anner.bloodandgold-第105章
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〃It is too painful to me；〃 I declared。 〃I will not go there。 You've lived here so long as my beautiful nun。 What is it you want？〃
〃I want Italy；〃 she said in a soft crestfallen voice。 And I knew only too well what she meant； but I didn't answer her。
〃If I cannot have Italy； Marius；〃 she said at last； 〃I must have somewhere。〃
She was in the front corner of the shrine when she spoke these all too significant words； and they were in a hushed voice； as if she sensed a danger。
We were always reverent in the shrine。 But we did not whisper behind the Divine Parents。 We considered it ill…mannered if not downright disrespectful。
It's a strange thing when I think of it。 But we could not presume that Akasha and Enkil did not hear us。 And therefore we often spoke in the front corner； especially the one to the left； which Bianca favored； often sitting there with her warmest cloak about her。
When she said these words to me； she looked up at the Queen as though acknowledging the interpretation。
〃Let it be her wish；〃 she said； 〃that we not pollute her shrine with our idleness。〃
I nodded。 What else could I do？ Yet so many years had passed in this fashion that I had grown accustomed to this place over any other。 And Bianca's quiet loyalty to me was something I took for granted。
I sat down beside her now。
I took her hand in mine； and noticed perhaps for the first time in some while that my skin was now darkly bronzed rather than black； and most of the wrinkles had faded。
〃Let me make a confession to you；〃 I said。 〃We cannot live in some simple house as we did in Venice。〃
She listened to me with quiet eyes。
I went on。
〃I fear those creatures； Santino and his demon spawn。 Decades have passed since the fire； but they still threaten from their hiding places。〃
〃How do you know this？〃 she said。 It seemed she had a great deal more to say to me。 But I asked for her patience。
I went to my belongings and took from them the letter from Raymond Gallant。
〃Read this；〃 I said。 〃It will tell you； among other things； that they have spread their abominable ways as far as the city of Paris。〃
For a long time I remained silent as she read； and then her immediate sobs startled me。 How many times had I seen Bianca cry？ Why was I so unprepared for it？ She whispered Amadeo's name。 She couldn't quite bring herself to speak of it。
〃What does this mean？〃 she said。 〃How do they live？ Explain these words。 What did they do to him？〃
I sat beside her； begging her to be calm； and then I told her how they lived； these Satan worshiping fiends； as monks or hermits； tasting the earth and death； and how they imagined that the Christian God had made some place for them in his Kingdom。
〃They starved our Amadeo；〃 I said； 〃they tortured him。 This is plain here。 And when he had given up all hope； believing me to be dead； and believing their piety to be just； he became one of them。〃
She looked at me solemnly； the tears standing in her eyes。
〃Oh； how often I've seen you cry；〃 I said。 〃But not of late； and not so bitterly as you cry for him。 Be assured I have not forgotten him either。〃
She shook her head as if her thoughts were not in accord with mine but she was not able to reveal them。
〃We must be clever； my precious one；〃 I said。 〃Whatever abode we choose for ourselves； we must be safe from them； always。〃
Almost dismissively she spoke now。
〃We can find a safe place；〃 she said。 〃You know we can。 We must。 We cannot remain as we are forever。 It is not our nature。 If I have learnt nothing from your stories I have learnt that much； that you have wandered the Earth in search of beauty as well as in your search for blood。〃
I did not like her seriousness。
〃We are only two；〃 she went on； 〃and should these devils e again with their fiery brands； it will be a simple thing for you to remove me to some lofty height where they can't harm me。〃
〃If I am there； my love； if I am there；〃 I said； 〃and what if I am not？ All these years； since we have left our lovely Venice behind； you have lived within these walls where they can't harm you。 Now； should we go to some other place； and lodge there； I shall have to be on guard always。 Is that natural？〃
This felt dreadful to me； this talk。 I had never known anything so difficult with her。 I didn't like the inscrutable expression on her face； nor the way her hand trembled。
〃Perhaps it is too soon；〃 she said。 〃But I must tell you a most important thing； and I cannot keep it from you。〃
I hesitated before I answered。
〃What is it； Bianca？〃 I asked。 I was fast being miserable。 Utterly miserable。
〃I think you have made a grievous error；〃 she said。
I was quietly stunned。 She said nothing more。 I waited。 Still there came this silence mingled with her sitting back against the wall； her eyes fixed upwards on the Divine Parents。
〃Will you tell me what this error is？〃 I asked。 〃By all means； you must tell me！ I love you。 I must hear this。〃
She said nothing。 She looked at the King and Queen。 She did not appear to be praying。
I picked up the parchment pages of the letter。 I moved through them and then looked at her again。
Her tears had dried； and her mouth was soft； but her eyes were filled with some strange look that I could not explain to myself。
〃Is it the Talamasca that causes you fear？〃 I asked。 〃I shall explain all this to you。 But see here that I wrote to them from a distant monastery。 I left few footprints there； my beauty。 I traveled the winds while you were sleeping here。〃
There followed nothing but her silence。 It seemed not dark or cold but merely reserved and thoughtful。 But when she moved her eyes to me； the change in her face was slow and ominous。
With quiet words I hastened to explain to her my strange meeting with Raymond Gallant on my last night of true happiness in Venice。 I explained in the simplest manner how he had sought knowledge of us； and how I had learnt from him that Pandora had been seen in northern Europe。
I talked of all the things contained in the letter。 I talked of Amadeo once more。 I spoke of my hatred of Santino； that he had robbed me of all I loved save her； and how on that account she was； of all things； most precious to me。
At last I was willing to say no more。 I was growing angry。 I felt wronged and I couldn't understand her。 Her silence hurt me more and more； and I knew that she could see this in my face。
Finally； I saw some change in her。 She sharpened her gaze and then she spoke：
〃Don't you see the grievous error you've made？〃 she asked。 〃Don't you hear it in the lessons you've made known to me？ Centuries ago； the young Satan worshipers came to you for what you could give when you lived with Pandora。 You denied them your precious knowledge。 You should have revealed to them the mystery of the Mother and the Father！〃
〃Good Lord； how could you believe such a thing？〃
〃And when Santino asked you in Rome； you should have brought him to this very shrine！ You should have shown to him the mysteries you revealed to me。 Had you done it； Marius； he would never have been your enemy。〃
I was enraged as I stared at her。 Was this my brilliant Bianca？
〃Don't you see！〃 she went on。 〃Over and over； these unstoppable fools have made a cult of nothing！ You could have shown them something！〃 She gestured towards me dismissively as though I disgusted her。 〃How many decades have we been here？ How strong am I？ Oh； you needn't answer。 I know my own endurance。 I know my own temper。
〃But don't you see； all my understanding of our powers is reinforced by their beauty and their majesty！ I know whence we e！ I have seen you drink from the Queen。 I have seen you wake from your swoon。 I have seen your skin healing。
〃But what did Amadeo ever see？ What did Santino ever see？ And you marvel at the extent of their heresy。〃
〃Don't call it heresy！〃 I declared suddenly； the words bursting from my lips。 〃Don't speak as if this were a worship！ I have told you that yes； there are secret things； and things which no one can explain！ But we are not worshipers！〃
〃It is a truth you revealed to me；〃 she said；
