sk.everythingseventual-第79章

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　　'Humboldt；'　I　said。　'Party　of　three。'　I　found　I　couldn't　take　my　eyes　off　his　bow…tie；　so　crooked　that　the　left　side　of　it　was　almost　brushing　the　shelf　under　his　chin；　and　that　blob　on　his　snowy…white　dress　shirt。　Now　that　I　was　closer；　it　didn't　look　like　either　gravy　or　jelly；　it　looked　like　partially　dried　blood。
　　He　was　looking　down　at　his　reservations　book；　the　rogue　tuft　at　the　back　of　his　head　waving　back　and　forth　over　the　rest　of　his　slicked…down　hair。　I　could　see　his　scalp　through　the　grooves　his　b　had　laid　down；　and　a　speckle　of　dandruff　on　the　shoulders　of　his　tux。　It　occurred　to　me　that　a　good　headwaiter　might　have　fired　an　underling　put　together　in　such　sloppy　fashion。
　　'Ah；　yes；　monsieur。'　（Ah　yais；　messoo。）　He　had　found　the　name。　'Your　party　is…'　He　was　starting　to　look　up。　He　stopped　abruptly；　and　his　eyes　sharpened　even　more；　if　that　was　possible；　as　he　looked　past　me　and　down。　'You　cannot　bring　that　dog　in　here；'　he　said　sharply。　'How　many　times　have　I　told　you　you　can't　bring　that　dog　in　here！'
　　He　didn't　quite　shout；　but　spoke　so　loudly　that　several　of　the　diners　closest　to　his　pulpit…like　desk　stopped　eating　and　looked　around　curiously。
　　I　looked　around　myself。　He　had　been　so　emphatic　I　expected　to　see　somebody's　dog；　but　there　was　no　one　behind　me　and　most　certainly　no　dog。　It　occurred　to　me　then；　I　don't　know　why；　that　he　was　talking　about　my　umbrella；　that　perhaps　on　the　Island　of　the　Ma？tre　D's；　dog　was　a　slang　term　for　umbrella；　especially　when　carried　by　a　patron　on　a　day　when　rain　did　not　seem　likely。
　　I　looked　back　at　the　ma？tre　d'　and　saw　that　he　had　already　started　away　from　his　desk；　holding　my　menu　in　his　hands。　He　must　have　sensed　that　I　wasn't　following；　because　he　looked　back　over　his　shoulder；　eyebrows　slightly　raised。　There　was　nothing　on　his　face　now　but　polite　enquiry…Are　you　ing；　messoo？…and　I　came。　I　knew　something　was　wrong　with　him；　but　I　came。　I　could　not　take　the　time　or　effort　to　try　to　decide　what　might　be　wrong　with　the　ma？tre　d'　of　a　restaurant　where　I　had　never　been　before　today　and　where　I　would　probably　never　be　again；　I　had　Humboldt　and　Diane　to　deal　with；　I　had　to　do　it　without　smoking；　and　the　ma？tre　d'　of　the　Gotham　Café　would　have　to　take　care　of　his　own　problems；　dog　included。
　　
　　Diane　turned　around　and　at　first　I　saw　nothing　in　her　face　and　in　her　eyes　but　a　kind　of　frozen　politeness。　Then；　just　below　it；　I　saw　anger；　or　thought　I　did。　We'd　done　a　lot　of　arguing　during　our　last　three　or　four　months　together；　but　I　couldn't　recall　ever　seeing　the　sort　of　concealed　anger　I　sensed　in　her　now；　anger　that　was　meant　to　be　hidden　by　the　makeup　and　the　new　dress　（blue；　no　speckles；　no　slit　up　the　side）　and　the　new　hairdo。　The　heavyset　man　she　was　with　was　saying　something；　and　she　reached　out　and　touched　his　arm。　As　he　turned　toward　me；　beginning　to　get　to　his　feet；　I　saw　something　else　in　her　face。　She　was　afraid　of　me　as　well　as　angry　with　me。　And　although　she　hadn't　said　a　single　word；　I　was　already　furious　at　her。　Everything　on　her　face　and　in　her　eyes　was　negative；　she　might　as　well　have　been　wearing　a　CLOSED　UNTIL　FURTHER　NOTICE　sign　on　her　forehead。　I　thought　I　deserved　better。
　　'Monsieur；'　the　ma？tre　d'　said；　pulling　out　the　chair　to　Diane's　left。　I　barely　heard　him；　and　certainly　any　thought　of　his　eccentric　behavior　and　crooked　bow…tie　had　left　my　head。　I　think　that　even　the　subject　of　tobacco　had　briefly　vacated　my　head　for　the　first　time　since　I'd　quit　smoking。　I　could　only　consider　the　careful　posure　of　her　face　and　marvel　at　how　I　could　be　angry　with　her　and　still　want　her　so　much　it　made　me　ache　to　look　at　her。　Absence　may　or　may　not　make　the　heart　grow　fonder；　but　it　certainly　freshens　the　eye。
　　I　also　found　time　to　wonder　if　I　had　really　seen　all　I'd　surmised。　Anger？　Yes；　that　was　possible；　even　likely。　If　she　hadn't　been　angry　with　me　to　at　least　some　degree；　she　never　would　have　left　in　the　first　place；　I　supposed。　But　afraid？　Why　in　God's　name　would　Diane　be　afraid　of　me？　I'd　never　laid　a　single　finger　on　her。　Yes；　I　suppose　I　had　raised　my　voice　during　some　of　our　arguments；　but　so　had　she。
