lh.narcissusinchains-第32章
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f how I'd take the news； or scared of something else； but what？
〃I am not going to be Nimir…Ra for real； guys。 I can't catch lycanthropy。 If I could 。。。 I've already been cut up enough 。。。 I'd have turned furry already。〃
The three of them just looked at me with wide eyes。 I turned from them to Micah。 His face was still neutral； careful； but there was a shadow in his eyes of 。。。 pity。 Pity？ I did not do pity； not as the object of it； anyway。
〃You're serious；〃 I said。
〃You're exhibiting all the secondary symptoms；〃 he said。 〃Rapid healing to the point that your muscles cramp。 A temperature hot enough to boil the brain of a human。 Yet when they lowered your temperature you nearly died。 You needed to bake in the warmth； the heat of your pard to heal。 That's how we healed you。 It wouldn't have worked if you weren't one of us。〃
I shook my head。 〃I don't believe you。〃
〃That's okay；〃 he said； 〃you've got two weeks until the full moon。 You won't change for the first time until then。 You've got time。〃
〃Time for what？〃 I asked。
〃Time to mourn；〃 he said。
I turned away from the passion in his eyes； the pity。 Shit。 I still didn't believe it。 〃How about a blood test？ That should prove it one way or the other。〃
Cherry answered； 〃Wolf lycanthropy shows up in the bloodstream anywhere from twenty…four to forty…eight hours； sometimes seventy…two。 Leopard lycanthropy； most of the big cat lycanthropies； take anywhere from seventy…two hours to over eight days to show up in the bloodstream。 A blood test won't prove anything yet。〃
I stared at them； trying to wrap my mind around it； and it just wouldn't wrap。 I shook my head。 〃I can't deal with this right now。〃
〃You're going to have to deal with it；〃 Micah said。
I shook my head。 〃Tonight； I have to get Jean…Claude out of jail。 I have to show the police he didn't murder me。〃
〃Your pard told me that you wouldn't want to be outted。 That you wouldn't want your police friends to know。〃
〃I am not a wereleopard；〃 I said。 It sounded stubborn even to me。
Micah smiled； gently； and that pissed me off。 〃Don't look at me like that。〃
〃Like what？〃 he asked。
〃Like a poor little deluded girl。 There are things you don't understand about me； about where my power es from。〃
〃You mean the vampire marks；〃 he said。
I looked past him to the three wereleopards in the doorway。 Something on my face made them all flinch。 〃So nice to know that we're just one big happy family with no secrets。〃
〃I was in on the discussions with the doctors on whether your rapid healing could be merely a side effect of the vampire marks；〃 he said。
〃Of course it is；〃 I said。 But the first thread of doubt was worming its way through my stomach。
〃If it will make you feel better；〃 he said。
I stared into that passionate face and felt anger wash over me in a line of heat； and with the anger came that trembling energy。 Richard's beast 。。。 or mine？ I let myself think the thought all the way through for the first time。 Was it my beast that I'd felt with Micah？ Was that why I hadn't gotten a sense of where Richard was； and what he was doing？ I'd thought of him several times during all the hoopla； but had never felt the mark between us open pletely。 I'd assumed it was Richard's energy； because it was lycanthrope energy。 But what if it hadn't been？ What if it had been mine？
Someone touched my arm； and I jumped。 It was Micah； his fingers barely touching my arm。 〃You look pale。 Do you need to sit down？〃
I took a step back and nearly stumbled。 He had to grab my arm to keep me from falling on the slick； wet tile。 I wanted to jerk away from him； but I was dizzy as if the world wasn't quite solid。 He eased me to the floor。
〃Put your head between your knees。〃
I sat Indian fashion on the floor； the wall to my back； my head bent over my folded legs while I waited for the light…headedness to pass。 I never fainted。 Not just from shock occasionally from blood loss but never from shock。
