pgw.piccadillyjim-第13章

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　〃Very　good；　Mr。　James。〃
　〃And　now　leave　me；　Bayliss；　for　I　would　be　alone。　I　have　to　make　a　series　of　difficult　and　exhaustive　tests　to　ascertain　whether　I　am　still　alive。〃
　When　the　butler　had　gone；　Jimmy　adjusted　the　cushions；　closed　his　eyes；　and　remained　for　a　space　in　a　state　of　a。　He　was　trying；　as　well　as　an　exceedingly　severe　headache　would　permit；　to　recall　the　salient　events　of　the　previous　night。　At　present　his　memories　refused　to　solidify。　They　poured　about　in　his　brain　in　a　fluid　and　formless　condition；　exasperating　to　one　who　sought　for　hard　facts。
　It　seemed　strange　to　Jimmy　that　the　shadowy　and　inchoate　vision　of　a　bat；　a　fight；　a　brawl　of　some　kind　persisted　in　flitting　about　in　the　recesses　of　his　mind；　always　just　far　enough　away　to　elude　capture。　The　absurdity　of　the　thing　annoyed　him。　A　man　has　either　indulged　in　a　fight　overnight　or　he　has　not　indulged　in　a　fight　overnight。　There　can　be　no　middle　course。　That　he　should　be　uncertain　on　the　point　was　ridiculous。　Yet；　try　as　he　would；　he　could　not　be　sure。　There　were　moments　when　he　seemed　on　the　very　verge　of　settling　the　matter；　and　then　some　invisible　person　would　meanly　insert　a　red…hot　corkscrew　in　the　top　of　his　head　and　begin　to　twist　it；　and　this　would　interfere　with　calm　thought。　He　was　still　in　a　state　of　uncertainty　when　Bayliss　returned；　bearing　healing　liquids　on　a　tray。
　〃Shall　I　set　it　beside　you；　sir？〃
　Jimmy　opened　one　eye。
　〃Indubitably。　No　mean　word；　that；　Bayliss；　for　the　morning　after。　Try　it　yourself　next　time。　Bayliss；　who　let　me　in　this　morning？〃
　〃Let　you　in；　sir？〃
　〃Precisely。　I　was　out　and　now　I　am　in。　Obviously　I　must　have　passed　the　front　door　somehow。　This　is　logic。〃
　〃I　fancy　you　let　yourself　in；　Mr。　James；　with　your　key。〃
　〃That　would　seem　to　indicate　that　I　was　in　a　state　of　icy　sobriety。　Yet；　if　such　is　the　case；　how　is　it　that　I　can't　remember　whether　I　murdered　somebody　or　not　last　night？　It　isn't　the　sort　of　thing　your　sober　man　would　lightly　forget。　Have　you　ever　murdered　anybody；　Bayliss？〃
　〃No；　sir。〃
　〃Well；　if　you　had；　you　would　remember　it　next　morning？〃
　〃I　imagine　so；　Mr。　James。〃
　〃Well；　it's　a　funny　thing；　but　I　can't　get　rid　of　the　impression　that　at　some　point　in　my　researches　into　the　night　life　of　London　yestreen　I　fell　upon　some　person　to　whom　I　had　never　been　introduced　and　mitted　mayhem　upon　his　person。〃
　It　seemed　to　Bayliss　that　the　time　had　e　to　impart　to　Mr。　James　a　piece　of　news　which　he　had　supposed　would　require　no　imparting。　He　looked　down　upon　his　young　master's　recumbent　form　with　a　grave　miseration。　It　was　true　that　he　had　never　been　able　to　tell　with　any　certainty　whether　Mr。　James　intended　the　statements　he　made　to　be　taken　literally　or　not；　but　on　the　present　occasion　he　seemed　to　have　spoken　seriously　and　to　be　genuinely　at　a　loss　to　recall　an　episode　over　the　printed　report　of　which　the　entire　domestic　staff　had　been　gloating　ever　since　the　arrival　of　the　halfpenny　morning　paper　to　which　they　subscribed。
　〃Do　you　really　mean　it；　Mr。　James？〃　he　enquired　cautiously。
　〃Mean　what？〃
　〃You　have　really　forgotten　that　you　were　engaged　in　a　fracas　last　night　at　the　Six　Hundred　Club？〃
　Jimmy　sat　up　with　a　jerk；　staring　at　this　omniscient　man。　Then　the　movement　having　caused　a　renewal　of　the　operations　of　the　red…hot　corkscrew；　he　fell　back　again　with　a　groan。
　〃Was　I？　How　on　earth　did　you　know？　Why　should　you　know　all　about　it　when　I　can't　remember　a　thing？　It　was　my　fault；　not　yours。〃
　〃There　is　quite　a　long　report　of　it　in　to…day's　Daily　Sun；　Mr。　James。〃
　〃A　report？　In　the　Sun？〃
　〃Half　a　column；　Mr。　James。　Would　you　like　me　to　fetch　the　paper？　I　have　it　in　my　pantry。〃
　〃I　should　say　so。　Trot　a　quick　beat　back　with　it。　This　wants　looking　into。〃
　Bayliss　retired；　to　return　immediately　with　the　paper。　Jimmy　took　it；　gazed　at　it；　and　handed　it　back。
　〃I　overestimated　my　powers。　It　can't　be　done。　Have　you　any　important　duties　at　the　moment；　Bayliss？〃
　〃No；　sir。〃
　〃Perhaps　you　wouldn't　mind　reading　me　the　bright　little　excerpt；　then？〃
　〃Certainly；　sir。〃
