pgw.piccadillyjim-第22章

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mistakeably　to　other　theses　on　the　same　subject。
　Jimmy's　breakfast　congealed　on　its　tray；　untouched。　That　boon　which　the　gods　so　seldom　bestow；　of　seeing　ourselves　as　others　see　us；　had　been　accorded　to　him　in　full　measure。　By　the　time　he　had　pleted　his　third　reading　he　was　regarding　himself　in　a　purely　objective　fashion　not　unlike　the　attitude　of　a　naturalist　towards　some　strange　and　loathesome　manifestation　of　insect　life。　So　this　was　the　sort　of　fellow　he　was！　He　wondered　they　had　let　him　in　at　a　reputable　hotel。
　The　rest　of　the　day　he　passed　in　a　state　of　such　humility　that　he　could　have　wept　when　the　waiters　were　civil　to　him。　On　the　Monday　morning　he　made　his　way　to　Park　Row　to　read　the　files　of　the　Chroniclea　morbid　enterprise；　akin　to　the　eccentric　behaviour　of　those　priests　of　Baal　who　gashed　themselves　with　knives　or　of　authors　who　subscribe　to　press…clipping　agencies。
　He　came　upon　another　of　the　articles　almost　at　once；　in　an　issue　not　a　month　old。　Then　there　was　a　gap　of　several　weeks；　and　hope　revived　that　things　might　not　be　as　bad　as　he　had　fearedonly　to　be　crushed　by　another　trenchant　screed。　After　that　he　set　about　his　excavations　methodically；　resolved　to　know　the　worst。　He　knew　it　in　just　under　two　hours。　There　it　all　washis　row　with　the　bookie；　his　bad　behaviour　at　the　political　meeting；　his　breach…of…promise　case。　It　was　a　plete　biography。
　And　the　name　they　called　him。　Piccadilly　Jim！　Ugh！
　He　went　out　into　Park　Row；　and　sought　a　quiet　doorway　where　he　could　brood　upon　these　matters。
　It　was　not　immediately　that　the　practical　or　financial　aspect　of　the　affair　came　to　scourge　him。　For　an　appreciable　time　he　suffered　in　his　self…esteem　alone。　It　seemed　to　him　that　all　these　bustling　persons　who　passed　knew　him；　that　they　were　casting　sidelong　glances　at　him　and　laughing　derisively；　that　those　who　chewed　gum　chewed　it　sneeringly　and　that　those　who　ate　their　cigars　ate　them　with　thinly…veiled　disapproval　and　scorn。　Then；　the　passage　of　time　blunting　sensitiveness；　he　found　that　there　were　other　and　weightier　things　to　consider。
　As　far　as　he　had　had　any　connected　plan　of　action　in　his　sudden　casting…off　of　the　flesh…pots　of　London；　he　had　determined　as　soon　as　possible　after　landing　to　report　at　the　office　of　his　old　paper　and　apply　for　his　ancient　position。　So　little　thought　had　he　given　to　the　minutiae　of　his　future　plans　that　it　had　not　occurred　to　him　that　he　had　anything　to　do　but　walk　in；　slap　the　gang　on　the　back；　and　announce　that　he　was　ready　to　work。　Work！　on　the　staff　of　a　paper　whose　chief　diversion　appeared　to　be　the　satirising　of　his　escapades！　Even　had　he　possessed　the　moral　courageor　gallto　make　the　application；　what　good　would　it　be？　He　was　a　by…word　in　a　world　where　he　had　once　been　a　worthy　citizen。　What　paper　would　trust　Piccadilly　Jim　with　an　assignment？　What　paper　would　consider　Piccadilly　Jim　even　on　space　rates？　A　chill　dismay　crept　over　him。　He　seemed　to　hear　the　grave　voice　of　Bayliss　the　butler　speaking　in　his　car　as　he　had　spoken　so　short　a　while　before　at　Paddington　Station。
　〃Is　it　not　a　little　rash；　Mr。　James？〃
　Rash　was　the　word。　Here　he　stood；　in　a　country　that　had　no　possible　use　for　him；　a　country　where　petition　was　keen　and　jobs　for　the　unskilled　infrequent。　What　on　earth　was　there　that　he　could　do？
　Well；　he　could　go　home。　。　。　。　No；　he　couldn't。　His　pride　revolted　at　that　solution。　Prodigal　Son　stuff　was　all　very　well　in　its　way；　but　it　lost　its　impressiveness　if　you　turned　up　again　at　home　two　weeks　after　you　had　left。　A　decent　interval　among　the　husks　and　swine　was　essential。　Besides；　there　was　his　father　to　consider。　He　might　be　a　poor　specimen　of　a　fellow；　as　witness　the　Sunday　Chronicle　passim；　but　he　was　not　so　poor　as　to　e　slinking　back　to　upset　things　for　his　father　just　when　he　had　done　the　only　decent　thing　by　removing　himself。　No；　that　was　out　of　the　question。
　What　remained？　The　air　of　New　York　is　bracing　and　healthy；　but　a　man　cannot　live　on　it。　Obviously　he　must　find　a　job。　But　what　job？
　What　could　he　do？
