sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第22章

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　As　long　as　you're　good　to　Millie　。。。　And　Toby　turned　all　the　women　away。　
　〃I'm　in　love　with　my　wife；〃　he　would　say　shyly。　And　they　believed　him　and　admired　him　for　it；　and　the　word　spread；　as　Toby　meant　it　to　spread：　Toby　Temple　did　not　fool　around；　he　was　a　real　family　man。　But　the　lovely；　nubile　young　girls　kept　ing　after　him；　and　the　more　Toby　refused；　the　more　they　wanted　him。　And　Toby　was　so　hungry　for　a　woman　that　he　was　in　constant　physical　pain。　His　groin　ached　so　much　that　sometimes　it　was　difficult　for　him　to　work。　He　started　to　masturbate　again。　Each　time　he　did；　he　thought　of　all　the　beautiful　girls　waiting　to　go　to　bed　with　him；　and　he　cursed　and　raged　against　fate。　Because　Toby　could　not　have　it；　sex　was　on　his　mind　all　the　time。　Whenever　he　returned　home　after　a　tour；　Millie　was　waiting　for　him；　eager　and　loving　and　ready。　And　the　moment　Toby　saw　her；　all　his　sexual　desire　drained　away。　She　was　the　enemy；　and　Toby　despised　her　for　what　she　was　doing　to　him。　He　forced　himself　to　go　to　bed　with　her；　but　it　was　Al　Caruso　he　was　satisfying。　Whenever　Toby　took　Millie；　it　was　with　a　savage　brutality　that　forced　gasps　of　pain　from　her。　He　pretended　that　he　thought　they　were　sounds　of　pleasure；　and　he　pounded　into　her　harder　and　harder；　until　finally　he　came　in　an　explosion　of　fury　that　poured　his　venomous　semen　into　her。　He　was　not　making　love。　He　was　making　hate。　
　
　In　June；　1950；　the　North　Koreans　moved　across　the　38th　Parallel　and　attacked　the　South　Koreans；　and　President　Truman　ordered　United　States　troops　in。　No　matter　what　the　rest　of　the　world　thought　about　it；　to　Toby　the　Korean　War　was　the　best　thing　that　ever　happened。　In　early　December；　there　was　an　announcement　in　Daily　Variety　that　Bob　Hope　was　getting　ready　to　make　a　Christmas　tour　to　entertain　the　troops　in　Seoul。　Thirty　seconds　after　he　
　〃What　for？　You're　almost　thirty　years　old。　Believe　me；　dear　boy；　those　tours　are　no　fun。　I　〃　
　〃I　don't　give　a　damn　whether　they're　fun　or　not；〃　Toby　shouted　into　the　phone。　〃Those　soldiers　are　out　there　risking　their　lives。　The　least　I　can　do　is　give　them　a　few　laughs。〃　
　It　was　a　side　of　Toby　Temple　that　Clifton　had　not　seen　before。　He　was　touched　and　pleased。　
　〃Okay。　If　you　feel　that　strongly　about　it；　I'll　see　what　I　can　do；〃　Clifton　promised。　
　An　hour　later　he　called　Toby　back。　
　〃I　talked　to　Bob。　He'd　be　happy　to　have　you。　But　if　you　should　change　your　mind　〃　
　〃No　chance；〃　Toby　said；　hanging　up。　
　Clifton　Lawrence　sat　there　a　long　time；　thinking　about　Toby。　He　was　very　proud　of　him。　Toby　was　a　wonderful　human　being；　and　Clifton　Lawrence　was　delighted　to　be　his　agent；　delighted　to　be　the　man　helping　to　shape　his　growing　career。　
　Toby　played　Taegu　and　Pusan　and　Chonju；　and　he　found　solace　in　the　laughter　of　the　soldiers。　Millie　faded　into　the　background　of　his　mind。　Then　Christmas　was　over。　Instead　of　returning　home；　Toby　went　to　Guam。　The　boys　there　loved　him。　He　went　to　Tokyo　and　entertained　the　wounded　in　the　army　hospital。　But　finally；　it　was　time　to　return　home。　
　In　April；　when　Toby　came　back　from　a　ten…week　tour　in　the　Midwest；　Millie　was　waiting　at　the　airport　for　him。　Her　first　words　were；　
　〃Darling　　I'm　going　to　have　a　baby！　〃　
　He　stared　at　her；　stunned。　She　mistook　his　expression　for　happiness。　
　〃Isn't　it　wonderful？〃　she　exclaimed。　〃Now；　when　you're　away；　I'll　have　the　baby　to　keep　me　pany。　I　hope　it's　a　boy　so　that　you　can　take　him　to　baseball　games　and　。。。〃　
　Toby　did　not　hear　the　rest　of　the　stupidities　she　was　mouthing。　It　was　as　though　her　words　were　being　filtered　from　far　away。　Somewhere　in　the　back　of　his　mind；　Toby　had　believed　that　someday；　somehow；　there　would　be　an　escape　for　him。　They　had　been　married　two　years；　and　it　seemed　like　an　eternity。　Now　this。　Millie　would　never　let　him　go。　Never。　
　
　The　baby　was　due　around　Christmas　time。　Toby　had　made　arrangements　to　go　to　Guam　with　a　troupe　of　entertainers；　but　he　had　no　idea　whether　Al　Caruso　would　approve　of　his　being　away　while　Millie　was　having　the　baby。　There　was　'only　one　way　to　find　out。　Toby　called　Las　Vegas。　Caruso's　cheerful；　familiar　voice　came　on　the　line　immediately　and　said；　
