lh.narcissusinchains-第77章

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　My　beast　spilled　over　my　skin　and　reached　out　like　a　playful　kitten　to　swat　at　Richard's　power。　The　energies　sparked　against　each　other；　and　I　could　almost　see　the　play　of　colors　in　my　head；　like　flint　and　steel　being　struck　against　one　another；　except　in　technicolor。
　I　heard　Richard　catch　his　breath；　his　eyes　were　very　wide。　His　voice　came　hoarse；　almost　strangled。　〃Did　you　do　that　on　purpose？〃
　I　shook　my　head。　I　didn't　trust　myself　to　speak。　The　sparks　had　quieted；　and　it　was　as　if　I　were　leaning　against　a　nearly　solid　wall　of　power；　his　and　mine；　as　if　I　could　have　leaned　against　that　energy　and　it　alone　would　have　kept　us　from　touching。　I　finally　found　my　voice；　but　it　was　a　whisper。　〃What's　happening？〃
　〃The　marriage　of　the　marks；　I　think；〃　he　said；　voice　almost　equally　soft。
　I　wanted　so　badly　to　reach　through　that　power　and　touch　him；　to　see　if　the　beasts　would　roll　through　each　other　like　they　did　for　Micah　and　me。　I　knew　it　was　silly；　he　was　wolf；　and　apparently　I　was　leopard；　so　our　beasts　wouldn't　recognize　each　other。　But　I'd　loved　Richard　for　so　long；　and　we　were　bound　to　each　other　by　Jean…Claude's　marks；　and　I　carried　a　piece　of　his　beast　inside　me。　I　had　to　know。　I　had　to　know　if　I　could　have　with　Richard　what　I　had　with　Micah。
　My　hand　moved　through　the　power；　and　it　was　like　shoving　it　into　an　electric　socket。　The　energy　was　so　strong；　it　bit　along　my　skin。　I　was　reaching　for　his　shoulder；　a　nice　neutral　place　to　touch　someone；　when　he　rolled　off　the　side　of　the　throne　and　was　suddenly　standing　beside　it。　He'd　moved　so　fast　I　couldn't　follow　with　my　eyes。　I'd　seen　the　beginning　of　the　movement　and　the　end；　but　the　middle　　I'd　blinked　and　missed　it。
　〃No；　Anita；〃　he　said；　〃no；　if　we　can't　ever　touch　again；　I　don't　want　to　feel　your　beast。　We　may　not　be　the　same　animal；　but　it　will　be　more　than　anything　we've　ever　had　between　us。　I　couldn't　bear　it。〃
　I　let　my　hand　fall　to　my　side　and　stepped　back　far　enough　from　the　throne　for　him　to　regain　his　seat。　I　wasn't　apologizing　again；　but　I　wanted　to。　I　wanted　to　cry　for　both　of　us；　or　scream。　I　know　the　universe　has　a　sense　of　irony；　and　sometimes　you　get　reminded　just　how　sadistic　that　can　be。
　I　would　finally　have　to　accept　his　furry　half；　because　I'd　have　one　of　my　own。　I　could　be　Richard's　nearly　perfect　lover；　at　long　last；　and　we　could　never　touch　each　other　again。
　
　24
　
　RICHARD　WAS　SITTING　on　his　throne　again；　and　I　was　standing　back　far　enough　for　him　to　feel　safe。　Rafael；　Micah；　and　Reece　had　all　moved　up　beside　me；　a　half…circle　of　kings　at　my　back。　It　should　have　made　me　feel　secure。　It　didn't。　I　was　tired；　so　terribly　tired；　so　terribly　sad。　Even　with　Micah　at　my　back；　I　couldn't　stop　looking　at　Richard；　couldn't　stop　wondering；　what　if。　Oh；　I　knew；　I'd　never　have　allowed　him　to　make　me　a　werewolf　on　purpose；　but　a　small　part　of　me　wondered。　But　I　told　that　small　part　to　shut　up；　and　I　got　down　to　business。
　〃I　want　Gregory　back　unharmed。　How　do　I　do　that；　according　to　lukoi　law？〃
　Richard　said；　〃Jacob。〃　That　one　word　sounded　as　tired　as　I　felt。
　Jacob　stepped　forward；　obviously　pleased　with　himself。　〃Your　leopard　is　here　on　our　land；　and　we've　done　nothing　to　hide　his　scent　trail。　If　you　can　track　him；　you　can　take　him　home。〃
　I　raised　my　eyebrows　at　him。　〃I　have　to　follow　a　scent　trail　like　a　dog？〃
　〃If　you　were　a　true　shapeshifter；　you　could　do　it；〃　Jacob　said。
　〃This　isn't　a　fair　test；〃　Rafael　said。　〃She　hasn't　had　her　first　change。　Most　of　our　secondary　powers　don't　appear　until　after　our　first　full　moon。〃
　〃It　doesn't　have　to　be　scenting；〃　Richard　said；　〃but　it　must　be　something　that　only　a　shapeshifter　could　do。　Something　that　only　a　shifter　powerful　enough　to　truly　be　Nimir…Ra；　or　lupa；　could　do。〃　He　was　looking　at　me　when　he　said　it；　and　there　was　something　in　his　eyes；　something　he　was　trying　to　tell　me。
　〃That　doesn't　sound　very　fair　either；〃　Micah　said。
　Richard　kept　looking　at　me；　willing　me　to　understand　him。　I　didn't　know　why　he　didn't　just　drop　his　shields　and　let　me　see　his　mind。
