annr.pandora-第5章

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　think；　Books　lost　from　time。　Of　course　she　forbade　me　to　reveal　anything　I　found　or　speak　in　detail　of　our　meeting。　She　said　it　was　too　rash　tampering　with　things；　and　she　confirmed　your　fear　that　I　might　go　to　the　Talamasca　…　my　old　mortal　psychic　friends。　I　have　not。　I　will　not。　But　it　is　a　very　easy　vow　to　keep。〃
　〃Why　so？〃
　〃Pandora；　when　I　saw　all　those　old　writings　…　I　knew　I　was　no　longer　human。　I　knew　that　the　history　lying　there　to　be　collected　was　no　longer　mine！　I　am　not　one　of　these！〃　Your　eyes　swept　the　room。　〃Of　course　you　must　have　heard　this　a　thousand　times　from　fledgling　vampires！　But　you　see；　I　had　a　fervent　faith　that　philosophy　and　reason　would　make　a　bridge　for　me　by　which　I　could　go　and　e　in　both　worlds。　Well；　there　is　no　bridge。　It's　gone。〃
　Your　sadness　shimmered　about　you；　flashing　in　your　young　eyes　and　in　the　softness　of　your　new　flesh。
　〃So　you　know　that；〃　I　said。　I　didn't　plan　the　words。　But　out　they　came。　〃You　know。〃　I　gave　a　soft　bitter　laugh。
　〃Indeed　I　do。　I　knew　when　I　held　documents　from　your　time；　so　many　from　your　time；　Imperial　Rome；　and　other　crumbling　bits　of　inscribed　rock　I　couldn't　even　hope　to　place。　I　knew。　I　didn't　care　about　them；　Pandora！　I　care　about　what　we　are；　what　we　are　now。〃
　〃How　remarkable；〃　I　said。　〃You　don't　know　how　much　I　admire　you；　or　how　attractive　is　your　disposition　to　me。〃
　〃I　am　happy　to　hear　this；〃　you　said。　Then　you　leaned　forward　towards　me：　〃I　don't　say　we　do　not　carry　our　human　souls　with　us；　our　history；　of　course　we　do。
　〃I　remember　once　a　long　time　ago；　Armand　told　me　that　he　asked　Lestat；　'How　will　I　ever　understand　the　human　race？'　Lestat　said；　'Read　or　see　all　the　plays　of　Shakespeare　and　you　will　know　all　you　ever　need　to　know　about　the　human　race。'　Armand　did　it。　He　devoured　the　poems；　he　sat　through　the　plays；　he　watched　the　brilliant　new　films　with　Laurence　Fishburne　and　Kenneth　Branagh　and　Leonardo　DiCaprio。　And　when　Armand　and　I　last　spoke　together；　this　is　what　he　said　of　his　education：
　〃　'Lestat　was　right。　He　gave　me　not　books　but　a　passage　into　understanding。　This　man　Shakespeare　writes；'　…　and　I　quote　both　Armand　and　Shakespeare　now　as　Armand　spoke　it；　as　I　will　to　you　…　as　if　it　came　from　my　heart：
　
　Tomorrow；　and　tomorrow；　and　tomorrow；
　Creeps　in　this　petty　pace　from　day　to　day；
　To　the　last　syllable　of　recorded　time；
　And　all　our　yesterdays　have　lighted　fools
　The　way　to　dusty　death。　Out；　out　brief　candle。
　Life's　but　a　walking　shadow；　a　poor　player；
　That　struts　and　frets　his　hour　upon　the　stage；
　And　then　is　heard　no　more；　it　is　a　tale
　Told　by　an　idiot；　full　of　sound　and　fury；
　Signifying　nothing。
　
　〃　'This　man　writes　this；'　said　Armand　to　me；　'and　we　all　know　that　it　is　absolutely　the　truth　and　every　revelation　has　sooner　or　later　fallen　before　it；　and　yet　we　want　to　love　the　way　he　has　said　it；　we　want　to　hear　it　again！　We　want　to　remember　it！　We　want　to　never　forget　a　single　word。'　〃
　We　were　both　silent　for　a　moment。　You　looked　down；　you　rested　your　chin　on　your　knuckles。　I　knew　the　whole　weight　of　Armand's　going　into　the　sun　was　on　you；　and　I　had　so　loved　your　recitation　of　the　words；　and　the　words　themselves。
　Finally；　I　said；　〃And　this　gives　me　pleasure。　Think　of　it；　pleasure。　That　you　recite　these　words　to　me　now。〃
　You　smiled。
　〃I　want　to　know　now　what　we　can　learn；〃　you　said。　〃I　want　to　know　what　we　can　see！　So　I　e　to　you；　a　Child　of　the　Millennia；　a　vampire　who　drank　from　the　Queen　Akasha　herself；　one　who　has　survived　two　thousand　years。　And　I　ask　you；　Pandora；　please　will　you　write　for　me；　write　your　story；　write　what　you　will。〃
　For　a　long　moment　I　gave　you　no　answer。
