sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第41章

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　I　think　she's　in　the　wrong　business。〃　
　Toby　picked　up　Jill　that　evening　to　take　her　to　a　dinner　being　given　for　a　celebrated　English　director　who　had　just　arrived　in　Hollywood。　Jill　had　been　looking　forward　to　it。　She　opened　the　door　for　Toby　and　the　moment　he　entered　she　knew　that　something　was　wrong。　
　〃You　heard　some　news　about　my　test；〃　she　said。　
　He　nodded　reluctantly。　〃I　talked　to　Sam　Winters。〃　He　told　her　what　Sam　had　said；　trying　to　soften　the　blow。　Jill　stood　there　listening；　not　saying　a　word。　She　had　been　so　sure。　The　part　had　felt　so　right。　Out　of　nowhere　came　the　memory　of　the　gold　cup　in　the　department…store　window。　The　little　girl　had　ached　with　the　wanting　and　the　loss；　Jill　felt　the　same　feeling　of　despair　now。　Toby　was　saying；　
　〃Look；　honey；　don't　worry　about　it。　Winters　doesn't　know　what　he's　talking　about。〃　
　But　he　did　know！　She　was　not　going　to　make　it。　All　the　agony　and　the　pain　and　the　hope　had　been　for　nothing。　It　was　as　though　her　mother　had　been　right　and　a　vengeful　God　was　punishing　Jill　for　she　knew　not　what。　She　could　hear　the　preacher　screaming。　See　that　little　girl？　She　will　burn　in　Hell　for　her　sins　if　she　does　not　give　her　soul　up　to　God　and　repent。　She　had　e　to　this　town　with　love　and　dreams；　and　the　town　had　degraded　her。　She　was　overe　with　an　unbearable　feeling　of　sadness　and　she　was　not　even　aware　that　she　was　sobbing　until　she　felt　Toby's　arm　around　her。　
　〃Sh！　It's　all　right；〃　he　said；　and　his　gentleness　made　her　cry　still　the　harder。　She　stood　there　while　he　held　her　in　his　arms　and　she　told　him　about　her　father　dying　when　she　was　born；　and　about　the　gold　cup　and　the　Holy　Rollers　and　the　headaches　and　the　nights　filled　with　terror　while　she　waited　for　God　to　strike　her　dead。　She　told　him　about　the　endless；　dreary　jobs　she　had　taken　in　order　to　bee　an　actress　and　the　series　of　failures。　Some　deep…rooted　instinct　kept　her　from　mentioning　the　men　in　her　life。　Although　she　had　started　out　playing　a　game　with　Toby；　she　was　now　beyond　pretense。　It　was　in　this　moment　of　her　naked　vulnerability　that　she　reached　him。　She　touched　a　chord　deep　within　him　that　no　one　else　had　ever　struck。　He　took　out　his　pocket　handkerchief　and　dried　her　tears。　
　〃Hey；　if　you　think　you　had　it　tough；〃　he　said；　〃listen　to　this。　My　old　man　was　a　butcher　and。。。〃　
　They　talked　until　three　o'clock　in　the　morning。　It　was　the　first　time　in　his　life　Toby　had　talked　to　a　girl　as　a　human　being。　He　understood　her。　How　could　he　not；　she　was　him。　Neither　of　them　ever　knew　who　made　the　first　move。　What　had　started　as　a　gentle；　understanding　forting　slowly　became　a　sensual；　animal　wanting。　They　were　kissing　hungrily；　and　he　was　holding　her　tightly。　She　could　feel　his　maleness　pressing　against　her。　She　needed　him　and　he　was　taking　off　her　clothes；　and　she　was　helping　him　and　then　he　was　naked　in　the　dark　beside　her；　and　there　was　an　urgency　in　both　of　them。　They　went　to　the　floor。　Toby　entered　her　and　Jill　moaned　once　at　the　enormous　size　of　him；　and　Toby　started　to　withdraw。　She　pulled　him　closer　to　her；　holding　him　fiercely。　He　began　to　make　love　to　her　then；　filling　her；　pleting　her；　making　her　body　whole。　It　was　gentle　and　loving　and　it　kept　building　and　became　frantic　and　demanding　and　suddenly　it　was　beyond　that。　It　was　an　ecstasy；　an　unbearable　rapture；　a　mindless　animal　coupling；　and　Jill　was　screaming；　〃Love　me；　Toby！　Love　me；　love　me！〃　His　pounding　body　was　on　her；　in　her；　was　part　of　her；　and　they　were　one。　
　They　made　love　all　night　and　talked　and　laughed；　and　it　was　as　though　they　had　belonged　together　always。　If　Toby　had　thought　he　cared　for　Jill　before；　he　was　insane　about　her　now。　They　lay　in　bed；　and　he　held　her　in　his　arms　protectively；　and　he　thought　wonderingly。　This　is　what　love　is。　He　turned　to　gaze　at　her。　She　looked　warm　and　disheveled　and　breathtakingly　beautiful；　and　he　had　never　loved　anyone　so　much。　He　said；　
　〃I　want　to　marry〃you。〃　It　was　the　most　natural　thing　in　the　world。　
　She　hugged　him　tightly　and　said；　〃Oh；　yes；　Toby。〃　