　Almost　as　if　Richard　had　read　my　mind；　he　said；　〃No　werewolf　or　wererat　or　wereleopard；　no　one　can　aid　you　in　finding　your　leopard。　If　anyone　interferes　in　any　way；　then　the　test　is　invalid；　and　he'll　die。〃
　〃Even　if　that　help　is　metaphysical？〃　I　asked。
　Richard　nodded。　〃Even　if。〃
　I　looked　at　him；　studied　his　face；　and　frowned。　I　finally　shook　my　head。　I'd　had　a　vision　of　where　Gregory　was；　and　under　what　circumstances；　but　it　gave　me　no　real　clue。　All　I　really　needed　to　do　was　ask　someone　where　a　hole　was　with　bones　at　the　bottom。　But　I　couldn't　ask　anyone　there。　Then　I　had　an　idea。
　〃Can　I　use　my　own　metaphysical　abilities　to　aid　me？〃
　Richard　nodded。
　I　looked　at　Jacob；　because　I　knew　the　objection　would　e　from　him；　if　anyone。　〃I　don't　think　your　necromancy　is　going　to　help　you　locate　your　leopard。〃
　Actually；　it　might　have。　If　the　bones　Gregory　was　lying　on　were　the　largest　burial　sight　in　the　area；　then　I　might　be　able　to　track　the　bones　and　find　him。　Or　I　might　spend　all　night　chasing　after　piles　of　buried　animals　or　old　Indian　graves。　I　had　a　faster　way；　maybe　not　better；　but　faster。
　I　sat　down　on　the　ground；　Indian　fashion；　resting　my　hands　lightly　on　my　knees。
　〃What　are　you　doing？〃　Jacob　asked。
　〃I'm　going　to　call　the　munin；〃　I　said。
　He　laughed；　a　loud　bray　of　sound。　〃Oh；　this　should　be　good。〃
　I　closed　my　eyes；　and　I　opened　that　part　of　me　that　dealt　with　the　dead。　I've　heard　Marianne　and　her　friends　describe　it　to　be　like　opening　a　door；　but　it's　so　much　a　part　of　me　that　it's　more　like　unclenching　a　hand；　like　opening　something　in　my　body　that　is　as　natural　as　reaching　across　the　table　for　the　salt。　That　might　sound　like　an　awfully　mundane　description　of　something　mystical；　but　the　mystical　stuff　truly　is　a　part　of　everyday　life。　It's　always　there；　we　just　choose　to　ignore　it。
　The　munin　are　the　spirits　of　the　dead；　put　into　a　sort　of　racial　memory　bank　that　can　be　accessed　by　lukoi　who　have　the　ability　to　speak　with　them。　It's　a　rare　ability；　to　my　knowledge　no　one　in　Richard's　pack　could　do　it。　But　I　could。　The　munin　are　just　another　type　of　dead；　and　I'm　good　with　the　dead。
　In　Tennessee；　the　munin　of　Verne　and　Marianne's　pack　had　e　quickly　and　eagerly　　so　very　close　to　being　real　ghosts；　crowding　around　me；　eager　to　speak。　I'd　practiced　until　I　could　pick　and　choose　who　would　join　with　me　and　be　able　to　municate。　It　was　close　enough　to　channeling　or　mediumship　that　Marianne　had　suggested　I　could　probably　do　this　with　normal　ghosts；　if　I　wanted。　I　didn't　want　to。　I　didn't　like　sharing　my　body　with　another　being；　dead　or　alive。　Creeped　me　out；　yes　it　did。
　I　waited　to　feel　the　press　of　the　munin　spreading　around　me；　like　a　ghostly　card　deck　that　I　could　shuffle　and　pick　the　very　card　I　wanted。　Nothing　happened。　The　munin　did　not　e。　Or　rather　a　gathering　of　munin　did　not　e。　There　was　always　one　munin　that　came　when　I　called；　and　sometimes　when　I　didn't。
　Raina　was　the　only　munin　of　Richard's　pack　that　traveled　with　me　always。　Even　in　Tennessee；　surrounded　by　munin　from　a　different　clan　line；　Raina　was　still　there。　Marianne　said　that　Raina　and　I　had　a　etheric　bond；　though　she　wasn't　sure　why。　I'd　managed　to　call　munin　hundreds　of　years　old；　and　Raina；　the　very　recently　dead；　came　with　more　than　ease。　But　Marcus；　the　previous　Ulfric；　remained　elusive。　I'd　thought　with　my　newfound　control　I'd　be　able　to　call　him；　but　not　only　was　Marcus　not　there；　no　one　was　there。　The　clearing　was　empty　of　spirits。　It　shouldn't　have　been。　This　was　the　spot　where　they　consumed　their　dead；　each　pack　member　eating　the　flesh　to　take　on　the　memories　and　courage；　or　faults；　of　the　recently　dead。　They　could　choose　not　to　feed；　but　it　was　like　the　ultimate　exmunication。　Raina　had　been　a　bad　person；　and　I　wondered　sometimes　what　exactly　you　had　to　do　to　get　exmunicated　from　the　lukoi。　Raina　had　been　so　bad　that　I　would　have　let　her　go；　but　she　was　powerful。　Maybe　that's　why　she　was　still　hanging　around。
　Though　hanging　around　implied　she　was　like　the　phantoms　of　Verne's　pack；　and　she　wasn't。　She　was　internal　to　me；　as　if　she　poured　out　from　inside　my　body；　rather　than　pouring　into　me　from　outside