ib.thewaspfactory-第4章

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e　bastard！　Bastard！'
　　
　　'All　right；　Eric；　I'm　sorry；　I'm　sorry；'　I　said　as　quickly　as　I　could。　'I　just　want　you　to　be　OK；　be　careful。　Don't　do　anything　to　antagonise　people；　you　know？　People　can　be　awful　sensitive　。。。'
　　
　　'Well　。。。；'　I　could　hear　him　say。　I　listened　to　him　breathing；　then　his　voice　changed。　'Yeah；　I'm　ing　back　home。　Just　for　a　short　while；　to　see　how　you　both　are。　I　suppose　it's　just　you　and　the　old　man？'
　　
　　'Yes；　just　the　two　of　us。　I'm　looking　forward　to　seeing　you。'
　　
　　'Oh；　good。'　There　was　a　pause。　'Why　don't　you　ever　e　to　visit　me？'
　　
　　'I。。。　I　thought　Father　was　down　to　see　you　at　Christmas。'
　　
　　'Was　he？　Well　。。。　but　why　don't　you　ever　e？'　He　sounded　plaintive。　I　shifted　my　weight　on　to　my　other　foot；　looked　around　the　landing　and　up　the　stairs；　half…expecting　to　see　my　father　leaning　over　the　banister　rail；　or　to　see　his　shadow　on　the　wall　of　the　landing　above；　where　he　thought　he　could　hide　and　listen　to　my　phone　calls　without　me　knowing。
　　
　　'I　don't　like　leaving　the　island　for　that　long；　Eric。　I'm　sorry；　but　I　get　this　horrible　feeling　in　my　stomach；　as　though　there's　a　great　big　knot　in　it。　I　just　can't　go　that　far　away；　not　overnight　or。。。　I　just　can't。　I　want　to　see　you；　but　you're　so　far　away。'
　　
　　'I'm　getting　closer。'　He　sounded　confident　again。
　　
　　'Good。　How　far　away　are　you？'
　　
　　'Not　telling　you。'
　　
　　'I　told　you　my　lucky　number。'
　　
　　'I　lied。　I'm　still　not　going　to　tell　you　where　I　am。'
　　
　　'That's　not…'
　　
　　'Well；　I'll　hang　up　now。'
　　
　　'You　don't　want　to　talk　to　Dad？'
　　
　　'Not　yet。　I'll　talk　to　him　later；　when　I'm　a　lot　closer。　I'm　going　now。　See　you。　Take　care。'
　　
　　'You　take　care。'
　　
　　'What's　to　worry　about？　I'll　be　all　right。　What　can　happen　to　me？'
　　
　　'Just　don't　do　anything　to　annoy　people。　You　know；　I　mean；　they　get　angry。　About　pets　especially。　I　mean；　I'm　not…'
　　
　　'What？　What？　What　was　that　about　pets？'　he　shouted。
　　
　　'Nothing！　I　was　just　saying…'
　　
　　'You　little　shit！'　he　screamed。　'You're　accusing　me　of　burning　dogs　again；　aren't　you？　And　I　suppose　I　stick　worms　and　maggots　into　kids'　mouths　and　piss　on　them；　too；　eh？'　he　shrieked。
　　
　　'Well；'　I　said　carefully；　toying　with　the　flex；　'now　you　mention　it…'
　　
　　'Bastard！　Bastard！　You　little　shit！　I'll　kill　you！　You…'　His　voice　disappeared；　and　I　had　to　put　the　phone　away　from　my　ear　again　as　he　started　to　hammer　the　handset　against　the　walls　of　the　call…box。　The　succession　of　loud　clunks　sounded　over　the　calm　pips　as　his　money　ran　out。　I　put　the　phone　back　in　the　cradle。
　　
　　I　looked　up；　but　there　was　still　no　sign　of　Father。　I　crept　up　the　stairs　and　stuck　my　head　between　the　banisters；　but　the　landing　was　empty。　I　sighed　and　sat　down　on　the　stairs。　I　got　the　feeling　I　hadn't　handled　Eric　very　well　over　the　phone。　I'm　not　very　good　with　people　and；　even　though　Eric　is　my　brother；　I　haven't　seen　him　for　over　two　years；　since　he　went　crazy。
　　
　　I　got　up　and　went　back　down　to　the　kitchen　to　lock　up　and　get　my　gear；　then　I　went　to　the　bathroom。　I　decided　to　watch　the　television　in　my　room；　or　listen　to　the　radio；　and　get　to　sleep　early　so　I　could　be　up　just　after　dawn　to　catch　a　wasp　for　the　Factory。
　　
　　I　lay　on　my　bed　listening　to　John　Peel　on　the　radio　and　the　noise　of　the　wind　round　the　house　and　the　surf　on　the　beach。　Beneath　my　bed　my　home…brew　gave　off　a　yeasty　smell。
　　
　　I　thought　again　of　the　Sacrifice　Poles；　more　deliberately　this　time；　picturing　each　one　in　turn；　remembering　their　positions　and　their　ponents；　seeing　in　my　mind　what　those　sightless　eyes　looked　out　to；　and　flicking　through　each　view　like　a　security　guard　changing　cameras　on　a　monitor　screen。　I　felt　nothing　amiss；　all　seemed　well。　My　dead　sentries；　those　extensions　of　me　which　came　under　my　power　through　the　simple　but　ultimate　surrender　of　death；　sensed　nothing　to　harm　me　or　the　island。
　　
　　I　opened　my　eyes　and　put　the　bedside　light　back　on。　I　looked　at　myself　in　the　mirror　on　the　dressing…table　over　on　the　other　side　of　the　room。　I　was　lying　on　top　of　the　bed…covers；　naked　apart　from　my　underpants。