　　'Enjoy　your　lunch；　monsieur；'　the　ma？tre　d'　said　from　some　other　universe…the　one　where　service　people　usually　stay；　only　poking　their　heads　into　ours　when　we　call　them；　either　because　we　need　something　or　to　plain。
　　'Mr。　Davis；　I'm　Bill　Humboldt；'　Diane's　panion　said。　He　held　out　a　large　hand　that　looked　reddish　and　chapped。　I　shook　it　briefly。　The　rest　of　him　was　as　big　as　his　hand；　and　his　broad　face　wore　the　sort　of　flush　habitual　drinkers　often　get　after　the　first　one　of　the　day。　I　put　him　in　his　mid…forties；　about　ten　years　away　from　the　time　when　his　sagging　cheeks　would　turn　into　jowls。
　　'Pleasure；'　I　said；　not　thinking　about　what　I　was　saying　any　more　than　I　was　thinking　about　the　ma？tre　d'　with　the　blob　on　his　shirt；　only　wanting　to　get　the　hand…shaking　part　over　so　I　could　turn　back　to　the　pretty　blonde　with　the　rose…and…cream　plexion；　the　pale　pink　lips；　and　the　trim；　slim　figure。　The　woman　who　had；　not　so　long　ago；　liked　to　whisper　'Do　me　do　me　do　me'　in　my　ear　while　she　held　onto　my　ass　like　a　saddle　with　two　pommels。
　　'Where　is　Mr。　Ring？'　Humboldt　asked；　looking　around　（a　bit　theatrically；　I　thought）。
　　'Mr。　Ring　is　on　his　way　to　Long　Island。　His　mother　fell　downstairs　and　broke　her　hip。'
　　'Oh；　wonderful；'　Humboldt　said。　He　picked　up　the　half…finished　martini　in　front　of　him　on　the　table　and　drained　it　until　the　olive　with　the　toothpick　in　it　rested　against　his　lips。　He　spat　it　back；　then　set　the　glass　down　and　looked　at　me。　'And　I　bet　I　can　guess　what　he　told　you。'
　　I　heard　this　but　paid　no　attention。　For　the　time　being；　Humboldt　was　no　more　important　than　minor　static　on　a　radio　program　you　really　want　to　hear。　I　looked　at　Diane　instead。　It　was　marvellous；　really；　how　she　looked　smarter　and　prettier　than　previous。　As　if　she　had　learned　things…yes；　even　after　only　two　weeks　of　separation；　and　while　living　with　Ernie　and　Dee　Dee　Coslaw　in　Pound　Ridge…that　I　could　never　know。
　　'How　are　you；　Steve？'　she　asked。
　　'Fine；'　I　said。　Then；　'Not　so　fine；　actually。　I've　missed　you。'
　　Only　watchful　silence　from　the　lady　greeted　this。　Those　big　blue…green　eyes　looking　at　me；　no　more。　Certainly　no　return　serve；　no　I've　missed　you；　too。
　　'And　I　quit　smoking。　That's　also　played　hell　with　my　peace　of　mind。'
　　'Did　you；　finally？　Good　for　you。'
　　I　felt　another　flash　of　anger；　this　time　a　really　ugly　one；　at　her　politely　dismissive　tone。　As　if　I　might　not　be　telling　the　truth；　but　it　didn't　really　matter　if　I　was。　She'd　carped　at　me　about　the　cigarettes　every　day　for　two　years；　it　seemed…how　they　were　going　to　give　me　cancer；　how　they　were　going　to　give　her　cancer；　how　she　wouldn't　even　consider　getting　pregnant　until　I　stopped；　so　I　could　just　save　any　breath　I　might　have　been　planning　to　waste　on　that　subject…and　now　all　at　once　it　didn't　matter　anymore；　because　I　didn't　matter　anymore。
　　'We　have　a　little　business　to　transact；'　Humboldt　said。　'If　you　don't　mind；　that　is。'
　　There　was　one　of　those　big；　boxy　lawyer　suitcases　on　the　floor　beside　him。　He　picked　it　up　with　a　grunt　and　set　it　on　the　chair　where　my　lawyer　would　have　been　if　his　mother　hadn't　broken　her　hip。　Humboldt　began　unsnapping　the　clasps；　but　I　quit　paying　attention　at　that　point。　The　fact　was；　I　did　mind。　It　wasn't　a　matter　of　caution；　either；　it　was　a　matter　of　priorities。　I　felt　an　instant's　gratitude　that　Ring　had　been　called　away。　It　had　certainly　clarified　the　issues。
　　I　looked　at　Diane　and　said；　'I　want　to　try　again。　Can　we　reconcile？　Is　there　any　chance　of　that？'
　　The　look　of　absolute　horror　on　her　face　crashed　hopes　I　hadn't　even　known　I'd　been　holding　onto。　Instead　of　answering；　she　looked　past　me　at　Humboldt。
　　'You　said　we　didn't　have　to　talk　about　this！'　Her　voice　was　trembling；　accusatory。　'You　said　you　wouldn't　even　let　it　e　up！'
　　Humboldt　looked　a　little　flustered。　He　shrugged　and　glanced　briefly　down　at　his　empty　martini　glass　before　looking　back　up　at　Diane。　I　think　he　was　wishing　he'd　ordered　a　double。　'I　didn't　know　Mr。　Davis　would　be　attending　this　meeting　without　his　lawyer。　You