if.thespywholovedme-第9章

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a　living　out　of　them。　So　I　went　to　work　by　day　and　cried　by　night　and　I　became　the　most　willing　horse　on　the　paper。　I　made　tea　for　the　staff；　attended　the　funerals　and　got　the　lists　of　the　mourners　right；　wrote　spiky　paragraphs　for　the　gossip　page；　ran　the　petition　column；　and　even　checked　the　clues　of　the　crossword　before　it　went　into　type。　And；　in　between；　I　hustled　round　the　neighborhood；　charming　ads　out　of　the　most　hardbitten　shops　and　hotels　and　restaurants　and　piling　up　my　twenty…per…cents　with　the　tough　old　Scotswoman　who　kept　the　accounts。　Soon　I　was　making　good　money…twelve　to　twenty　pounds　a　week…and　the　editor　thought　he　would　economize　by　stabilizing　me　at　a　salary　of　fifteen；　so　he　installed　me　in　a　cubbyhole　next　to　him　and　I　became　his　editorial　assistant；　which　apparently　carried　with　it　the　privilege　of　sleeping　with　him。　But　at　the　first　pinch　of　my　behind　I　told　him　that　I　was　engaged　to　a　man　in　Canada；　and；　when　I　said　it；　I　looked　him　so　furiously　in　the　eye　that　he　got　the　message　and　left　me　alone。　I　liked　him；　and　from　then　on　we　got　on　fine。　He　was　an　ex…Beaverbrook　reporter　called　Len　Holbrook；　who　had　e　into　some　money　and　had　decided　to　go　into　business　for　himself。　He　was　a　Welshman　and；　like　all　of　them；　something　of　an　idealist。　He　had　decided　that　if　he　couldn't　change　the　world　he　would　at　least　make　a　start　on　Chelsea；　and　he　bought　the　broken…down　Clarion　and　started　laying　about　him。　He　had　a　tip…off　on　the　Council　and　another　in　the　local　Labour　Party　organization；　and　he　got　off　to　a　flying　start　when　he　revealed　that　a　jerry…builder　had　got　the　contract　for　a　new　block　of　Council　flats　and　that　he　wasn't　building　to　specification…not　putting　enough　steel　in　the　concrete　or　something。　The　Nationals　picked　up　the　story；　with　tongs　because　It　stank　of　libel；　and；　as　luck　would　have　it；　cracks　began　to　appear　in　the　uprights；　and　pictures　got　taken。　There　was　an　inquiry；　the　builder　lost　his　contract　and　his　license；　and　the　Clarion　put　a　red　Saint　George　and　Dragon　on　its　masthead。　There　were　other　campaigns；　like　the　ones　I　mentioned　earlier；　and　suddenly　people　were　reading　the　little　paper　and　it　put　on　more　pages　and　soon　had　a　circulation　of　around　forty　thousand　and　the　Nationals　were　regularly　stealing　its　stories　and　giving　it　an　occasional　plug　in　exchange。
　Well；　I　settled　down　in　my　new　job　as　〃Assistant　to　the　Editor；〃　and　I　was　given　more　writing　to　do　and　less　leg…work；　and　in　due　course；　after　I　had　been　there　for　a　year；　I　graduated　to　a　by…line；　and　〃Vivienne　Michel〃　became　a　public　person　and　my　salary　went　up　to　twenty　guineas。　Len　liked　the　way　I　got　on　with　things　and　wasn't　afraid　of　people；　and　he　taught　me　a　lot　about　writing…　tricks　like　hooking　the　reader　with　your　lead　paragraph；　using　short　sentences；　avoiding　〃okay〃　English；　and；　above　all；　writing　about　people。　This　he　had　learned　from　the　Express；　and　he　was　always　drumming　it　into　my　head。　For　instance；　he　had　a　phobia　about　the　11　and　22　bus　services　and　he　was　always　chasing　them。　I　began　one　of　my　many　stories　about　them；　〃Conductors　on　the　Number　11　service　plain　that　they　have　to　work　to　too　tight　a　schedule　in　the　rush…hours。〃　Len　put　his　pencil　through　it。　〃People；　people；　people！　This　is　how　it　ought　to　go：　'Frank　Donaldson；　a　wideawake　young　man　of　twenty…seven；　has　a　wife；　Gracie；　and　two　children；　Bill；　six；　and　Emily；　five。　And　he　has　a　grouse。　〃I　haven't　seen　my　kids　in　the　evening　ever　since　the　summer　holidays；〃　he　told　me　in　the　neat　little　parlor　of　number　36　Bolton　Lane。　〃When　I　get　home　they're　always　in　bed。　You　see；　I'm　a　conductor；　on　the　11　route；　and　we've　been　running　an　hour　late　regular；　ever　since　the　new　schedules　came　in。〃　'　〃　Len　stopped。　〃See　what　I　mean？　There　are　people　driving　those　buses。　They're　more　interesting　than　the　buses。　Now　you　go　out　and　find　a　Frank　Donaldson　and　make　that　story　of　yours　e　alive。〃　Cheap　stuff；　I　suppose；　corny　angles；　but　that's　journalism；　and　I　was　in　the　trade　and　I　did　what　he　told　me　and　my　copy　began　to　draw　the　letters…from　the　Donaldsons　of　the　neighborhood　and　their　wives　and　their　mates。　And　editors　seem　to　love　letters。　They　make　a　paper　look　busy　and　read。
