lh.narcissusinchains-第84章

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　He　looked　away；　then　back；　and　his　eyes　held　such　sadness　that　I　wanted　to　take　it　back；　but　I　couldn't。　It　was　time　we　talked。　It　was　like　the　old　joke　about　the　elephant　in　the　living　room。　No　one　acknowledged　it　existed　until　the　shit　was　so　deep　they　couldn't　walk。　Glancing　down　at　Gregory；　I　knew　the　shit　was　too　deep　to　ignore。　We　were　out　of　options　except　for　the　truth；　no　matter　how　brutal。
　〃If　I'd　stepped　down　as　Ulfric；　even　if　Jacob　had　let　me　do　it；　it　would　still　have　been　civil　war。　He'd　have　still　executed　those　closest　to　me。　It　would　have　been　deserting　them。　I'd　rather　die；　than　just　walk　away　and　leave　them　to　be　slaughtered。〃
　〃If　that's　how　you　really　feel；　Richard；　then　I've　got　a　better　plan。　Make　an　example　of　Jacob　and　his　followers。〃
　〃It's　not　that　simple；　Anita。　Jacob's　got　enough　support　that　it　might　still　be　war。〃
　〃Not　if　it's　bloody　enough。〃
　〃What　are　you　saying？〃
　〃Make　them　fear　you；　Richard。　Make　them　fear　you。　Machiavelli　said　it　nearly　six　hundred　years　ago；　but　it's　still　true。　Every　ruler　should　strive　for　his　people　to　love　him。　But　if　they　cannot　love　you；　then　make　them　fear　you。　Love　is　better；　but　fear　will　do　the　job。〃
　He　swallowed　hard；　and　there　was　something　close　to　fear　in　his　eyes。　〃I　think　I　could　kill　Jacob；　and　even　execute　one　or　two　of　his　people；　but　you　don't　think　that's　enough；　do　you？〃
　〃Depends　on　how　you　execute　them。〃
　〃What　are　you　asking　me　to　do；　Anita？〃
　I　sighed　and　stroked　Gregory's　cheek。　〃I'm　asking　you　to　do　what　needs　doing；　Richard。　If　you　want　to　hold　this　pack　together　and　save　hundreds　of　lives；　then　I'm　telling　you　how　you　can　do　it　with　the　minimum　amount　of　bloodshed。〃
　〃I　can　kill　Jacob；　but　I　can't　do　what　you're　asking。　I　can't　do　something　so　terrible　that　the　entire　pack　would　fear　me。〃　He　looked　at　me；　and　there　was　a　wildness；　a　panic　in　his　face；　like　a　trapped　thing　that　finally　realizes　there　is　no　escape。
　I　could　feel　my　face　grow　calm；　and　I　felt　myself　sinking　into　that　place　where　there　is　nothing　but　white　noise　and　the　solid；　almost　forting　surety　that　I　felt　nothing。　I　said；　softly；　〃I　can。〃
　He　turned　away　from　me；　as　if　I　hadn't　spoken；　and　called　up　for　them　to　lower　the　harness。　We　slid　the　harness　around　Gregory；　talking　only　about　the　task　at　hand　　no　metaphysics；　no　politics。　There　was　a　second　harness　on　the　rope；　and　Richard　made　me　put　it　on。　I'd　get　to　cradle　Gregory；　protecting　him　with　my　body　so　he　didn't　get　scraped　up　too　badly。
　〃I've　never　done　this　before；〃　I　said。
　〃I'm　too　broad　through　the　shoulders　to　add　Gregory's　bulk　to　mine。　It　has　to　be　you。　Besides；　you'll　keep　him　safe；　I　know　you　will。〃　There　was　something　in　his　eyes　that　made　me　want　to　say　something；　but　he　jerked　on　the　rope　and　we　started　rising　into　the　air。
　Richard　watched　us；　face　upturned；　his　flashlight　casting　odd　shadows　around　the　small　room　as　he　knelt　on　the　bones。　Then　we　were　up　inside　the　tunnel；　and　I　couldn't　see　him　anymore。　I　had　my　arms　full；　literally　and　figuratively；　trying　to　keep　Gregory　from　crashing　into　the　walls。　His　arms　and　legs　were　still　almost　useless。　I　wasn't　sure　if　it　was　because　of　the　long　confinement　or　the　drugs　he'd　been　given；　or　both。　Probably　both。
　Gregory　kept　saying　〃thank　you；　thank　you；　thank　you〃　under　his　breath。
　By　the　time　we　reached　the　top；　there　were　tears　drying　on　my　cheeks。　Regardless　of　what　Richard　decided；　someone　was　going　to　pay。
　Jacob　was　there；　already　bound　in　silver　chains；　carried　like　a　piece　of　struggling　luggage　between　three　werewolves。　They　let　him　keep　his　cutoff　shorts。　No　nudity　for　the　good　guys。　I　guess　there　have　to　be　some　differences；　or　how　do　you　tell　which　side　you're　on？
　Cherry　was　already　checking　Gregory　over。　She　had　to　keep　chasing　the　other　leopards　back。　They　kept　trying　to　touch　him。