When I could think again； I raised up slowly。 Micah was kneeling beside me； all attentive and passionate； and I hated him。 I laid my towel…wrapped head back against the wall； closed my eyes。
〃Where are Elizabeth and Gregory？〃
〃Elizabeth wouldn't e to help；〃 Micah said。
I opened my eyes at that； turning just my head to meet his eyes。 〃She give a reason for that？〃
〃She hates you；〃 he said； simply。
〃Yeah； she loved Gabriel； their old alpha； and I killed him。 Hard to be friends after that。〃
〃That's not why she hates you；〃 he said。
I searched his face。 〃What do you mean？〃
〃She hates that you're a better alpha as a human than she is as a wereleopard。 You make her feel weak。〃
〃She is weak；〃 I said。
He smiled； and it had humor in it this time。 〃Yes； she is。〃
〃Where's Gregory？〃
〃Are you going to punish him for contaminating you？〃 Micah asked。
I glanced back at the other three waiting in the door； silent。 I realized suddenly what the group dynamics meant。 They were treating Micah as their Nimir…Raj； letting him deal with me； like calling in the husband when the wife had one too many drinks。 I didn't like that much。 But if I concentrated just on the moment； the question at hand； no speculation； no looking for the future； maybe I'd survive。
〃If Gregory hadn't interfered I'd be dead right now。 They would have clawed out my heart。 It was an accident that he fell into me during the fight。〃 I was watching Micah's face； but I felt the relief sweep through the others； felt it from yards away。 I glanced up at them； and it showed in the lines of their bodies。
〃So where is he？ Where's Gregory？〃
The three of them did that hot…potato eye…flick game again。 〃Did he refuse to e help save me like Elizabeth？〃
〃No； of course not；〃 Cherry said。 But she didn't explain； didn't add to it。
I looked at Nathaniel。 He met my gaze； no flinching； but I didn't like what I saw in his eyes。 There was more bad news to e； you could smell it in the air。
I turned to Micah。 〃Fine； you tell me。〃
〃When your Ulfric found out that Gregory had made you their Nimir…Ra in truth； he 。。。 〃 Micah spread his hands。
〃He freaked。〃 Zane said it。
I glanced at all of them。 〃What do you mean； he freaked？〃
〃He took Gregory；〃 Cherry said。
〃What do you mean； he took Gregory？〃
〃He treated Gregory as an enemy of the pack；〃 Micah said。
I looked at him。 〃Go on。〃
〃If you had been their lupa in truth； if someone injured you it is within the Ulfric's rights to declare them an enemy of the pack； a criminal。〃
I kept staring into those yellow green eyes。 〃What exactly does that mean？〃
〃It means that the wolves have your leopard； and they will pass judgment on him for injuring you。〃
〃No way； I mean； even if I am turning into a wereleopard； which I'm not。 It doesn't hurt me。 I mean； I'm just going to be a shapeshifter like them now。〃
〃Not like them；〃 Micah said； 〃like us。〃
I tried to read his face； but I just didn't know him well enough yet。 〃You have a point； make it。〃
〃You can't be the wolves' lupa and the leopard's Nimir…Ra。〃
〃I've been both for a long time。〃
We shook his head； and again he winced as if his neck hurt。 〃No； you were a human dating the Ulfric； who declared you lupa。 You were a human that was taking care of the wereleopards until you could find a true alpha leopard to take over the job。 Now； you're truly Nimir…Ra； and the pack won't accept you as one of them。〃
〃Are you saying Richard dumped me because I'm going to be a wereleopard？〃
〃No； I'm saying that the pack won't accept you as his lupa。〃 Micah glanced down； then up。 I could see him trying to put his thoughts into words。 〃My understanding of what's been happening with your local wolves is that Ulfric has taken them from a monarchy where his word was law； to a democracy where the majority rules。 He gets a decisive vote； but not the last word。〃
I nodded。 It sounded like what Richard had wanted for the pack。 〃It sounds like something he'd do。 I've sort of been out of touch for the last few months。〃
〃He has succeeded too well。 The vote went against him； against you。 The pack will not accept you as lupa when you're wereleopard and not werewolf。〃
I looked past him at the others。 〃Is that true？〃
They all no