　I　stayed　with　the　Clarion　another　two　years；　until　I　was　just　over　twenty…one；　and　by　then　I　was　getting　offers　from　the　Nationals；　from　the　Express　and　the　Mail；　and　it　seemed　to　me　it　was　time　to　get　out　of　S。W。3　and　into　the　world。　I　was　still　living　with　Susan。　She　had　got　a　job　with　the　Foreign　Office　in　something　called　〃munications；〃　about　which　she　was　very　secretive；　and　she　had　a　boy…friend　from　the　same　department；　and　I　knew　it　wouldn't　be　long　before　they　got　engaged　and　she　would　want　the　whole　flat。　My　own　private　life　was　a　vacuum…a　business　of　drifting　friendships　and　semi…flirtations　from　which　I　always　recoiled；　and　I　was　in　danger　of　being　a　hard；　if　successful；　little　career　girl；　smoking　too　many　cigarettes　and　drinking　too　many　vodkas　and　tonics　and　eating　alone　out　of　tins。　My　gods；　or　rather　goddesses　（Katharine　Whitehorne　and　Penelope　Gilliatt　were　outside　my　orbit）；　were　Drusilla　Beyfus；　Veronica　Papworth；　Jean　Campbell；　Shirley　Lord；　Barbara　Griggs；　and　Anne　Sharpley…the　top　women　journalists…and　I　only　wanted　to　be　as　good　as　any　of　them　and　nothing　else　in　the　world。
　And　then；　at　a　press　show　in　aid　of　a　Baroque　Festival　in　Munich；　I　met　Kurt　Rainer　of　the　V。W。Z。
　　
　Five：　A　Bird　With　a　Wing　Down
　
　THE　rain　was　still　crashing　down；　its　violence　unchanged。　The　eight…o'clock　news　continued　its　talk　of　havoc　and　disaster…a　multiple　crash　on　Route　9；　railway　tracks　flooded　at　Schenectady；　traffic　at　a　standstill　in　Troy；　heavy　rain　likely　to　continue　for　several　hours。　American　life　is　pletely　dislocated　by　storms　and　snow　and　hurricanes。　When　American　automobiles　can't　move；　life　es　to　a　halt；　and　when　their　famous　schedules　can't　be　met　they　panic　and　go　into　a　kind　of　paroxysm　of　frustration；　besieging　railway　stations；　jamming　the　long…distance　wires；　keeping　their　radios　permanently　switched　on　for　any　crumb　of　fort。　I　could　imagine　the　chaos　on　the　roads　and　in　the　cities；　and　I　hugged　my　cozy　solitude　to　me。
　My　drink　was　nearly　dead。　I　kept　it　just　alive　with　some　more　ice　cubes；　lit　another　cigarette；　and　settled　down　again　in　my　chair　while　a　disk　jockey　announced　half　an　hour　of　Dixieland　jazz。
　Kurt　hadn't　liked　jazz。　He　thought　it　decadent。　He　also　stopped　me　smoking　and　drinking　and　using　lipstick；　and　life　became　a　serious　business　of　art　galleries　and　concerts　and　lecture　halls。　As　a　contrast　to　my　meaningless；　rather　empty　life；　it　was　a　wele　change　and　I　dare　say　the　diet　of　Teutonism　appealed　to　the　rather　heavy　seriousness　that　underlies　the　Canadian　character。
　V。W。Z。；　the　Verband　Westdeutscher　Zeitungen；　was　an　independent　news　agency　financed　by　a　cooperative　of　West　German　newspapers　rather　on　the　lines　of　Reuter's。　Kurt　Rainer　was　its　first　representative　in　London　and　when　I　met　him　he　was　on　the　lookout　for　an　English　Number　Two　to　read　the　papers　and　weeklies　for　items　of　German　interest　while　he　did　the　high…level　diplomatic　stuff　and　covered　outside　assignments。　He　took　me　out　to　dinner　that　night；　to　Schmidt's　in　Charlotte　Street；　and　was　rather　charmingly　serious　about　the　importance　of　his　job　and　how　much　it　might　mean　for　Anglo…German　relationships。　He　was　a　powerfully　built；　outdoor　type　of　young　man　whose　bright　fair　hair　and　candid　blue　eyes　made　him　look　younger　than　his　thirty　years。　He　told　me　that　he　came　from　Augsburg；　near　Munich；　and　that　he　was　an　only　child　of　parents　who　were　both　doctors　and　had　both　been　rescued　from　a　concentration　camp　by　the　Americans。　They　had　been　informed　on　and　arrested　for　listening　to　the　Allied　radio　and　for　preventing　young　Kurt　from　joining　the　Hitler　Youth　Movement。　He　had　been　educated　at　Munich　High　School　and　at　the　University；　and　had　then　gone　into　journalism；　graduating　to　Die　Welt；　the　leading　West　German　newspaper；　from　which　he　had　been　chosen　for　this　London　job　because　of　his　good　English。　He　asked　me　what　I　did；　and　the　next　day　I　went　round　to　his　two…room　office　in　Chancery　Lane　and　showed　him　some　of　my　work。　With　typical　thoroughness　he　had　alread