　I　stared　across　the　clearing　at　Jacob。　The　look　in　his　eyes　was　enough。　Richard　could　be　squeamish　if　he　wanted　to　be；　but　if　I　let　what　had　been　done　to　Gregory　stand　unchallenged；　then　Jacob　and　his　followers　would　see　it　as　weakness。　They'd　turn　and　destroy　us　once　Jacob　secured　his　power　base。　Because　there　was　one　way　for　Jacob　to　avoid　a　civil　war；　and　that　was　by　doing　what　I　was　encouraging　Richard　to　do。　If　he　did　something　so　terrible　that　the　others　were　afraid　to　fight；　then　he　could　be　Ulfric　without　a　bloodbath。　I'd　seen　what　he'd　done　to　Gregory。　Call　it　a　hunch；　but　I　was　willing　to　bet　Jacob　would　do　what　needed　doing。　He　didn't　strike　me　as　the　squeamish　sort。
　Richard　climbed　out　of　the　hole。　〃Put　him　in。〃
　〃Do　you　want　the　drugs　used？〃　Sylvie　asked。
　Richard　nodded。
　〃What　about　the　blindfold　and　the　rest？〃
　Richard　shook　his　head。　〃Not　necessary。〃
　Jacob　started　struggling　again。　〃You　can't　do　this！〃
　Richard　knelt　in　front　of　him；　holding　him　by　his　thick　hair。　The　grip　looked　painful。　〃Who　showed　you　where　these　were？〃　He　held　his　hand　out　with　the　silver…tipped　earplugs　in　his　palm。
　〃Oh；　my　God；〃　Sylvie　whispered。
　Others　asked；　〃What　is　it？〃
　〃Who；　Jacob？　Who　told　you　our　dirty　little　secrets？〃
　Jacob　just　stared　at　him。
　〃I　could　have　them　used　on　you；〃　Richard　said。
　Jacob　paled　a　little；　but　he　didn't　answer。　His　jaw　was　so　tense　that　I　could　see　the　muscles　pulsing；　but　he　didn't　give　up　who'd　helped　him。　He　didn't　even　ask　if　answering　the　question　would　save　him　from　the　oubliette。　I　had　to　admire　that；　at　least；　but　I　didn't　have　to　like　it。
　〃You　wouldn't　do　that。〃　It　was　Paris；　looking　a　lot　less　confident　than　she　had　by　the　throne。　She　looked　downright　unsure　of　herself　in　her　skintight　dress。
　Richard　looked　at　her　for　a　long　time；　or　maybe　it　just　seemed　long；　and　something　in　his　eyes　made　her　look　away。
　〃You're　right；　I　can't　use　them　on　Jacob；　or　anyone。〃　He　looked　around　the　clearing　at　the　scattered　wolves　and　at　the　ones　waiting　in　the　trees　beyond。　〃But　hear　me；　if　there　are　anymore　of　these　things　around；　I　want　them　destroyed。　When　Jacob　es　out　of　the　oubliette；　it　is　to　be　sealed　up　forever。　You　have　learned　nothing　from　me；　if　any　of　you　could　do　this；　you　have　learned　nothing。〃　He　signaled　Sylvie；　and　she　came　forward　with　a　syringe。
　The　three　werewolves　had　to　hold　Jacob　against　the　ground　for　her　to　give　him　the　shot。　They　held　him　until　his　limbs　went　limp　and　his　eyes　fluttered　shut。
　〃He'll　wake　up　in　the　oubliette；〃　Richard　said。　His　voice　held　not　just　tiredness；　but　defeat。　He　turned　to　me　as　they　carried　Jacob　towards　the　hole。　〃Take　your　leopards；　and　your　allies；　and　go　home；　Anita。〃
　〃I'm　lupa；　remember；　you　can't　kick　me　out　of　pack　business。〃
　He　smiled；　but　it　left　his　eyes　empty　and　tired。　〃You're　still　lupa；　but　for　tonight　you're　also　Nimir…Ra；　and　your　leopards　need　you。　Take　care　of　Gregory；　and　for　what　it's　worth；　I'm　sorry　about　all　of　this。〃
　〃Sorry　is　worth　something；　Richard；　but　it　doesn't　change　things。〃
　〃It　never　does；〃　he　said。
　I　couldn't　read　his　mood。　He　wasn't　sad　exactly；　or　worried；　or；　anything　I　had　a　name　for；　except　defeated。　It　was　like　he'd　already　lost　the　battle。
　〃What　are　you　going　to　do？〃　I　asked。
　〃I'm　going　to　find　out　who　helped　Jacob　do　this。〃
　〃How？〃　I　asked。
　He　smiled　and　shook　his　head。　〃Go　home；　Anita。〃
　I　stood　and　looked　at　him　for　a　heartbeat　or　two；　then　turned　back　to　my　leopards。　Gregory　was　on　a　stretcher；　and　Zane　and　Noah　were　carrying　it。　Cherry　was　talking　to　the　werewolf　doctor　that　had　packed　Jacob's　nose。　She　was　doing　a　lot　of　nodding。　Instructions；　maybe。
　Micah　was　standing　at　the　edge　of　the　group　watching　me。　I　met　his　eyes；　but　neither　of　us　smiled。　I　looked　back　but　Richard　was　already　moving　off　through　the　trees　with　Jamil　and　Shang…Da　at　his　back。　Micah's　face　was　very　neutral　as　I　walked　towards　him。　I　wasn't　hopeful　anymore。　I　could　have　played　it　cool；　but　I　didn't　want　to。　I　was　tired；　so　terribly　tired。　My　clothes　smelled　like　an　outhouse；　and　probably　so　did　my　skin。　I　wanted　a　shower；　clean　clothes；　and　to　make　the　lost　look　in　Gregory's　eyes　go　away。　The　shower　and　clothes　were　the　easy　part。　I　didn't　even　know　how　to　begin　to　make　Gregory's　pain　go　away。
　I　held　out　my　hand　to　Micah；　not　because　of　otherworldly　energy；　apparently