　〃Hi；　kid。　Good　to　hear　your　voice。〃　
　〃It's　good　to　hear　yours；　Al。〃　
　〃I　hear　you're　gonna　be　a　father。　You　must　be　real　excited。〃　
　〃Excited　isn't　the　word　for　it；〃　Toby　said　truthfully。　He　let　his　voice　take　on　a　note　of　careful　concern。　〃That's　the　reason　I'm　calling　you；　Al。　The　baby's　going　to　be　born　around　Christmas；　and〃　He　had　to　be　very　careful。　〃I　don't　know　what　to　do。　I　want　to　be　here　with　Millie　when　the　kid's　born；　but　they　asked　me　to　go　back　to　Korea　and　Guam　to　entertain　the　troops。〃　
　There　was　a　long　pause。　〃That's　a　tough　spot。〃　
　〃I　don't　want　to　let　our　boys　down；　but　I　don't　want　to　hurt　Millie　down；　either。〃　
　〃Yeah。〃　There　was　another　pause。　Then；　〃I'll　tell　you　'what　I　think；　kid。　We're　all　good　Americans；　right？　Those　kids　are　out　there　fighting　for　us；　right？〃　
　Toby　felt　his　body　suddenly　relax。　〃Sure。　But　I　hate　to〃　
　〃Millie'll　be　okay；〃　Caruso　said。　〃Women　have　been　havin'　babies　a　hell　of　a　long　time。　You　go　to　Korea。〃　
　Six　weeks　later；　on　Christmas　Eve；　as　Toby　walked　off　a　stage　to　thunderous　applause　at　the　army　post　in　Pusan；　he　was　handed　a　cable；　informing　him　that　Millie　had　died　while　giving　birth　to　a　stillborn　son。　
　
　
　〃Marco！　〃　she　called　out。　There　was　a　chorus　of　〃Polo！〃　Josephine　made　a　dive　for　the　nearest　voice。　She　felt　around　in　the　water。　There　was　no　one　there。　〃Marco！〃　she　called。　Again；　a　chorus　of　〃Polo！〃　She　made　a　blind　grab　but　reached　only　thin　air。　It　did　not　matter　to　Josephine　that　they　were　faster　than　she　she　wanted　this　game　to　go　on　forever；　as　she　wanted　this　day　to　last　until　eternity。　She　stood　still；　straining　to　hear　a　splash；　a　giggle；　a　whisper。　She　moved　around　in　the　pool；　eyes　closed；　hands　outstretched；　and　reached　the　steps。　She　took　a　step　up　to　quiet　the　sound　of　her　own　movements。　〃Marco！　〃　she　called　out。　And　there　was　no　answer。　She　stood　there；　still。　〃Marco！〃　Silence。　It　was　as　though　she　were　in　a　warm；　wet　deserted　where　were　no　one。　They　were　playing　a　trick　on　her。　They　had　decided　that　no　one　would　answer　her。　Josephine　smiled　and　opened　her　eyes。　She　was　alone　on　the　pool　steps。　Something　made　her　look　down。　The　bottom　of　her　white　bathing　suit　was　stained　with　red；　and　there　was　a　thin　trickle　of　blood　ing　from　between　her　thighs。　The　children　were　all　standing　on　the　sides　of　the　pool；　staring　at　her。　Josephine　looked　up　at　them；　stricken。　
　〃I　　〃　She　stopped；　not　knowing　what　to　say。　She　quickly　moved　down　the　steps　into　the　water；　to　cover　her　shame。　
　〃We　don't　do　that　in　the　swimming　pool；〃　Mary　Lou　said。　
　〃Polacks　do；〃　someone　giggled。　
　〃Hey；　let's　go　take　a　shower。〃　
　〃Yeah。　I　feel　icky。〃　
　〃Who　wants　to　swim　in　that〃　
　Josephine　closed　her　eyes　again　and　heard　them　all　moving　toward　the　poolhouse；　leaving　her。　She　stayed　there；　keeping　her　eyes　squeezed　closed；　pressing　her　legs　together　to　try　to　stop　the　shameful　flow。　She　had　never　had　her　period　before。　It　had　been　totally　unexpected。　They　would　all　e　back　in　a　moment　and　tell　her　that　they　had　only　been　teasing；　that　they　were　still　her　friends；　that　the　happiness　would　never　stop。　They　would　return　and　explain　that　it　was　all　a　game。　Perhaps　they　were　back　already　ready　to　play。　Eyes　tightly　shut；　she　whispered；　〃Marco〃；　and　the　echo　died　on　the　afternoon　air。　
　She　had　no　idea　how　long　she　stood　there　in　the　water　with　her　eyes　closed。　We　don't　do　that　in　the　swimming　pool。　Polacks　do。　Her　head　had　begun　pounding　violently。　She　felt　nauseous；　and　her　stomach　was　suddenly　cramping。　But　Josephine　knew　that　she　must　keep　standing　there　with　her　eyes　tightly　shut。　Just　until　they　returned　and　told　her　it　was　a　joke。　
　She　heard　footsteps　…　and　a　rustling　sound　above　her　and　she　suddenly　knew　that　everything　was　all　right。　They　had　e　back。　She　opened　her　eyes　and　looked　up。　David；　Mary　Lou's　older　brother；　was　standing　at　the　side　of　the　pool；　a　terrycloth　robe　in　his　hands。　
　〃I　apologize　for　all　of　them；〃　he　said；　his　voice　tight。　He　held　out　the　robe。　〃Here。　e　out　and　put　this　on。〃　
　But　Josephine　closed