if.thespywholovedme-第17章

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awer　open　and　lined　up　beside　it　a　row　of　glasses　and　cups　for　throwing。　Childish？　It　was　all　I　had。
　Every　now　and　then　I　glanced　across　the　room。　Always　the　thin　man's　eyes　were　on　me；　old　in　crime　and　its　counter…moves；　knowing　what　was　in　my　mind；　what　defenses　I　was　preparing。　I　sensed　this；　but　I　went　on　with　my　little　preparations；　thinking；　as　I　Lad　at　the　English　school；　When　they　hurt　me；　and　I　know　they're　meaning　to　hurt　me；　I　must　somehow　hurt　them　back。　When　they　get　me；　rape　me；　kill　me；　they　mustn't　find　it　easy。
　Rape？　Kill？　What　did　I　think　was　really　going　to　happen　to　me？　I　didn't　know。　1　only　knew　that　I　was　in　desperate　trouble。　The　men's　faces　said　so…the　indifferent　face　and　the　greedy　face。　They　both　had　it　in　for　me。　Why？　I　didn't　know。　But　I　was　absolutely　certain　of　it。
　I　had　broken　eight　eggs　into　a　bowl　and　had　whipped　them　gently　with　a　fork。　The　huge　chunk　of　butter　had　melted　in　the　saucepan。　Beside　it；　in　the　frying　pan；　the　bacon　was　beginning　to　sizzle。　I　poured　the　eggs　into　the　saucepan　and　began　to　stir。　While　my　hands　concentrated；　my　mind　was　busy　on　ways　to　escape。　Everything　depended　on　whether　the　man　called　Sluggsy；　when　he　came　back　from　his　inspection；　remembered　to　lock　the　back　door。　If　he　didn't；　I　could　make　a　dash　for　it。　There　would　be　no　question　of　using　the　Vespa。　I　hadn't　run　it　for　a　week。　Priming　the　carburetor；　and　the　three　kicks　that　might　be　necessary　to　start　it　from　cold；　would　be　too　long。　I　would　have　to　leave　my　belongings；　all　my　precious　money；　and　just　go　like　a　hare　to　right　or　left；　get　round　the　end　of　the　cabins　and　in　among　the　trees。　I　reflected　that　of　course　I　wouldn't　run　to　the　right。　The　lake　behind　the　cabins　would　narrow　my　escape　route。　I　would　run　to　the　left。　There；　there　was　nothing　but　miles　of　trees。　I　would　be　soaked　to　the　skin　within　a　few　yards　of　the　door；　and　freezing　cold　for　the　rest　of　the　night。　My　feet；　in　their　stupid　little　sandals；　would　be　cut　to　ribbons。　I　might　easily　get　lost　into　the　bargain。　But　those　were　problems　I　would　have　to　cope　with。　The　main　thing　was　to　get　away　from　these　men。　Nothing　else　mattered。
　The　eggs　were　ready　and　I　heaped　them　out；　still　very　soft；　onto　a　flat　dish　and　added　the　bacon　round　the　sides。　I　put　the　pile　of　toast　from　the　Toastmaster　on　another　plate；　together　with　a　slab　of　butter　still　in　its　paper；　and　put　the　whole　lot　on　a　tray。　I　was　glad　to　see　that　plenty　of　dust　rose　to　the　top　when　I　poured　boiling　water　over　the　coffee；　and　I　hoped　it　would　choke　them。　Then　I　carried　the　tray　out　from　behind　the　bar　and；　feeling　more　respectable　in　my　apron；　took　it　over　to　where　the　thin　man　was　sitting。
　As　I　put　it　down；　I　heard　the　back　door　open　and　then　slam　shut。　There　had　been　no　click　of　a　lock。　I　looked　quickly　round。　Sluggsy's　hands　were　empty。　My　heart　began　to　beat　wildly。　Sluggsy　came　over　to　the　table。　I　was　taking　things　off　the　tray。　He　looked　the　meal　over　and　came　swiftly　behind　me　and　seized　me　round　the　waist；　nuzzling　his　ghastly　face　into　my　neck。　〃Just　like　mother　made　'em；　baby。　Howsabout　you　and　me　shacking　up　together？　If　you　can…　like　you　can　cook；　you're　the　gal　of　my　dreams。　What　say；　bimbo？　Is　it　a　deal？〃
　I　had　my　hand　on　the　coffee　pot；　and　he　was　just　going　to　get　the　boiling　contents　slung　over　my　shoulder。　Horror　saw　my　intention。　He　said　sharply；　〃Leave　her　be；　Sluggsy。　I　said　later。〃　The　words　came　out　like　a　whiplash；　and　at　once　Sluggsy　let　me　go。　The　thin　man　said；　〃Ya　nearly　got　ya　eyeballs　fried。　Ya　want　to　watch　this　dame。　Quit　foolin'　around　and　sit　down。　We're　on　a　job。〃
　Sluggsy's　face　showed　bravado；　but　also　obedience。　〃Have　a　heart；　pal！　I　want　a　piece　of　this　baby。　But　now！〃　But　he　pulled　out　a　chair　and　sat　down；　and　I　moved　quickly　away。
　The　big　radio　and　TV　was　on　a　pedestal　near　the　back　door。　It　had　been　playing　softly　all　this　time；　although　I　had　been　quite　unconscious　of　it。　I　went　to　the　machine　and　fiddled　with　the　dials；　putting　the　volume　up。　The　two　men　were　talking　to　each　other　quietly　and　there　was　the　clatter　of　cutlery。　Now　or　never！　I　measured　my　distance　to　the　door　handle　and　dived　to　the　left。
