lh.narcissusinchains-第89章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
〃Me too;〃 I said。
She looked down at me; thoughtful now。 〃I'll keep the gun safe。 Is there anything else Igor and I can do to help?〃
I tried to think of something; but only one thing came to mind。 〃If the leopards can't control me; make sure I don't hurt anyone。〃
〃How bad is this going to be?〃 she asked。
I shrugged。 〃Normally; I wouldn't be this worried; but last time I called her she didn't get her bit of flesh; or sex。 Hitting Richard made her happy; but 。。。 〃 I tried to explain。 〃I called her three times in a row for practice; without molesting or hurting anyone。 My teacher; Marianne; and I both thought it was a sign that I was gaining control of Raina。 Then the fourth time I called her; it was worse than it had ever been。 You either pay as you go with Raina; or you end up owing her; and owing es with interest; and the interest is hell to pay。〃
〃Should you give me the knives; too; then?〃 Claudia asked。
She had a point; no pun intended。 I took the wrist sheaths off; folded them up; and handed them to her。
〃I thought you could control this shit。〃 Caleb was standing just a little behind and to one side of Claudia。 He was looking up at the tall woman as if wondering what she'd do if he tried to climb her。 I almost wanted him to try; because I was pretty sure what would happen; and even more sure that I'd enjoy watching it。 Caleb needed a good lesson from someone。
〃I can。〃
〃Then why all the precautions?〃
I could have told him about the time in Tennessee when Raina's munin nearly started a riot among Verne's pack in a sort of game of rape tag; with me as the rapee; but I didn't。 Instead; I said; 〃If you're not going to be helpful; stand over to the side and shut the fuck up。〃
He opened his mouth as if to protest; but Merle said; 〃Caleb; do what she says。〃 His voice was quiet; a deep rumble of sound; but that mild tone seemed to work on Caleb like a charm。
〃Sure; Merle; anything you say。〃 He went to stand over to one side; near Dr。 Lillian and Igor。
I glanced at Merle。 〃Thanks;〃 I said。
He just bowed his head at me。
Dr。 Lillian said; 〃I take this to mean that you want me to wait on the injection。〃
I nodded。 〃Yeah。〃
She turned and walked back through the sliding glass doors; into the darkened house。 Everyone else stayed where they were; looking at me。 Even Caleb; sulking by the railing with his arms crossed; was still watching the show。
I slipped my shirt off and felt rather than saw all my people react; like wind through a wheat field; involuntary。 I never undressed in front of people unless I absolutely had to。 The black bra I was wearing covered more than most swim suits; but there's something about letting people see you in your underwear that just makes all us good little girls squirm。
〃Black lace; I like it;〃 Caleb said。
I started to say something; but Merle beat me to it。 〃Shut up; Caleb; and don't make me tell you again。〃
Caleb settled back against the rail; arms hugging himself; face crinkled into a sulk that made him look even younger than he was。
〃Go on;〃 Merle said; 〃he won't interrupt again。〃
I looked at him。 It was bad that he kept interfering。 It undermined my authority; but since I wasn't entirely sure I had any authority over Caleb; it was okay; I guess。 But it bugged me。 I just wasn't sure what to do about it。
〃I appreciate the help; but if our pards really do merge; then Caleb is going to have to learn to respect me; not you。〃
〃You don't want my help?〃 He made it a question。
〃Priority tonight is Gregory; but Caleb and I are going to have to e to an understanding。〃
〃Are you going to shoot him too?〃
I tried to read Merle's face and failed。 A sort of blank hostility was all that showed。 〃You think I'll have to?〃
Merle gave a very small smile。 〃Maybe。〃
It made me smile; a little。 〃Great; just what I need; another discipline problem in my pard。〃
His smile vanished like a hand had wiped it away。 〃We're not your cats; Anita; not yet。〃
I shrugged。 〃Whatever you say。〃
〃We are not yours;〃 he said。
