srdonaldson.theillearthwar-第37章

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nd　beauty　how　could　we　justify　such　hazards？
　〃No；　we　must　work　in　other　ways。　If　we　are　to　gain　the　power　to　defend　the　Earth；　and　yet　not　endanger　the　Land　itself；　we　must　be　the　masters　of　what　we　do。　And　it　was　for　this　purpose　that　Lord　Kevin　created　his　Wards…so　that　those　who　came　after　him　could　hold　power　wisely。〃
　　〃Oh；　right！〃　Covenant　snapped。　〃Look　at　the　good　it　did　him。　Hellfire！　Even　supposing　you're　going　to　have　the　luck　or　the　brains　or　even　the　chance　to　find　all　Seven　Wards　and　figure　them　out；　what　bloody　damnation！…what's　going　to　happen　when　dear；　old；　dead　Kevin　finally　lets　you　have　the　secret　of　the　Ritual　of　Desecration？　And　it's　your　last　chance　to　stop　Foul　in　a　war　again！　How're　you　going　to　rationalize　that　to　the　people　who'll　have　to　start　from　scratch　a　thousand　years　from　now　because　you　just　couldn't　get　out　of　repeating　history？　Or　do　you　think　that　when　the　crisis　es　you're　somehow　going　to　do　a　better　job　than　Kevin　did？〃
　He　spoke　coldly；　rapidly；　but　a　smudged　undercurrent　in　his　voice　told　Mhoram　that　he　was　not　talking　about　what　was　uppermost　in　his　mind。　He　seemed　to　be　putting　the　Lord　through　a　ritual　of　questions；　testing　him。　Mhoram　responded　carefully；　hoping　for　Covenant's　sake　that　he　would　not　make　a　mistake。
　〃We　know　the　peril　now。　We　have　known　it　since　the　Giants　returned　the　First　Ward　to　us。　Therefore　we　have　sworn　the　Oath　of　Peace…and　will　keep　it　so　that　never　again　will　life　and　Land　be　harmed　by　despair。　If　we　are　brought　to　the　point　where　we　must　desecrate　or　be　defeated；　then　we　will　fight　until　we　are　defeated。　The　fate　of　the　Earth　will　be　in　other　hands。〃
　〃Which　I'm　doing　nothing　but　make　difficult　for　you。　Just　having　this　white　gold　raises　prospects　of　eradication　that　never　occurred　to　you　before…not　to　mention　the　fact　that　it's　useless。　Before　this　there　wasn't　enough　power　around　to　make　it　even　worth　your　while　to　worry　about　despair；　since　you　couldn't　damage　the　Land　if　you　wanted　to。　But　now　Foul　might　get　my　ring…or　I　might　use　it　against　you…but　it'll　never　save　you。〃
　Covenant's　hands　twitched　on　the　table　as　if　he　were　fumbling；　for　something。　His　fingers　knotted　together；　tensed；　then　sprang　apart　to　grope　separately；　aimlessly。　〃All　right。　Forget　that；　too。　I'm　ing　to　that。　How　in　the　name　of　all　the　gods　are　you　going　to　fight　a　war…a　war；　Mhoram；　not　just　fencing　around　with　a　bunch　of　Cavewights　and　urviles！　When　everyone　you've　got　who's　tall　enough　to　hold　a　sword　has　sworn　this　Oath　of　Peace？　Or　are　there　special　dispensations　like　fine　print　in　your　contracts　exempting　wars　from　moral　strictures　or　even　the　simple　horror　of　blood？〃
　It　was　in　Mhoram's　heart　to　tell　Covenant　that　he　went　too　far。　But　the　fumbling；　graspless　jerks　of　his　hands…one　maimed；　the　other　carrying　his　ring　like　a　fetter…told　Mhoram　that　the　affront　of　the　Unbeliever's　language　was　directed　inward　at　himself；　not　at　the　Lords　or　the　Land。　This　perception　increased　Mhoram's　concern；　and　again　he　replied　with　steady　dignity。
　〃My　friend；　killing　is　always　to　be　abhorred。　It　is　a　measure　of　our　littleness　that　we　cannot　evade　it。　But　I　must　remind　you　of　a　few　matters。　You　have　heard　Berek's　Code…it　is　part　of　our　Oath。　It　mands　us：
　
　Do　not　hurt　where　holding　is　enough；
　do　not　wound　where　hurting　is　enough；
　do　not　maim　where　wounding　is　enough；
　and　kill　not　where　maiming　is　enough；
　the　greatest　warrior　is　he　who　does　not　need　to　kill。
　
　And　you　have　heard　High　Lord　Prothall　say　that　the　Land　would　not　be　served　by　angry　bloodshed。　There　he　touched　upon　the　heart　of　the　Oath。　We　will　do　all　that　might　or　mastery　permits　to　defend　the　Land　from　Despite。　But　we　will　do　nothing…to　the　Land；　to　our　foes；　to　each　other…which　is　manded　to　us　by　our　hearts'　black　passions　or　pain　or　lust　for　death。　Is　this　not　clear　to　you；　ur…Lord？　If　we　must　fight　and；　yes；　kill；　then　our　only　defense　and　vindication　is　to　fight　so　that　we　do　not　bee　like　our　Enemy。　Here　Kevin　Landwaster　failed…he　was　weakened　by　that　despair　which　is　the　Despiser's　strength。
