if.thespywholovedme-第30章

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ttening　himself　against　its　wall　and　edging　round。　I　just　lay　and　stared；　aghast…another　literary　word；　but　an　accurate　one…at　the　jagged　remains　of　the　window　and　remembered　the　glistening；　horrible　turnip　head　that　must　have　been　a　ghost。
　James　Bond　came　back。　He　didn't　say　a　word。　The　first　thing　he　did　was　to　get　me　a　glass　of　water。　The　prosaic　action；　the　first　thing　a　parent　does　when　the　child　has　nightmares；　brought　back　the　room　and　its　familiar　shapes　from　the　black　and　red　cave　of　the　ghosts　and　the　guns。　Then　he　fetched　a　bath　towel　and　put　a　chair　under　the　smashed　window　and　climbed　on　it　and　draped　the　towel　over　the　window。
　I　was　suddenly　conscious　of　the　muscles　that　bunched　and　relaxed　in　his　naked　body　and　I　was　amused　at　how　odd　a　man　looks　without　any　clothes　on　when　he　is　not　making　love　but　just　moving　about　a　room　doing　kind　of　household　chores。　I　thought　that　perhaps　one　ought　to　be　a　nudist。　But　perhaps　only　under　forty。　I　said；　〃James；　don't　ever　get　fat。〃
　He　had　fixed　the　towel　as　a　curtain。　He　got　down　off　the　chair　and　said　absent…mindedly；　〃No。　That's　right。　One　shouldn't　get　fat。〃
　He　put　the　chair　tidily　back　beside　the　desk　where　it　belonged　and　picked　up　his　gun　that　he　had　put　down　on　the　desk。　He　examined　the　gun。　He　went　to　his　small　pile　of　clothes　and　took　out　a　new　clip　and　substituted　it　for　the　old　one　and　came　over　to　the　bed　and　slipped　the　gun　under　his　pillow。
　Now　I　realized　why　he　had　lain　like　that；　with　his　right　hand　doubled　under　the　pillow。　I　guessed　that　he　always　slept　like　that。　I　thought　his　must　be　rather　like　a　fireman's　life；　always　waiting　for　a　call。　I　thought　how　extraordinary　it　must　be　to　have　danger　as　your　business。
　He　came　and　sat　down　on　the　edge　of　my　side　of　the　bed。　In　the　filtering　scraps　of　light　his　face　looked　drawn　and　sort　of　blasted；　as　if　by　shock。　He　tried　to　smile；　but　the　tense　muscles　wouldn't　let　him　and　it　was　only　a　crooked　sketch　of　a　smile。　He　said；　〃I　nearly　got　us　both　killed　again。　I'm　sorry；　Viv。　I　must　be　losing　my　touch。　If　I　go　on　like　this　I'm　going　to　catch　trouble。　When　the　car　went　into　the　lake；　remember　a　bit　of　the　roof　and　the　rear　window　was　left　sticking　out　of　the　water？　Well；　there　was　obviously　plenty　of　air　trapped　in　that　corner。　I　was　a　damned　fool　not　to　have　worked　that　out　for　myself。　This　fellow　Sluggsy　only　needed　to　knock　out　the　rear　window　and　swim　ashore。　He　was　hit　several　times。　It　must　have　been　hard　going　for　him。　But　he　got　to　our　cabin。　We　ought　to　be　dead　ducks。　Don't　go　round　the　back　in　the　morning。　He's　not　a　pretty　sight。〃　He　looked　at　me　for　reassurance。　〃Anyway；　I'm　sorry；　Viv。　It　ought　never　to　have　happened。〃
　I　scrambled　off　the　bed　and　went　and　put　my　arms　round　him。　His　body　was　cold。　I　hugged　him　to　me　and　kissed　him。　〃Don't　be　silly；　James！　If　it　wasn't　for　me；　you　wouldn't　have　got　into　all　this　mess。　And　where　would　I　be　now　if　it　wasn't　for　you？　I'd　not　only　have　been　a　dead　duck；　but　a　roasted　one　too；　hours　ago。　The　trouble　with　you　is　you　haven't　had　enough　sleep。　And　you're　cold。　e　into　bed　with　me。　I'll　keep　you　warm。〃　I　got　up　and　pulled　him　to　his　feet。
　He　caught　me　to　him。　He　reached　down　with　both　hands　and　pressed　my　body　hard　into　his。　He　held　me　like　that　for　a　time；　quite　still；　and　I　felt　the　way　his　body　was　gaining　warmth　from　mine。　Then　he　lifted　me　up　and　laid　me　softly　back　on　the　bed。　And　then　he　took　me　fiercely；　almost　cruelly；　and　once　again　there　came　the　small　scream　from　someone　who　was　no　longer　me　and　then　we　were　lying　side　by　side　and　his　heart　was　pounding　wildly　against　my　breast　and　I　found　that　my　right　hand　was　clenched　in　his　hair。
　I　relaxed　my　cramped　fingers　and　reached　down　for　his　hand。　I　said；　〃James；　what's　a　bimbo？〃
　〃Why？〃
　〃I'll　tell　you　when　you've　told　me。〃
　He　laughed　sleepily。　〃It's　gangster　language　for　a　whore。〃
　〃I　thought　it　was　something　like　that。　They　kept　on　calling　me　that。　I　suppose　it　must　really　be　true。〃
　〃You　don't　qualify。〃
　〃Promise　you　don't　think　I'm　a　bimbo？〃
