lh.narcissusinchains-第43章
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ng with me？
I felt Nathaniel at my back。 〃Are you alright？〃 he said。
I shook my head。 〃I don't think so。〃
〃Look；〃 Jason said； 〃I'm sorry； but I don't want Jacob in charge of the pack I don't trust him。 Richard may be a bleeding…heart； flag…waving right…winger； but he's also fair； and he really does try to put the best interests of the pack before his own。 I don't want to lose that。〃
I looked at him； trying to swallow past the anger。 My voice came out squeezed tight。 〃You're scared about what will happen to all of you if Jacob takes over。〃
He nodded。 〃Yes。〃
〃Me； too；〃 I said。
He looked into my face； studied it。 〃If Jacob kills Richard in a fair fight； what will you do？〃
〃Richard isn't my boyfriend anymore； and I'm not lupa。 If it's a fair challenge fight； then I can't interfere。 I told Jacob if the fight was fair； and after the full moon； I wouldn't take revenge on him。〃
〃You won't avenge Richard's death？〃
〃If I kill Jacob； and Richard and Sylvie are already dead； who'll take over？ I've seen what happens to a group of shapeshifters who don't have an alpha to lead them。 I won't let what happened to the leopards happen to the wolves。〃
〃If Jacob died before he fought Sylvie； then you wouldn't have to worry about it；〃 Jason said。
The anger that had been leaking away made a eback。 〃You can't have it both ways； Jason。 Either I'm not your lupa not dominant to you and thus can't help you fix this； or I am still your lupa； still dominant to you； still someone you e to for this kind of help。 Make up your mind which you want me to be before you get up in my face again。〃
〃You can't be lupa； the pack voted you out。 But you're right； it's not your fault。 You had to try and fix yourself before you could fix anyone else。 I'm sorry I got in your face。〃
〃Apology accepted；〃 I said。 I started to go around him through the door； but he caught my arm。
〃I didn't ask you to kill Jacob because you were my lupa； or dominant to me。 I asked you because I know you've already thought of it。 I asked you because I know if you think it's best for the pack； you'll do it。〃
〃Pack business is no longer my concern； so everyone keeps telling me。〃
〃They don't know you like I do；〃 he said。
I pulled away from him； gently。 〃What's that supposed to mean？〃
〃It means that once you've given your friendship your protection to someone； you take care of them； even if they don't want you to。〃
〃If I kill Jacob； Richard will never forgive me。〃
〃He dumped you； right？ What have you got to lose by killing Jacob？ Nothing。 But if you don't kill him； then you lose Sylvie and Richard。〃
I pushed past him。 〃I am getting really tired of doing everyone's dirty work。〃
〃No one is better at dirty work than you are； Anita。〃
That stopped me； made me turn back around to face him。 〃What's that supposed to mean？〃
〃It doesn't mean anything。 It's just the truth。〃 I stared into his so…solemn eyes。 I would have liked to argue； but I really couldn't。
I'd thought I couldn't feel worse about myself tonight。 I'd been wrong。 Watching the look in Jason's eyes； hearing him talk about me like that； made me feel worse。 This night just couldn't get any more depressing。
14
DAWN WAS MINUTES away when Jean…Claude came through the door in a robe。 〃You may have the bed； ma petite； and I will take my coffin。 I think your nerves are raw enough without me dying in your arms as the sun rises。〃
I'd have liked to argue； because I wanted him to hold me in the worst way； but he was right。 I'd had enough shocks for one night。 〃Nathaniel will stay with me；〃 I said。
A look passed over Jean…Claude's face。 〃And Jason； as well。〃
〃Why？〃
〃I do not have the time to explain； ma petite； but please trust me that Jason should be here； too。 It is for the best。〃
I could feel dawn trembling close； even so deep underground。 〃Okay； Jason can stay； too。〃
Jean…Claude was already edging out the door。 〃I will tell him on my way to the coffin room。 I am sorry to leave you like this； ma petite〃
〃Go； it's almost dawn；〃 I said。