I watched his face and saw something cross it in the moonlight。 Maybe if I'd had better light I could have deciphered it。 〃Why does the thought of me being in charge bother you so much?〃
He shook his head。 〃It's not you being in charge that bothers me。〃
〃Then what is it?〃
He shook his head again。 〃What bothers me is you trying to be in charge and failing failing really; really badly。〃
〃I do my best; Merle; that's all I can do。〃
He nodded。 〃I believe you; but I've seen a lot of people try their best and still not make it。〃
I shrugged and let it go。 〃Be pessimistic on your own time; Merle; we need a little hope here; not negativity。〃
〃I'll just shut up then;〃 he said; which implied that if he couldn't be negative he had nothing to say。 Fine by me。
I turned back to Gregory and his wide; frightened eyes。 I touched his face gently; trying to ease some of that fear; but he flinched ever so slightly when I touched him。 You get enough abuse in your life; and you begin to think that every offered hand is a blow waiting to strike。
〃It'll be alright; Gregory;〃 I said。 Since he couldn't hear me; I must have been saying it to reassure myself。 It didn't seem to do a damn thing for Gregory。
I tried to see Gregory as a lust object; and I failed。 I ran my hands over the smooth skin of his back; I grabbed a handful of those yellow curls; looked into those lovely eyes; but all I could feel was pity。 All I could feel was protective towards him and how much I wanted to keep him safe。 He was totally nude; sitting in front of me; and he was lovely。 There was nothing wrong with the way he looked; except that I didn't see Gregory in that way。 Trust me to find a way to make virtue a problem。
I turned to Stephen; who was still kneeling beside us。 〃I'm sorry; he's beautiful; but I want to hold him; keep him safe; not have sex with him; and protective instincts are not going to get Raina to e out。〃
Cherry said; 〃You simply called Raina at the lupanar。 Why is this different?〃
I looked up at her; standing nude and fortable against the deck railing。 Zane was next to her; clothed; and just as fortable。
〃I can call Raina; but I can't guarantee she'll help me heal Gregory。 The healing usually es with lust; not without。〃
〃Call her;〃 Stephen said。 〃Once she's here maybe the rest will e。〃
〃You mean call her munin; then get her in the mood; not me。〃
He looked very solemn; but he nodded。
〃You know what her idea of sex is; Stephen。〃
He nodded again。 〃Trust me;〃 he said。
Strangely; I did。 He wasn't dominant; in fact was very often a victim; but Stephen did what he said he'd do; at almost any cost。 There was a desperate stubbornness in him; no matter how often you knocked him down。
〃I'll call the munin。〃
〃And I'll make sure that Raina sees Gregory the way she needs to see him。〃
We looked at each other and had one of those moments of near perfect understanding。 Stephen would do anything to save his brother; and I would almost anything to help him do that。
30
I SAT BACK on my heels in front of Gregory; and I opened myself to the munin; dropped that barrier that kept Raina out; and she spilled up through me like warm water filling a pipe; up; up; riding on a wave of eagerness that she hadn't had at the lupanar。 A thrill of fear went through me。 I knew it was a bad sign; but I didn't fight her。 I let her e; let her fill me up; let her laugh bubble from my throat。
When she looked at Gregory; she had no trouble seeing him as a sexual object; but then Raina saw almost everyone as a sexual object; so no big surprise。
I touched his face; caressed the line of his jaw。 Gregory's eyes widened。 I realized in that moment that he might not know what the hell we were doing; or what had changed。 I could call Raina and think rationally。 I'd fought long and hard to be able to do that。 I could be distant while my hand glided down Gregory's bare chest。 I could stop my hand our hand at his slender waist; and Raina couldn't force me lower。 She snarled in my head; giving me a visual of her in wolf shape; snapping at me。 But it was just a visual; like a dream; it couldn't hurt me; or anyone。
Raina spoke in my