　〃Promise。　You're　just　a　darling　chick。　I'm　cow…simple　about　you。〃
　〃What's　that　mean？〃
　〃It　means　crazy　for　a　girl。　Now；　that's　enough　questions。　Go　to　sleep。〃　He　kissed　me　gently　and　turned　over　on　his　side。
　I　curled　up　against　him；　fitting　myself　close　in　to　his　back　and　thighs。　〃This　is　a　nice　way　to　sleep…like　spoons。　Good　night；　James。〃
　〃Good　night；　darling　Viv。〃
　　
　Fifteen：　The　Writing　on　My　Heart
　
　THOSE　were　the　last　words　he　spoke　to　me。　When　I　woke　up　the　next　morning　he　was　gone。　There　was　only　the　dent　down　the　bed　where　he　had　lain；　and　the　smell　of　him　on　the　pillow。　To　make　sure；　I　jumped　out　of　bed　and　ran　to　see　if　the　gray　car　was　still　there。　It　wasn't。
　It　was　a　beautiful　day　and　there　was　heavy　dew　on　the　ground；　and　in　the　dew　I　could　see　the　single　track　of　his　footprints　leading　to　where　the　car　had　been。　A　bobolink　flew　crying　across　the　clearing；　and　from　somewhere　in　the　trees　came　the　dying　call　of　a　mourning　dove。
　The　ruins　of　the　motel　were　black　and　hideous；　and　a　ghostly　wisp　of　smoke　rose　straight　up　into　the　still　air　from　the　remains　of　the　lobby　block。　I　went　back　into　the　cabin　and　had　a　shower　and　began　briskly　to　pack　my　things　into　my　two　saddlebags。　Then　I　saw　the　letter　on　the　dressing　table　and　I　went　and　sat　on　the　bed　and　read　it。
　It　was　written　on　motel　paper　from　the　writing　desk。　The　writing　was　very　clear　and　even；　and　he　had　used　a　real　pen　and　not　a　ball…point。
　Dear　Viv；
　You　may　have　to　show　this　to　the　police；　so　I　will　be　businesslike。　I　am　on　my　way　to　Glens　Falls；　where　I　will　make　a　full　report　to　the　police　after　telling　the　Highway　Patrol　to　get　to　you　immediately。　I　will　also　get　in　touch　with　Washington　and　they　will　almost　certainly　put　Albany　in　charge　of　the　case。　I　shall　pull　every　string　to　see　that　you　are　not　worried　too　much　and　that　they　let　you　go　on　your　way　after　getting　your　statement。　Glens　Falls　will　have　my　route　and　the　registration　number　of　the　car；　and　they　will　be　able　to　pick　me　up；　wherever　I　am；　if　you　need　any　help　or　they　want　to　know　anything　more　from　me。　You　won't　be　able　to　get　any　breakfast　so　I　shall　have　the　Patrol　bring　you　a　Thermos　of　coffee　and　sandwiches　to　keep　you　alive。　I　would　much　like　to　stay　with　you；　if　only　to　see　Mr。　Sanguinetti！　But　I　very　much　doubt　if　he　will　be　turning　up　this　morning。　I　guess　that　when　he　heard　nothing　from　his　two　strong…arm　boys　he　went　like　hell　to　Albany　and　got　on　the　first　plane　for　the　south　on　his　way　out　to　Mexico。　I　shall　tell　Washington　that　that's　my　guess　and　they　should　be　able　to　pick　him　up　if　they　get　a　move　on。　He　should　get　life　for　this；　or　what's　known　as　〃from　now　on；〃　or　〃The　Rosary；〃　in　the　language　we've　been　learning。　And　now　listen。　You；　and　up　to　a　point　me；　have　saved　the　insurance　pany　at　least　half　a　million　dollars；　and　there'll　be　a　big　reward。　I'm　not　allowed　to　accept　rewards　by　the　rules　of　my　job；　so　there's　no　argument　about　that；　even　if　it　weren't　a　fact　that　it　was　you　who　took　the　principal　burden　of　all　this　and　it's　you　who　are　the　heroine。　So　I'm　going　to　make　a　real　issue　of　this　and　see　that　the　insurance　pany　does　the　right　thing。　And　something　else。　I　wouldn't　be　at　all　surprised　if　one　or　both　of　those　hoodlums　wasn't　wanted　by　the　police　and　has　a　reward　on　his　head。　I'll　see　to　that　too。　As　for　the　future；　drive　very　carefully　the　rest　of　the　way。　And　don't　have　nightmares。　These　sort　of　things　don't　often　happen。　Treat　it　all　as　just　a　bad　motor　accident　you　were　lucky　to　get　out　of。　And　go　on　being　as　wonderful　as　you　are。　If　you　ever　want　me　or　need　any　help；　wherever　you　are；　you　can　get　me　by　letter　or　cable；　but　not　by　telephone；　c/o　Ministry　of　Defence；　Storey's　Gate；　London；　S。W。　1。
　Ever；　J。B。
　PS。　Your　tyre　pressures　are　too　high　for　the　South。
　Remember　to　take　them　down。
　PPS。　Try　Guerlain's　〃Fleurs　des　Alpes〃　instead　of　Camay！
　
　*　*　*
　
　I　heard　the　roar　of　motorcycles　ing　up　the　road。　When　they　stopped；　there　was　the　brief　wail　of　a　siren　to　announce　who　they　were。　I　put　the　letter　inside　the　front　of　my　overalls　and　pulled　up　the　zip　and　went　out　to　meet　the　Law。
　They　were　two　state　tr