srdonaldson.theillearthwar-第31章

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tand　the　risk；　but　a　leper　can't。　If　I　give　in　here；　I　won't　last　a　month　where　it　really　counts。　Because　I'll　have　to　go　back。　Am　I　getting　through　to　you？〃
　〃Yes；〃　Troy　said。　〃Yes。　I'm　not　stupid。　But　think　about　it　for　a　minute。　If　it　should　happen…if　it　should　somehow　be　true　that　the　Land　is　real…then　you're　denying　your　only　hope。　And　that's…〃
　〃I　know。〃
　〃…that's　not　all。　There's　something　you're　not　taking　into　account。　The　one　thing　that　doesn't　fit　this　delusion　theory　of　yours　is　power…your　power。　White　gold。　Wild　magic。　That　damn　ring　of　yours　changes　everything。　You're　not　a　victim　here。　This　isn't　being　done　to　you。　You're　responsible。〃
　〃No；〃　Covenant　groaned。
　〃Wait　a　minute！　You　can't　just　deny　this。　You're　responsible　for　your　dreams；　Covenant。　Just　like　anybody　else。〃
　No！　Nobody　can　control　dreams。　Covenant　tried　to　fill　himself　with　icy　confidence；　but　his　heart　was　chilled　by　another　cold　entirely。
　Troy　pressed　his　argument。　〃There's　been　plenty　of　evidence　that　white　gold　is　just　exactly　what　the　Lords　say　it　is。　How　were　the　defenses　of　the　Second　Ward　broken？　How　did　the　Fire…Lions　of　Mount　Thunder　get　called　down　to　save　you？　White　gold；　that's　how。　You've　already　got　the　key　to　the　whole　thing。〃
　〃No。〃　Covenant　struggled　to　give　his　refusal　some　force。　〃No。　It　isn't　like　that。　What　white　gold　does　in　the　Land　has　nothing　to　do　with　me。　It　isn't　me。　I　can't　touch　it；　make　it　work；　influence　it。　It's　just　another　thing　that's　happened　to　me。　I've　got　no　power。　For　all　I　know　or　can　do　about　it；　this　wild　magic　could　turn　on　tomorrow　or　five　seconds　from　now　and　blast　us　all。　It　could　crown　Foul　king　of　the　universe　whether　I　want　it　to　or　not。　It　has　nothing　to　do　with　me。〃
　〃Is　that　a　fact？〃　Troy　said　sourly。　〃And　since　you　don't　have　any　power；　no　one　can　hold　you　to　blame。〃
　Troy's　tone　gave　Covenant　something　on　which　to　focus　his　anger。　〃That's　right！〃　he　flared。　〃Let　me　tell　you　something。　The　only　person　in　life　who's　free　at　all；　ever；　is　a　person　who's　impotent。　Like　me。　Or　what　do　you　think　freedom　is？　Unlimited　potential？　Unrestricted　possibilities？　Hellfire！　Impotence　is　freedom。　When　you're　incapable　of　anything；　no　one　can　expect　anything　from　you。　Power　has　its　own　limit　seven　ultimate　power。　Only　the　impotent　are　free。
　〃No！〃　he　snapped　to　stop　Troy's　protest。　〃I'll　tell　you　something　else。　What　you're　really　asking　me　to　do　is　learn　how　to　use　this　wild　magic　so　I　can　go　around　butchering　the　poor；　miserable　creatures　in　Foul's　army。　Well；　I'm　not　going　to　do　it。　I'm　not　going　to　do　any　more　killing…and　certainly　not　in　the　name　of　something　that　isn't　even　real！〃
　〃Hooray；〃　muttered　Troy　in　tight　sarcasm。　〃Sweet　Jesus。　Whatever　happened　to　people　who　used　to　believe　in　things？〃
　〃They　got　leprosy　and　died。　Weren't　you　listening　to　that　song？〃
　Before　Troy　could　reply；　they　rounded　a　corner；　and　entered　an　intersection　where　several　halls　came　together。　Bannor　stood　in　the　junction　as　if　he　were　waiting　for　them。　He　blocked　the　hall　Covenant　had　intended　to　take。　〃Choose　another　way；〃　he　said　expressionlessly。　〃Turn　aside。　Now。〃
　Troy　did　not　hesitate；　he　swung　away　to　his　right。　While　he　moved；　he　asked　quickly；　〃Why？　What's　going　on？〃
　But　Covenant　did　not　follow。　The　crest　of　his　anger；　his　bone…deep　frustration；　still　held　him　up。　He　stopped　where　he　was　and　glared　at　the　Bloodguard。
　〃Turn　aside；〃　Bannor　repeated。　〃The　High　Lord　desires　that　you　should　not　meet。〃
　From　the　next　hallway；　Troy　called；　〃Covenant！　e　on！〃
　For　a　moment；　Covenant　maintained　his　defiance。　But　Bannor's　impervious　gaze　deflated　him。　The　Bloodguard　looked　as　immune　to　affront　or　doubt　as　a　stone　wall。　Muttering　uselessly　under　his　breath；　Covenant　started　after　Troy。
　But　he　had　delayed　too　long。　Before　he　was　hidden　in　the　next　hallway；　a　man　came　into　the　intersection　from　the　passage　behind　Bannor。　He　was　as　tall；　thick；　and　solid　as　a　pillar；　his　deep　chest　easily　supported　his　broad　massive　shoulders　and　brawny　arms。　He　walked　with　his　head　down；　so　that　his　heavy；　regret　beard　rested　like　a　burden　on　his　breast；　and　his　face　had　a　look　of　ruddy　strength　gone　ominously　rancid；　curdled　by　some　admixture　of　gall。