　〃No；　we　must　fight…if　only　to　preserve　ourselves　from　watching　the　evil；　as　Kevin　watched　and　was　undone。　But　if　we　harm　each　other；　or　the　Land；　or　hate　our　foes…ah；　there　will　be　no　dawn　to　the　night　of　that　failure。〃
　〃That's　sophistry。〃
　〃Sophistry？　I　do　not　know　this　word。〃
　〃Clever　arguments　to　finance　what　you've　already　decided　to　do。　Rationalizations。　War　in　the　name　of
　Peace。　As　if　when　you　poke　your　sword　into　a　foe　you　aren't　slicing　up　ordinary　flesh　and　blood　that　has　as　much　right　to　go　on　living　as　you　do。〃
　〃Then　do　you　truly　believe　that　there　is　no　difference　between　fighting　to　destroy　the　Land　and　fighting　to　preserve　it？〃
　〃Difference？　What　has　that　got　to　do　with　it？　It's　still　killing。　But　never　mind。　Forget　that；　too。　You're　doing　too　good　a　job。　If　I　can't　pick　holes　in　your　answers　any　better　than　this；　I'm　going　to　end　up…〃　His　hands　began　to　shake　violently；　and　he　snatched　them　out　of　sight；　shoved　them　below　the　table。　〃I'll　end　up　freezing　to　death；　that's　what。〃
　Slumped　back　in　his　chair；　Covenant　fell　into　an　aching　silence。　Mhoram　felt　the　pressure　between　them　build；　and　decided　that　the　time　had　e　to　ask　questions　of　his　own。　Breathing　to　himself　the　Seven　Words；　he　said　kindly；　〃You　are　troubled；　my　friend。　The　High　Lord　is　difficult　to　refuse；　is　she　not？〃
　〃So？〃　Covenant　snapped。　But　a　moment　later；　he　groaned；　〃Yes。　Yes；　she　is。　But　that　isn't　it。　The　whole　Land　is　difficult　to　refuse。　I've　felt　that　way　from　the　beginning。　That　isn't　it。〃　After　a　tense　pause；　he　went　on：　〃Do　you　know　what　she　did　to　me　yesterday？　She　took　me　upland　to　see　that　Unfettered　One　…the　man　who　claims　to　understand　dreams。　I　was　there　for　a　day　or　more…　But　you're　the　seer　and　oracle…I　don't　have　to　tell　you　about　him。　You've　probably　gone　up　there　yourself　more　than　anyone；　else；　couldn't　help　it；　if　only　because　mere　ordinary　human　ears　can　only　stand　to　hear　so　much　contempt　and　laughter　and　no　more；　regardless　of　whether　you're　asleep　or　not。　So　you　know　what　it's　like。　You　know　how　he　latches　onto　you　with　those　eyes；　and　holds　you　down；　and　dissects…　But　you're　the　seer　and　oracle。　You　probably　even　know　what　he　said　to　me。〃
　〃No；〃　Mhoram　replied　quietly。
　〃He　said…　Hellfire！〃　He　shook　his　head　as　if　he　were　dashing　water　from　his　eyes。　〃He　said　that　I　dream　the　truth。　He　said　that　I　am　very　fortunate。　He　said　that　people　with　such　dreams　are　the　true　enemies　of　Despite　it　isn't　Law；　the　Staff　of　Law　wasn't　made　to　fight　Foul　with…no；　it's　wild　magic　and　dreams　that　are　the　opposite　of　Despite。〃　For　an　instant；　the　air　around　him　quivered　with　indignation。　〃He　also　said　that　I　don't　believe　it。　That　was　a　big　help。　I　just　wish　I　knew　whether　I　am　a　hero　or　a　coward。
　〃No；　don't　answer　that。　It　isn't　up　to　you。〃
　Lord　Mhoram　smiled　to　reassure　Covenant；　but　the　Unbeliever　was　already　continuing；　〃Anyway；　I've　got　a　belief…for　what　it's　worth。　It　just　isn't　exactly　the　one　you　people　want　me　to　have。〃
　Probing　again；　Mhoram　said；　〃That　may　be。　But　I　do　not　see　it。　You　do　not　show　us　belief；　but　Unbelief。　If　this　is　believing；　then　it　is　not　belief　for；　but　rather　belief　against。〃
　Covenant　jumped　to　his　feet　as　if　he　had　been　stung。　〃I　deny　that！　Just　because　I　don't　affirm　the　Land　or　whatever；　carry　on　like　some　unraveled　fanatic　and　foam　at　the　mouth　for　a　chance　to　fight　like　Troy　does；　doesn't　mean　assuming　that　there's　some　kind　of　justice　in　the　labels　and　titles　which　you　people　spoon　around…assuming　you　can　put　a　name　at　all　to　this　gut…broken　whatever　that　I　can't　even　articulate　much　less　prove　to　myself。　That　is　not　what　Unbelief　means。〃
　〃What　does　it　mean？〃
　〃It　means…〃　For　a　moment；　Covenant　stopped；　choking　on　the　words　as　if　his　heart　suffered　some　blockage。　Then　he　reached　forward　and　shaded　the　gem　of　the　krill　with　his　hands　so　that　it　did　not　shine　in　his　eyes。　In　a　voice　suddenly。　and　terribly　suffused　with　the　impossibility　of　any　tears　which　would　have　eased　him；　he　shouted；　〃It　means　I've　got　to　withhold　…to　discount…to　keep　something　for　myself！　Because　I　don't　know　why！〃　The　next　instant；　he　dropped　back　into　his　ch