　〃It　will　be　good　practice　for　you。　I　am　convinced　I　am　going　to　be　a　confirmed　invalid　for　the　rest　of　my　life；　and　it　will　be　part　of　your　job　to　sit　at　my　bedside　and　read　to　me。　By　the　way；　does　the　paper　say　who　the　party　of　the　second　part　was？　Who　was　the　citizen　with　whom　I　went　to　the　mat？〃
　〃Lord　Percy　Whipple；　Mr。　James。〃
　〃Lord　who？〃
　〃Lord　Percy　Whipple。〃
　〃Never　heard　of　him。　Carry　on；　Bayliss。〃
　Jimmy　posed　himself　to　listen；　yawning。
　
　CHAPTER　V
　THE　MORNING　AFTER
　
　BAYLISS　took　a　spectacle…case　from　the　recesses　of　his　costume；　opened　it；　took　out　a　pair　of　gold…rimmed　glasses；　dived　into　the　jungle　again；　came　out　with　a　handkerchief；　polished　the　spectacles；　put　them　on　his　nose；　closed　the　case；　restored　it　to　its　original　position；　replaced　the　handkerchief；　and　took　up　the　paper。　　〃Why　the　hesitation；　Bayliss？　Why　the　coyness？〃　enquired　Jimmy；　lying　with　closed　eyes。　〃Begin！〃
　〃I　was　adjusting　my　glasses；　sir。〃
　〃All　set　now？〃
　〃Yes；　sir。　Shall　I　read　the　headlines　first？〃
　〃Read　everything。〃
　The　butler　cleared　his　throat。
　〃Good　Heavens；　Bayliss；〃　moaned　Jimmy；　starting；　〃don't　gargle。　Have　a　heart！　Go　on！〃
　Bayliss　began　to　read。
　　　　　　　　FRACAS　IN　FASHIONABLE　NIGHT…CLUB
　　　　　　　　SPRIGS　OF　NOBILITY　BRAWL
　Jimmy　opened　his　eyes；　interested。
　〃Am　I　a　sprig　of　nobility？〃
　〃It　is　what　the　paper　says；　sir。〃
　〃We　live　and　learn。　Carry　on。〃
　The　butler　started　to　clear　his　throat；　but　checked　himself。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　SENSATIONAL　INTERNATIONAL　CONTEST
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　BATTLING　PERCY
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（England）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　v
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CYCLONE　JIM
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（America）
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　FULL　DESCRIPTION　BY　OUR　EXPERT
　Jimmy　sat　up。
　〃Bayliss；　you're　indulging　that　distorted　sense　of　humour　of　yours　again。　That　isn't　in　the　paper？〃
　〃Yes；　sir。　Very　large　headlines。〃
　Jimmy　groaned。
　〃Bayliss；　I'll　give　you　a　piece　of　advice　which　may　be　useful　to　you　when　you　grow　up。　Never　go　about　with　newspaper　men。　It　all　es　back　to　me。　Out　of　pure　kindness　of　heart　I　took　young　Bill　Blake　of　the　Sun　to　supper　at　the　Six　Hundred　last　night。　This　is　my　reward。　I　suppose　he　thinks　it　funny。　Newspaper　men　are　a　low　lot；　Bayliss。〃
　〃Shall　I　go　on；　sir？〃
　〃Most　doubtless。　Let　me　hear　all。〃
　Bayliss　resumed。　He　was　one　of　those　readers　who；　whether　their　subject　be　a　murder　case　or　a　funny　anecdote；　adopt　a　measured　and　sepulchral　delivery　which　gives　a　suggestion　of　tragedy　and　horror　to　whatever　they　read。　At　the　church　which　he　attended　on　Sundays；　of　which　he　was　one　of　the　most　influential　and　respected　members；　children　would　turn　pale　and　snuggle　up　to　their　mothers　when　Bayliss　read　the　lessons。　Young　Mr。　Blake's　account　of　the　overnight　proceedings　at　the　Six　Hundred　Club　he　rendered　with　a　gloomy　gusto　more　marked　even　than　his　wont。　It　had　a　topical　interest　for　him　which　urged　him　to　extend　himself。
　〃At　an　early　hour　this　morning；　when　our　myriad　readers　were　enjoying　that　refreshing　and　brain…restoring　sleep　so　necessary　to　the　proper　appreciation　of　the　Daily　Sun　at　the　breakfast　table；　one　of　the　most　interesting　sporting　events　of　the　season　was　being　pulled　off　at　the　Six　Hundred　Club　in　Regent　Street；　where；　after　three　rounds　of　fast　exchanges；　James　B。　Crocker；　the　well…known　American　welter…weight　scrapper；　succeeded　in　stopping　Lord　Percy　Whipple；　second　son　of　the　Duke　of　Devizes；　better　known　as　the　Pride　of　Old　England。　Once　again　the　superiority　of　the　American　over　the　English　style　of　boxing　was　demonstrated。　Battling　Percy　has　a　kind　heart；　but　Cyclone　Jim　packs　the　punch。〃
　〃The　immediate　cause　of　the　encounter　had　to　do　with　a　disputed　table；　which　each　gladiator　claimed　to　have　engaged　in　advance　over　the　telephone。〃
　〃I　begin　to　remember；〃　said　Jimmy　meditatively。　〃A　pill　with　butter…coloured　hair　tried　to　jump　my　claim。　Honeyed　words　proving　fruitless；　I　soaked　him　on　the　jaw。　It　may　be　that　I　was　not　wholly　myself。　I　seem　to　remember　an　animated　session　at　the　Empire　earlier　in　the　evening；　which　may　have　impaired　m