retreat。 I scarce think she felt my hatred。〃
Marius was listening intently。 Then he spoke。
〃Mael〃 he said； his words gentle and patient。 〃Tall and gaunt always； with a high bridged nose and deep…set blue eyes and long blond hair from his servitude in the Sacred Grove。 That's the Mael who lured your sweet Maharet from you？〃
〃Yes；〃 said Thorne。 He felt the pain in his chest slacken。 〃And she was sweet； that I can't deny； and she never spurned me。 It was I who wandered away； towards the North land。 It was I who hated him for his flattery of her and his clever stories。〃
〃Don't seek a quarrel with her；〃 Marius said。 〃Stay here with me； and by and by； she may e to know that you're here； and she may send you her wele。 Be wise then； I beg you。〃
Thorne nodded again。 It was as if the terrible battle was over。 He had confessed his wrath and it was gone； and he sat still and simple near the fire； the warrior no longer。 Such was the magic of words； he thought。
Then memory came again。 Six centuries ago。 He was in the cave； and could see the flicker of the firelight。 He was bound and couldn't move。 She lay beside him； peering down into his eyes and whispering to him。 He couldn't remember those words； because they were part of something larger and more terrible； something as strong as the threads that bound him。
He could break those threads now。 He could cut loose of the memories and lodge himself firmly in this room。 He could look at Marius。
He gave a long slow sigh。
〃But return to your tale； if you will；〃 he asked。 〃Why after the Queen
was destroyed； and after the twins were gone； why then didn't you reveal
your rage to the blood drinker Lestat； why didn't you take your
vengeance？ You'd been betrayed！ And disaster had followed upon it。〃
〃Because I wanted to love him still；〃 said Marius； as though he had
long known the answer； 〃and I wanted to be loved； and I could not
forfeit my place as the wise and patient one； as I've said。 Anger is too painful for me。 Anger is too pathetic。 I cannot bear it。 I cannot act upon it。〃
〃Wait for one moment；〃 said Thorne。 〃Say this again？〃
〃Anger is too pathetic；〃 Marius repeated。 〃It's too much at a
disadvantage always。 I can't act upon it。 I can't make it mine。〃
Thorne gestured for quiet。 He sat back considering； and it seemed a cold air settled on him in spite of the fire。
〃Anger is weak；〃 Thorne whispered。 It was a new idea to him。 In his mind anger and rage had always been akin。 And rage had seemed something akin to Wodin's fury。 One summoned rage before going into battle。 One weled rage into one's heart。 And in the ice cave； he had let an old rage awaken him。
〃Anger is as weak as fear；〃 said Marius。 〃Can either of us endure fear？〃
〃No；〃 said Thorne。 〃But you're speaking of something inside you that's heated and strong。〃
〃Yes； there is something brutal and hurt inside of me； and I wander alone； refusing the cup of anger； choosing silence rather than angry words。 And I e upon you in the North land； and you're a stranger to me； and I can bare my soul to you。〃
〃Yes； that you can do；〃 said Thorne。 〃For the hospitality you have given me； you can tell me anything。 I will never break your trust； that I promise。 No mon words or songs will ever e from me。Nothing can make such a thing happen。〃 He felt his voice grow strong as he spoke。 It was because he was honest in what he said。 〃What has bee of Lestat？ Why is he silent now？ I hear no more songs or sagas from him。〃
〃Sagas； ah yes； that's what he wrote； sagas of our kind；〃 said Marius and again he smiled； almost brightly。 〃He suffers his own terrible wounds；〃 said Marius。 〃He's been with angels； or with those beings who claim to be such and they have taken him to Hell and to Heaven。〃
〃You believe these things？〃
〃I don't know。 I can tell you only he wasn't on this Earth while these creatures claim to have had him。 And he brought back with him a bloody Veil with the Face of Christ quite beautifully blazoned upon it。〃 〃Ah； and this you saw？ 〃
〃I did；〃 said Marius； 〃as I have seen other relics。 It was to see this Veil and to go into the sun and die that our Druid priest Mael was nearly taken from us。〃
〃Why didn't Mael die；〃 asked Thorne。 He couldn't conceal his own emotion when he said this name。
〃He was too old for such a thing；〃 said Marius。 〃He was badly burnt nd brought low； as can happen with those of us who are very old； and after one day in the sun； he hadn't the courage for more suffering。 Back to his panions he went and there he remains。〃
〃And you？ Will you tell me now with your full heart； do you truly despise him for what he did to you？ Or is it your distaste for anger which makes you turn away from this thing？〃
〃I don't know。 There are times when I can't look on Mael's face。 There are times when I want to be in his pany。 There are times when I can't seek out any of them。 I've e here with Daniel alone。 Daniel always needs someone to look after him。 It suits me to be near Daniel。 Daniel doesn't have to speak。 That he is here is sufficient。〃
〃I understand you；〃 said Thorne。
〃Understand this as well；〃 said Marius。 〃I want to continue。 I am not one who wishes to go into the sun or seek some other form of obliteration。 If you have truly e out of the ice to destroy Maharet； to anger her twin…。〃
Thorne lifted his right hand； gesturing for patience and silence。
Then he spoke：
〃I have not；〃 he said。 〃Those were dreams。 They've died in this very place。 It will take longer for memory to die…。〃
〃Then remember her beauty and her power；〃 Marius said。 〃I asked her once why she had never taken a blood drinker's eyes for her own。 Why always the weak and bleeding eyes of a mortal victim？ She told me she had never e upon a blood drinker whom she would destroy or even hurt； save for the Evil Queen herself and the Queen's eyes she couldn't take。 Pure hatred prevented it。〃
Thorne thought on this for a long time without replying。
〃Always mortal eyes；〃 he whispered。
And with each pair； as they endure； she sees more than you and I can see；〃 said Marius。
〃Yes；〃 said Thorne； 〃I understand you。〃
I want the strength to grow older；〃 Marius said。 〃I want to find wonders around me as I always have。 If I don't； I'll lose the strength to continue and that is what bites into me now。 Death has put its hand on
my shoulder。 Death has e in the form of disappointment and fear of scorn〃
〃Ah； these things I understand； almost perfectly；〃 said Thorne。 〃When I went up into the snow； I wanted to flee from these things。 I wanted to die and not die； as so many mortals do。 I don't think I thought I would endure in the ice or snow。 I thought it would devour me； freeze me solid as it would a mortal man。 But no such thing ever ha