　　
　Nine：　Then　I　Began　to　Scream
　
　I　HEARD　a　single　bullet　crash　into　the　metal　frame　of　the　door；　and　then；　with　my　hand　cushioning　the　ice…pick　so　it　didn't　stick　into　me；　I　was　running　hell　for　leather　across　the　wet　grass。　Mercifully　the　rain　had　let　up；　but　the　grass　was　soaking　and　slippery　under　my　hopeless　flat　soles；　and　I　knew　1　wasn't　making　enough　speed。　I　heard　a　door　crash　open　behind　me；　and　Sluggsy's　voice　shouted；　〃Hold　it；　or　you're　cold　turkey！〃　I　began　to　weave；　but　then　the　shots　came；　carefully；　evenly　spaced；　and　bees　whipped　past　me　and　slapped　into　the　grass。　Another　ten　yards　and　I　would　be　at　the　corner　of　the　cabins　and　out　of　the　light。　I　dodged　and　zigzagged；　my　skin　quivering　as　it　waited　for　the　bullet。　A　window　in　the　last　cabin　tinkled　with　broken　glass；　and　I　was　round　the　corner。　As　I　dived　into　the　soaking　wood　I　heard　a　car　start　up。　What　was　that　for？
　It　was　terrible　going。　The　dripping　pines　were　thick　together；　their　branches　overlapping；　and　they　tore　at　the　arms　crossed　over　my　face。　It　was　black　as　pitch　and　I　couldn't　see　a　yard　ahead。　And　then　suddenly　I　could；　and　I　sobbed　as　I　realized　what　the　car　was　for；　for　now　its　blazing　headlights　were　holding　me　from　the　edge　of　the　trees。　As　I　tried　to　dodge　the　searching　eyes；　I　heard　the　engine　rev　to　aim　the　car　and　immediately　they　had　me　again。　There　was　no　room　for　maneuver　and　I　just　had　to　make　headway　in　whatever　direction　the　trees　allowed　me。　When　would　the　shooting　start　up　again？　I　was　a　bare　thirty　yards　inside　the　forest。　It　would　be　any　minute　now！　My　breath　was　sobbing　out　of　my　throat。　My　clothes　had　begun　to　tear；　and　I　could　feel　bruises　ing　on　my　feet。　I　knew　I　couldn't　hold　out　much　longer。　I　would　just　have　to　find　the　thickest　tree　and　try　and　lose　the　lights　for　a　minute　and　crawl　in　under　the　tree　and　hide。　But　why　no　bullets？　I　stumbled　away　to　the　right；　found　brief　darkness；　and　dived　to　my　knees　among　the　soaking　pine　needles。　There　was　a　tree　like　any　other；　its　branches　sweeping　the　ground；　and　I　crawled　in　under　them　and　up　against　the　trunk　and　waited　for　the　rasping　of　my　breath　to　quieten　down。
　And　then　I　heard　one　of　them　ing　in　after　me；　not　softly　because　that　was　impossible；　but　steadily；　and　stopping　every　now　and　then　to　listen。　By　now　the　man；　whichever　it　was；　must　realize　from　the　silence　that　I　had　gone　to　ground。　If　he　knew　anything　about　tracking；　he　would　soon　find　where　the　broken　branches　and　scuffed　earth　stopped。　Then　it　would　only　be　a　question　of　time。　I　softly　squirmed　round　to　the　back　of　the　tree；　away　from　him；　and　watched　the　lights　from　the　car　hold　steady　in　the　glistening　wet　branches　above　my　head。
　The　feet　and　the　snapping　twigs　were　ing　nearer。　Now　I　could　hear　the　heavy　breathing。　Sluggsy's　voice；　very　near；　said　softly；　〃e　on　out；　baby。　Or　poppa　spank　real　hard。　Da　game　of　tag　is　over。　Time　to　e　home　to　poppa。〃
　The　small　eye　of　a　flashlight　began　searching　under　the　trees；　carefully；　tree　by　tree。　He　knew　I　was　only　a　few　yards　away。　Then　the　light　stopped　and　held　steady　under　my　tree。　Sluggsy　said　softly；　delightedly；　〃Hi；　baby！　Poppa　find！〃
　Had　he？　I　lay　still；　hardly　breathing。
　There　came　the　roar　and　flame　of　a　single　shot；　and　the　bullet　smacked　into　the　tree…trunk　behind　my　head。　〃That's　just　a　hastener；　baby。　Next　time　it　takes　your　little　footsie　off。〃
　So　that　was　what　showed！　I　said；　weary　with　fright；　〃All　right。　I'll　e。　But　don't　shoot！〃　And　I　scrambled　out　on　all　fours；　thinking　hysterically；　This　is　a　fine　way　to　go　to　your　execution；　Viv！
　The　man　stood　there；　his　pale　head　fretted　with　yellow　light　and　black　shadows。　His　gun　was　pointed　at　my　stomach。　He　waved　it　sideways。　〃Okay。　Get　ahead　of　me。　An'　if　you　don't　keep　moving；　you'll　get　a　root　in　that　sweet　little　keister　of　yours。〃
　I　stumbled　ignominiously　through　the　trees　toward　the　distant；　glaring　eyes　of　the　car。　Hopelessness　had　me　by　the　throat；　and　an　ache　of　self…pity。　What　had　I　done　to　deserve　this？　Why　had　God　picked　on　me　as　a　victim　for　these　two　unk