epeters.amorbidtasteforbones-第41章
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He tried to rise from his knees； and it was as if they were nailed to the wood of the prie…dieu。 He tried to find a voice； and only a dry croaking came out of his stiff throat。 She could not be there； there was no one there！ But the saints go where they please； and reveal themselves to whom they please； and sometimes terribly。 His cold fingers clutched at the desk； and felt nothing。 His tongue； like an unplaned splinter of wood； tore the roof of his mouth when he fought to make it speak。
〃There is no hope for you but in confession； Columbanus； murderer！ Speak！ Confess！〃
〃No！〃 croaked Columbanus； forcing out words in frantic haste。 〃I never touched Rhisiart！ I was here in your chapel； holy virgin； all that afternoon； how could I have harmed him？ I sinned against you； I was faithless； I slept。。。。 I own it！ Don't lay a greater guilt on me。。。。〃
〃It was not you who slept；〃 breathed the voice； a tone higher； a shade more fiercely； 〃liar mat you are！ Who carried the wine？ Who poisoned the wine； causing even the innocent to sin？ Brother Jerome slept； not you！ You went out into the forest and waited for Rhisiart； and struck him down。〃
〃No。。。 no； I swear it！〃 Shaking and sweating； he clawed at the desk before him； and could get no leverage with his palsied hands to prise himself to his feet and fly from her。 How can you fly from beings who are everywhere and see everything？ For nothing mortal could possibly know what this being knew。 〃No； it's all wrong； I am misjudged！ I was asleep here when Father Huw's messenger came for us。 Jerome shook me awake。。。。 The messenger is witness。。。。〃
〃The messenger never passed the doorway。 Brother Jerome was already stirring out of his poisoned sleep； and went to meet him。 As for you； you feigned and lied； as you feign and lie now。 Who was it brought the poppy syrup？ Who was it knew its use？ You were pretending sleep； you lied even in confessing to sleep； and Jerome； as weak as you are wicked； was glad enough to think you could not accuse him； not even seeing that you were indeed accusing him of worse； of your act； of your slaying！ He did not know you lied； and could not charge you with it。 But / know； and I do charge you！ And my vengeance loosed upon Cradoc may also be loosed upon you； if you lie to me but once more！〃
〃No！〃 he shrieked； and covered his face as though she dazzled him with lightnings； though only a thin； small； terrible sound threatened him。 〃No； spare！ I am not lying！ Blessed virgin； I have been your true servant。。。 I have tried to do your will。。。 I know nothing of this！ I never harmed Rhisiart！ I never gave poisoned wine to Jerome！〃
〃Fool！〃 said the voice in a sudden loud cry。 〃Do you think you can deceive me？ Then what is this？〃
There was a sudden silvery flash in the air before him； and something fell and smashed with a shivering of glass on the floor just in front of the desk； spattering his knees with sharp fragments and infinitesimal； sticky drops； and at the same instant the flame of the lamp died utterly； and black darkness fell。
Shivering and sick with fear； Columbanus groped forward along the earth floor； and slivers of glass crushed and stabbed under his palms； drawing blood。 He lifted one hand to his face； whimpering； and smelled the sweet； cloying scent of the poppy syrup； and knew that he was kneeling among the fragments of the phial he had left safe in his scrip at Cadwallon's house。
It was no more than a minute before the total darkness eased； and there beyond the bier and the altar the small oblong shape of the window formed in parative light； a deep； clear sky； moonless but starlit。 Shapes within the chapel again loomed very dimly； giving space to his sickening terror。 There was a figure standing motionless between him and the bier。
It took a little while for his eyes to accustom themselves to the dimness； and assemble out of it this shadowy； erect pallor； a woman lost in obscurity from the waist down； but head and shoulders feebly illuminated by the starlight from the altar window。 He had not seen her e； he had heard nothing。 She had appeared while he was dragging his torn palm over the shards of glass； and moaning as if at the derisory pain。 A slender； still form swathed from head to foot closely in white； Winifred in her grave clothes； long since dust； a thin veil covering her face and head； and her arm outstretched and pointing at him。
He shrank back before her； scuffling abjectly backwards along the floor； making feeble gestures with his hands to fend off the very sight of her。 Frantic tears burst out of his eyes； and frantic words from his lips。
〃It was for you！ It was for you and for my abbey！ I did it for the glory of our house！ I believed I had warranty…from you and from heaven！ He stood in the way of God's will！ He would not let you go。 I meant only rightly when I did what I did！〃
〃Speak plainly；〃 said the voice； sharp with mand； 〃and say out what you did。〃
〃I gave the syrup to Jerome…in his wine…and when he was asleep I stole out to the forest path； and waited for Rhisiart。 I followed him。 I struck him down。。。。 Oh； sweet Saint Winifred； don't let me be damned for striking down the enemy who stood in the way of blessedness。。。。〃
〃Struck in the back！〃 said the pale figure； and a sudden cold gust of air swept over her and shuddered in her draperies； and surging across the chapel； blew upon Columbanus and chilled him to the bone。 As if she had touched him！ And she was surely a pace nearer； though he had not seen her move。 〃Struck in the back； as mean cowards and traitors do！ Own it！ Say it all！〃
〃In the back！〃 babbled Columbanus； scrambling back from her like a broken animal； until his shoulders came up against the wall； and he could retreat no farther。 〃I own it。 I confess it all！ Oh； merciful saint； you know all； and I cannot hide from you！ Have pity on me！ Don't destroy me！ It was all for you； I did it for you！〃
〃You did it for yourself；〃 charged the voice； colder than ice and burning like ice。 〃You who would be master of whatever order you enter； you with your ambitions and stratagems； you setting out wilfully to draw to yourself all the glory of possessing me； to work your way into the centre of all achievements； to show as the favourite of heaven； the paragon of piety； to elbow Brother Richard out of his succession to your prior； and if you could； the prior out of his succession to your abbot。 You with your thirst to bee the youngest head under a mitre in this or any land！ I know you； and I know your kind。 There is no way too ruthless for you； providing it leads to power。〃
〃No； no！〃 he panted； bracing himself back against the wall； for certainly she was advancing upon him； and now in bitter； quiet fury； jetting menace from her outstretched finger…tips。 〃It was all for you； only for you！ I believed I was doing your will！〃
〃My will to evil？〃 the voice rose into a piercing cry； sharp as a dagger。 〃My will to murder？〃
She had taken one step too many。 Columbanus broke in frenzied fear； clawed himself upright by the wall； and struck out with both hands； beating at her blindly to fend her off from touching； and uttering thin； babbling cries as he flailed about him。 His left hand caught in her draperies and dragged the veil from her face and head。 Dark hair fell round her shoulders。 His fingers made contact with the curve of a smooth； cool cheek； cool； but not cold； smooth with the graceful curves of firm young flesh； where in his sick horror he had expected to plunge his hand into the bony hollows of a skull。
He uttered a scream that began in frantic terror and ended in soaring triumph。 The hand that had shrunk from contact turned suddenly to grasp hold； knotting strong fingers in the dark tangle of hair。 He was very quick； Columbanus。 It took him no more than the intake of a breath to know he had a flesh…and…blood woman at the end of his arm； and scarcely longer to know who she must be； and what she had done to him； with this intolerable trap in which she had caught him。 And barely another breath to consider that she was here alone； and to all appearances had set her trap alone； and if she survived he was lost； and if she did not survive； if she vanished…there was plenty left of the night！…he was safe； a