　A　gnawing　sensation　in　the　region　of　the　waistcoat　answered　the　question。　The　solutionwhich　it　put　forward　was；　it　was　true；　but　a　temporary　one；　yet　it　appealed　strongly　to　Jimmy。　He　had　found　it　admirable　at　many　crises。　He　would　go　and　lunch；　and　it　might　be　that　food　would　bring　inspiration。
　He　moved　from　his　doorway　and　crossed　to　the　entrance　of　the　subway。　He　caught　a　timely　express；　and　a　few　minutes　later　emerged　into　the　sunlight　again　at　Grand　Central。　He　made　his　way　westward　along　Forty…second　Street　to　the　hotel　which　he　thought　would　meet　his　needs。　He　had　scarcely　entered　it　when　in　a　chair　by　the　door　he　perceived　Ann　Chester；　and　at　the　sight　of　her　all　his　depression　vanished　and　he　was　himself　again。
　〃Why；　how　do　you　do；　Mr。　Bayliss？　Are　you　lunching　here？〃
　〃Unless　there　is　some　other　place　that　you　would　prefer；〃　said　Jimmy。　〃I　hope　I　haven't　kept　you　waiting。〃
　Ann　laughed。　She　was　looking　very　delightful　in　something　soft　and　green。
　〃I'm　not　going　to　lunch　with　you。　I'm　waiting　for　Mr。　Ralstone　and　his　sister。　Do　you　remember　him？　He　crossed　over　with　us。　His　chair　was　next　to　mine　on　the　promenade　deck。〃
　Jimmy　was　shocked。　When　he　thought　how　narrowly　she　had　escaped；　poor　girl；　from　lunching　with　that　insufferable　pill　Teddyor　was　it　Edgar？he　felt　quite　weak。　Recovering　himself；　he　spoke　firmly。
　〃When　were　they　to　have　met　you？〃
　〃At　one　o'clock。〃
　〃It　is　now　five　past。　You　are　certainly　not　going　to　wait　any　longer。　e　with　me；　and　we　will　whistle　for　cabs。〃
　〃Don't　be　absurd！〃　　〃e　along。　I　want　to　talk　to　you　about　my　future。〃
　〃I　shall　certainly　do　nothing　of　the　kind；〃　said　Ann；　rising。　She　went　with　him　to　the　door。　〃Teddy　would　never　forgive　me。〃　She　got　into　the　cab。　〃It's　only　because　you　have　appealed　to　me　to　help　you　discuss　your　future；〃　she　said；　as　they　drove　off。　〃Nothing　else　would　have　induced　me　。　。　。〃
　〃I　know；〃　said　Jimmy。　〃I　felt　that　I　could　rely　on　your　womanly　sympathy。　Where　shall　we　go？〃
　〃Where　do　you　want　to　go？　Oh；　I　forget　that　you　have　never　been　in　New　York　before。　By　the　way；　what　are　your　impressions　of　our　glorious　country？〃
　〃Most　gratifying；　if　only　I　could　get　a　job。〃
　〃Tell　him　to　drive　to　Delmonico's。　It's　just　around　the　corner　on　Forty…fourth　Street。〃
　〃There　are　some　things　round　the　corner；　then？〃
　〃That　sounds　cryptic。　What　do　you　mean。〃
　〃You've　forgotten　our　conversation　that　night　on　the　ship。　You　refused　to　admit　the　existence　of　wonderful　things　just　round　the　corner。　You　said　some　very　regrettable　things　that　night。　About　love；　if　you　remember。〃
　〃You　can't　be　going　to　talk　about　love　at　one　o'clock　in　the　afternoon！　Talk　about　your　future。〃
　〃Love　is　inextricably　mixed　up　with　my　future。〃
　〃Not　with　your　immediate　future。　I　thought　you　said　that　you　were　trying　to　get　a　job。　Have　you　given　up　the　idea　of　newspaper　work；　then？〃
　〃Absolutely。〃
　〃Well；　I'm　rather　glad。〃
　The　cab　drew　up　at　the　restaurant　door；　and　the　conversation　was　interrupted。　When　they　were　seated　at　their　table　and　Jimmy　had　given　an　order　to　the　waiter　of　absolutely　inexcusable　extravagance；　Ann　returned　to　the　topic。
　〃Well；　now　the　thing　is　to　find　something　for　you　to　do。〃
　Jimmy　looked　round　the　restaurant　with　appreciative　eyes。　The　summer　exodus　from　New　York　was　still　several　weeks　distant；　and　the　place　was　full　of　prosperous…looking　lunchers；　not　one　of　whom　appeared　to　have　a　care　or　an　unpaid　bill　in　the　world。　The　atmosphere　was　redolent　of　substantial　bank…balances。　Solvency　shone　from　the　closely　shaven　faces　of　the　men　and　reflected　itself　in　the　dresses　of　the　women。　Jimmy　sighed。
　〃I　suppose　so；〃　he　said。　〃Though　for　choice　I'd　like　to　be　one　of　the　Idle　Rich。　To　my　mind　the　ideal　profession　is　strolling　into　the　office　and　touching　the　old　dad　for　another　thousand。〃
　Ann　was　severe。
　〃You　revolt　me！〃　she　said。　〃I　never　heard　anything　so　thoroughly　disgraceful。　You　need　work！〃
　〃One　of　these　days；〃　said　Jimmy　plaintively；　〃I　shall　be　sitting　by　the　roadside　with　my　dinner…pail；　and　you　will　e　by　in　your　limousine；　and　I　shall　look　up　at　you　and　say　'YOU　hounded　me　into　this！'　How　will　you　feel　then？〃
　〃Very