He blew me a kiss then was gone； leaving the door slightly ajar。 Nathaniel was sitting on the corner of the bed； neutral in face； eyes； even body language。 He was very good at seeming nonthreatening； soothing almost。
I'd been sleeping off and on for almost four days； yet I was tired； unbelievably tired。 I wasn't sure it was physical； more like I'd overused my mind； my emotions。 I was wrung out。 〃Let's get some sleep。〃
He pulled off his tank top without another word； kicked off his shoes； pulled off his socks； and began to unbraid his hair。 I knew that would take a while； so I went into the bathroom while he finished。 It had been a long time since I'd seen Jean…Claude's bathroom； with its fancy black tub that was big enough for a small orgy。 The silver swan that the water came out of always reminded me of a fountain。 But no bath tonight。 I just wanted to sleep and to forget。 Forget everything。
Of course； I hadn't e away with jammies； and the shirt that Nathaniel had picked for me； though attractive and fortable； was not long enough to be a sleep shirt。 I could not sleep in jeans； it just wasn't fortable。 Damn； why should the small things be so important on a night when all the big things had gone to hell？
There was a knock on the bathroom door。 〃I'll be out in a minute； Nathaniel。〃
〃It's Jason。〃
〃What do you want？〃
〃Didn't Jean…Claude tell you that I was bunking with you tonight？〃
〃He mentioned it。〃
〃He also sent me with pajamas for you。 He figured you didn't pack an overnight case。〃
That got me to the door； and opening it。 Jason stood there in a pair of blue silk boxers； baggy enough to be acceptable as sleepwear。 Acceptable for him to wear while sharing a bed with me； I might add。 Jason； left to his own devices； wore men's bikini underwear or less to bed。
He held out a folded piece of red satin。 I took it and let it spill through my hands。 It was actually two pieces； a loose top with spaghetti straps and a pair of shorts。 It was obviously meant to be lingerie。
〃He said to tell you that； of anything he had that would fit you； it covered the most； end quote；〃 Jason said。
I sighed。 〃Thanks； Jason； I'll be right out。〃 I closed the door without waiting for a reply。 The top that had looked loose actually clung pretty tightly across my breasts。 You'd certainly know whether I was cold or not。 The shorts were cut so high on the sides that the legs almost met the waistband。 It managed to cover everything and still not leave much to the imagination。 Lingerie design at its best； I suppose。
I opened the door and turned off the bathroom light as I came out。 Jason was already tucked into the covers on the right side of the bed。 Nathaniel was still sitting on the other side。 He got up as I came out； his unbound hair floating around him like a living curtain。 〃My turn；〃 he said softly； turning on the bathroom light and closing the door。
〃You look wonderful；〃 Jason said。
〃No pliments； Jason。 I'm unfortable enough in the lingerie。〃
〃Then by all means take it off。〃
I frowned at him。
He patted the bed beside him； grinning at me。 〃e to bed。〃
〃Piss me off enough and I'll send you back to your room。〃
〃Jean…Claude told me to stay here today。〃
〃I could insist。〃 I had my gun on top of my folded clothes； tucked under one arm。
〃If you'd shoot me just for teasing you； I'd have been dead a long time ago。〃
〃Please； Jason； I have had a very hard night。 Please； just behave yourself； just this once。〃
He raised his hand in the Boy Scout salute。 〃I won't bite； promise。〃
That made me think of Micah and caused me to blush； which was embarrassing under the circumstances。
Jason's eyes widened。 〃That's a better reaction than I've ever gotten from you。 I'll have to remember the line。〃
〃You reminded me of something embarrassing； that's all。〃
The grin faded to a smile。 〃I knew it wasn't because of me。〃
〃I am not going to baby…sit your ego； too； Jason。 You'll have to take care of it yourself。〃
〃Always do。〃 The smile had faded； leaving him serious。 With his yellow hair and blue eyes； he looked somehow out of place against all the black silk； as if he needed a different