　Woven　into　the　shoulders　of　his　brown　Stonedownor　tunic　was　a　pattern　of　white　leaves。
　Covenant　froze；　a　spasm　of　suspense　and　fear　gripped　his　guts。　He　recognized　the　Stonedownor。　In　the　still　place　at　the　center　of　the　spasm；　he　felt　sorrow　and　remorse　for　this　man　whose　life　he　had　ruined　as　if　he　were　incapable　of　regret。
　Striding　back　into　the　intersection；　Troy　said；　〃I　don't　understand。　Why　shouldn't　we　meet　this　man？　He's　one　of　the　rhadhamaerl。　Covenant；　this　is…〃
　Covenant　cut　Troy　off。　〃I　know　him。〃
　Trell's　eyes　held　Covenant　readily；　as　if　after　years　of　pressure　they　were　charged　with　too　much　blood。　〃And　I　know　you；　Thomas　Covenant。〃　His　voice　came　out　stiffly；　it　sounded　disused；　cramped；　as　if　he　had　kept　it　fettered　for　a　long　time；　fearing　that　it　would　betray　him。　〃Are　you　not　satisfied？　Have　you　e　to　do　more　harm？〃
　Through　a　roar　of　pounding　blood　in　his　ears；　Covenant　heard　himself　saying　for　the　second　time；　〃I'm　sorry。〃
　〃Sorry？〃　Trell　almost　choked　on　the　word。　〃Is　that　enough？　Does　it　raise　the　dead？〃　For　a　moment；　he　shuddered　as　if　he　were　about　to　break　apart。　His　breath　came　in　deep；　hoarse　gasps。　Then；　convulsively；　he　threw　his　strong　arms　wide　like　a　man　breaking　bonds。　Jumping　forward；　he　caught　Covenant　around　the　chest；　lifted　him　off　the　floor。　With　a　fierce　snarl；　he　hugged　Covenant；　striving　to　crush　his　ribs。
　Covenant　wanted　to　cry　out；　howl　his　pain；　but　he　could　make　no　sound。　The　vise　of　Trell's　arms　drove　the　air　from　his　lungs；　stunned　his　heart。　He　felt　himself　collapsing　inwardly；　destroying　himself　with　his　own　pressure。
　Dimly；　he　saw　Bannor　at　Trell's　back。　Twice　Bannor　punched　at　Trell's　neck。　But　the　Gravelingas　only　increased　his　grip；　growling　savagely。
　Someone；　Troy；　shouted；　〃Trell！　Trell！〃
　Bannor　turned　and　stepped　away。　For　one　frantic　instant；　Covenant　feared　that　the　Bloodguard　was　abandoning　him。　But　Bannor　only　needed　space　for　his　next　attack。　He　leaped　high　in　the　air；　and　as　he　dropped　toward　Trell；　he　chopped　the　Gravelingas　across　the　base　of　his　neck　with　one　elbow。　Trell　staggered；　his　grip　loosened。　Continuing　the　same　motion；　Bannor　caught　Trell　under　the　chin　with　his　other　arm。　The　sharp　backward　jerk　pulled　Trell　off　balance。　As　he　toppled；　he　lost　his　hold　on　Covenant。
　Covenant　landed　heavily　on　his　side；　retching　for　air。　Through　his　dizzy　gasps；　he　heard　Troy　shouting；　heard　the　warning　in　Troy's　voice。　He　looked　up　in　time　to　see　Trell　charge　toward　him　again。　But　Bannor　was　swifter。　As　Trell　lunged；　Bannor　met　him　head…on；　butted　him　with　such　force　that　he　reeled　backward；　crashed　against　the　wall；　fell　to　his　hands　and　knees。
　The　impact　stunned　him。　His　massive　frame　writhed　in　pain；　and　his　fingers　gouged　involuntarily　at　the　stone；　as　if　he　were　digging　for　breath。
　They　clenched　into　the　floor　as　if　it　were　only　stiff　clay。　In　a　moment；　both　his　fists　were　knotted　in　the　rock。
　Then　he　drew　a　deep　shuddering　breath；　and　snatched　his　hands　out　of　the　floor。　He　stared　at　the　holes　he　had　made；　he　was　appalled　to　see　that　he　had　damaged　stone。　When　he　raised　his　head；　he　was　panting　hugely；　so　that　his　broad　chest　strained　at　the　fabric　of　his　tunic。
　Bannor　and　Troy　stood　between　him　and　Covenant。　The　Warmark　held　his　sword　poised。　〃Remember　your　Oath！〃　he　manded　sharply。　〃Remember　what　you　swore。　Don't　betray　your　own　life。〃
　Tears　started　running　soundlessly　from　Trell's　eyes　as　he　stared　past　the　Warmark　at　Covenant。　〃My　Oath？〃　he　rasped。　〃He　brings　me　to　this。　What　Oath　does　he　take？〃　With　a　sudden　exertion；　he　heaved　himself　to　his　feet。　Bannor　stepped　slightly　ahead　of　Troy　to　defend　against　another　attack；　but　Trell　did　not　look　at　Covenant　again。　Breathing　strenuously；　as　if　there　were　not　enough　air　for　him　in　the　Keep；　he　turned　and　shambled　away　down　one　of　the　corridors。
　Hugging　his　bruised　chest；　Covenant　moved　over　to　sit　with　his　back　against　the　wall。　The　pain　made　him　cough　thickly。　Troy　stood　nearby；　tight…upped　and　int