　She　loved　him　and　she　was　going　to　marry　him。　And　it　was　not　until　hours　later　that　Jill　remembered　why　all　this　had　started　in　the　first　place。　She　had　wanted　Toby's　power。　She　had　wanted　to　pay　back　all　the　people　who　had　used　her；　hurt　her；　degraded　her。　She　had　wanted　vengeance。　Now　she　was　going　to　have　it。　
　
　Clifton　Lawrence　was　in　trouble。　In　a　way；　he　supposed；　it　was　his　own　fault　for　letting　things　get　this　far。　He　was　seated　at　Toby's　bar；　and　Toby　was　saying；　
　〃I　proposed　to　her　this　morning；　Cliff；　and　she　said　yes。　I　feel　like　a　sixteenyear…old　kid。〃　
　Clifton　tried　not　to　let　the　shock　show　on　his　face。　He　had　to　be　extremely　careful　about　the　way　he　handled　this。　He　knew　one　thing：　he　could　not　let　that　little　tramp　marry　Toby　Temple。　The　moment　the　wedding　announcement　was　made；　every　cocks　man　in　Hollywood　would　crawl　out　of　the　woodwork；　announcing　that　he　had　gotten　in　there　first。　It　was　a　miracle　that　Toby　had　not　found　out　about　Jill　before　now；　but　it　could　not　be　kept　from　him　forever。　When　he　learned　the　truth；　Toby　would　kill。　He　would　lash　out　at　everyone　around　him；　everyone　who　had　let　this　happen　to　him；　and　Clifton　Lawrence　would　be　the　first　to　feel　the　brunt　of　Toby's　rage。　No；　Clifton　could　not　let　this　marriage　take　place。　He　was　tempted　to　point　out　that　Toby　was　twenty　years　older　than　Jill；　but　he　checked　himself。　He　looked　over　at　Toby　and　said　cautiously；　
　〃It　might　be　a　mistake　to　rush　things。　It　takes　a　long　time　to　really　get　to　know　a　person。　You　might　change　your　〃　
　Toby　brushed　it　aside。　〃You're　gonna　be　my　best　man。　You　think　we　should　have　the　wedding　here　or　up　in　Vegas？〃　
　Clifton　knew　that　he　was　wasting　his　breath。　There　was　only　one　way　to　prevent　this　disaster　from　happening。　He　had　to　find　a　way　to　stop　Jill。　
　That　afternoon；　the　little　agent　telephoned　Jill　and　asked　her　to　e　to　his　office。　She　arrived　an　hour　late；　gave　him　a　cheek　to　kiss；　sat　down　on　the　edge　of　the　couch　and　said；　
　〃I　haven't　much　time。　I'm　meeting　Toby。〃　
　〃This　won't　take　long。〃　
　Clifton　studied　her。　It　was　a　different　Jill。　She　bore　almost　no　resemblance　to　the　girl　he　had　first　met　a　few　months　ago。　There　was　a　confidence　about　her　now；　an　assurance　that　she　had　not　had　earlier。　Well；　he　had　dealt　with　girls　like　her　before。　
　〃Jill；　I'm　going　to　lay　it　on　the　line；〃　Clifton　said。　〃You're　bad　for　Toby。　I　want　you　to　get　out　of　Hollywood。〃　He　took　a　white　envelope　out　of　a　drawer。　〃Here's　five　thousand　dollars　cash。　That's　enough　to　take　you　anywhere　you　want　to　go。〃　
　She　stared　at　him　a　moment；　a　surprised　expression　on　her　face；　then　leaned　back　on　the　couch　and　began　to　laugh。　
　〃I'm　not　joking；〃　Clifton　Lawrence　said。　〃Do　you　think　Toby　would　marry　you　if　he　found　out　you've　laid　everybody　in　town？〃　
　She　regarded　Clifton　for　a　long　moment。　She　wanted　to　tell　him　that　he　was　responsible　for　everything　that　had　happened　to　her。　He　and　all　the　other　people　in　power　who　had　refused　to　give　her　a　chance。　They　had　made　her　pay　with　her　body；　her　pride；　her　soul。　But　she　knew　there　was　no　way　she　could　ever　make　him　understand。　He　was　trying　to　bluff　her。　He　would　not　dare　tell　Toby　about　her；　it　would　be　Lawrence's　word　against　hers。　Jill　rose　to　her　feet　and　walked　out　of　the　office。　One　hour　later；　Clifton　received　a　call　from　Toby。　Clifton　had　never　heard　Toby　sound　so　excited。　
　〃I　don't　know　what　you　said　to　Jill；　pal；　but　I　have　to　hand　it　to　you　she　can't　wait。　We're　on　our　way　to　Las　Vegas　to　get　married！〃　
　
　
　The　Lear　jet　was　thirty…five　miles　from　the　Los　Angeles　International　Airport；　flying　at　250　knots。　David　Kenyon　made　contact　with　the　LAX　approach　control　and　gave　them　his　position。　David　was　exhilarated。　He　was　on　his　way　to　Jill。　Cissy　had　recovered　from　most　of　her　injuries　suffered　in　the　automobile　accident；　but　her　face　had　been　badly　lacerated。　David　had　sent　her　to　the　best　plastic　surgeon　in　the　world；　a　doctor　in　Brazil。　She　had　been　gone　for　six　weeks；　during　which　time　she　had　been　sending　him　glowing　reports　about　the　doctor。　Twenty…four　hours　ago；　David　had　received　a　telephone　call　from　Cissy；　saying　she　was　not　returning。　She　had　fallen　in　love。　David