　　
　　I'm　too　fat。　It　isn't　that　bad；　and　it　isn't　my　fault…but；　all　the　same；　I　don't　look　the　way　I'd　like　to　look。　Chubby；　that's　me。　Strong　and　fit；　but　still　too　plump。　I　want　to　look　dark　and　menacing；　the　way　I　ought　to　look；　the　way　I　should　look；　the　way　I　might　have　looked　if　I　hadn't　had　my　little　accident。　Looking　at　me；　you'd　never　guess　I'd　killed　three　people。　It　isn't　fair。
　　
　　I　switched　the　light　out　again。　The　room　was　totally　dark；　not　even　the　starlight　showing　while　my　eyes　adjusted。　Perhaps　I　would　ask　for　one　of　those　LED　alarm　radios；　though　I'm　very　fond　of　my　old　brass　alarm　clock。　Once　I　tied　a　wasp　to　the　striking…surface　of　each　of　the　copper…coloured　bells　on　the　top；　where　the　little　hammer　would　hit　them　in　the　morning　when　the　alarm　went　off。
　　
　　I　always　wake　up　before　the　alarm　goes；　so　I　got　to　watch。
　　
　　　
　　　2：　The　Snake　Park
　　
　　
　　I　TOOK　the　little　cinder　that　was　the　remains　of　the　wasp　and　put　it　into　a　matchbox；　wrapped　in　an　old　photograph　of　Eric　with　my　father。　In　the　picture　my　father　was　holding　a　portrait…sized　photograph　of　his　first　wife；　Eric's　mother；　and　she　was　the　only　one　who　was　smiling。　My　father　was　staring　at　the　camera　looking　morose。　The　young　Eric　was　looking　away　and　picking　his　nose；　looking　bored。
　　
　　The　morning　was　fresh　and　cold。　I　could　see　mist　over　the　forests　below　the　mountains；　and　fog　out　over　the　North　Sea。　I　ran　hard　and　fast　along　the　wet　sand　where　it　was　good　and　firm；　making　a　jet　noise　with　my　mouth　and　holding　my　binoculars　and　bag　down　tight　to　my　sides。　When　I　got　level　with　the　Bunker　I　banked　inland；　slowing　as　I　hit　the　soft　white　sand　further　up　the　beach。　I　checked　the　flotsam　and　jetsam　as　I　swept　over　it；　but　there　was　nothing　interesting…looking；　nothing　worth　salvaging；　just　an　old　jellyfish；　a　purple　mass　with　four　pale　rings　inside。　I　altered　course　slightly　to　overfly　it；　going　'Trrrrrfffaow！　Trrrrrrrrrrrrrfffaow！'　and　kicking　it　on　the　run；　blasting　a　dirty　fountain　of　sand　and　jelly　up　and　around　me。　'Puchrrt！'　went　the　noise　of　the　explosion。　I　banked　again　and　headed　for　the　Bunker。
　　
　　The　Poles　were　in　good　repair。　I　didn't　need　the　bag　of　heads　and　bodies。　I　visited　them　all；　working　through　the　morning；　planting　the　dead　wasp　in　its　paper　coffin　not　between　two　of　the　more　important　Poles；　as　I　had　intended　originally；　but　under　the　path；　just　on　the　island　side　of　the　bridge。　While　I　was　there　I　climbed　up　the　suspension　cables　to　the　top　of　the　mainland　tower　and　looked　around。　I　could　see　the　top　of　the　house　and　one　of　the　skylights　over　the　loft。　I　could　also　see　the　spire　of　the　Church　of　Scotland　in　Porteneil；　and　some　smoke　ing　up　from　the　town　chimneys。　I　took　the　small　knife　from　my　left　breast　pocket　and　nicked　my　left　thumb　carefully。　I　smeared　the　red　stuff　over　the　top　of　the　main　beam　which　crosses　from　one　I…girder　to　the　other　on　the　tower；　then　wiped　my　small　wound　with　an　antiseptic　tissue　from　one　of　my　bags。　I　scrambled　back　down　after　that　and　retrieved　the　ball…bearing　I　had　hit　the　sign　with　the　day　before。
　　
　　The　first　Mrs　Cauldhame；　Mary；　who　was　Eric's　mother；　died　in　childbirth　in　the　house。　Eric's　head　was　too　big　for　her；　she　haemorrhaged　and　bled　to　death　on　the　marital　bed　back　in　I960。　Eric　has　suffered　from　quite　severe　migraine　all　his　life；　and　I　am　very　much　inclined　to　attribute　the　ailment　to　his　manner　of　entry　into　the　world。　The　whole　thing　about　his　　migraine　and　his　dead　mother　had；　I　think；　a　lot　to　do　with　What　Happened　To　Eric。　Poor　unlucky　soul；　he　was　just　in　the　wrong　place　at　the　wrong　time；　and　something　very　unlikely　happened　which　by　sheer　chance　mattered　more　to　him　than　anybody　else　it　could　have　happened　to。　But　that's　what　you　risk　when　you　leave　here。
　　
　　Thinking　about　it；　that　means　that　Eric　has　killed　somebody；　too。　I　had　thought　that　I　was　the　only　murderer　in　the　family；　but　old　Eric　beat　me　to　it；　killing　his　mum　before　he　had　ev