　Then　I　said　sharply　that　I　could　not。　But　something　had　stirred　in　me。　I　saw　and　heard　arguments　and　tirades　of　centuries　ago；　I　saw　the　poet's　lifted　light　shine　on　eras　I　had　known　intimately　out　of　love。　Other　eras　I　had　never　known；　wandering；　ignorant；　a　wraith。
　Yes；　there　was　a　tale　to　be　written。　There　was。　But　at　the　moment　I　could　not　admit　it。
　You　were　in　misery；　having　thought　of　Armand；　having　remembered　his　walking　into　the　morning　sun。　You　mourned　for　Armand。
　〃Was　there　any　bond　between　you？〃　you　asked。　〃Forgive　me　my　boldness；　but　I　mean　was　there　any　bond　between　you　and　Armand　when　you　met；　because　Marius　had　given　you　both　the　Dark　Gift？　I　know　no　jealousy　exists；　that　I　can　feel；　I　wouldn't　bring　up　the　very　name　Armand　if　I　detected　a　hurt　in　you；　but　all　else　is　an　absence；　a　silence。　Was　there　no　bond'？〃
　〃The　bond　is　only　grief。　He　went　into　the　sun。　And　grief　is　absolutely　the　easiest　and　safest　of　bonds。〃
　You　laughed　under　your　breath。
　〃What　can　I　do　to　make　you　consider　my　request？　Have　pity　on　me；　Gracious　Lady；　entrust　to　me　your　song。〃
　I　smiled　indulgently；　but　it　was　impossible；　I　thought。
　〃It's　far　too　dissonant；　my　dear；〃　I　said。　〃It's　far　　too　…
　I　shut　my　eyes。
　I　had　wanted　to　say　that　my　song　was　far　too　painful　to　sing。
　Suddenly　your　eyes　moved　upwards。　Your　expression　changed。　It　was　almost　as　if　you　were　deliberately　trying　to　appear　to　enter　a　trance。　Slowly　you　turned　your　head。　You　pointed；　with　your　hand　close　to　the　table；　then　let　your　hand　go　lax
　〃What　is　it；　David？〃　I　said。　〃What　are　you　seeing？〃
　〃Spirits；　Pandora；　ghosts。〃
　You　shuddered　as　if　to　dear　your　head。
　〃But　that's　unheard　of；〃　I　said。　Yet　I　knew　that　he　was　telling　the　truth。　〃The　Dark　Gift　takes　away　that　power。　Even　the　ancient　witches；　Maharet　and　Mekare；　told　us　this；　that　once　Akasha's　blood　entered　them；　and　they　became　vampires；　they　never　heard　or　saw　the　spirits　again。　You've　recently　been　with　them。　Did　you　tell　them　of　this　power？〃
　He　nodded。　Obviously　some　loyalty　bound　him
　not　to　say　that　they　did　not　have　it。　But　I　knew　they
　did　not。　I　saw　it　in　his　mind；　and　I　had　known　it
　myself　when　I　had　encountered　the　ancient　twins；　the　twins　who　had　struck　down　the　Queen　of　the　Damned。
　〃I　can　see　spirits；　Pandora；〃　you　said　with　the　most　troubled　expression。　〃I　can　see　them　anywhere　if　I　try；　and　in　some　very　specific　places　when　they　choose。　Lestat　saw　the　ghost　of　Roger；　his　victim　in　Memnoch　the　Devil。〃
　〃But　that　was　an　exception；　a　surge　of　love　in　…　the　man's　soul　that　somehow　defied　death；　or　delayed　the　soul's　termination　…　something　we　can't　understand。〃
　〃I　see　spirits；　but　I　haven't　e　to　burden　you　with　this　or　frighten　you。〃
　〃You　must　tell　me　more　about　this；〃　I　said。　〃What　did　you　see　right　now？〃
　〃A　weak　spirit。　It　couldn't　harm　anyone。　It's　one　of　those　sad　humans　who　does　not　know　he's　dead。　They　are　an　atmosphere　around　the　planet。　The　'earthbound'　is　the　name　for　them。　But　Pandora；　I　have　more　than　that　in　myself　to　explore。〃
　You　continued：
　〃Apparently　each　century　yields　a　new　kind　of　vampire；　or　let　us　say　that　our　course　of　growth　was　not　set　in　the　beginning　any　more　than　the　course　of　human　beings；　Some　night　perhaps　I　will　tell　you　everything　I　see　…　these　spirits　who　were　never　clear　to　me　when　I　was　mortal　…　I'll　tell　you　about　something　Armand　confided　to　me；　about　the　colors　he　saw　when　he　took　life；　how　the　soul　left　body　in　waves　of　radiating　color！〃
　〃I've　never　heard　of　such　a　thing！〃
　〃I　too　see　this；〃　you　said。
　I　could　see　it　hurt　you　almost　too　much　to　speak　of　Armand。
　〃But　whatever　possessed　Armand　to　believe　in　the　Veil'？〃　I　asked；　suddenly　amazed　at　my　own　passion。　〃Why　did　he　go　into　the　sun？　How　could　such　a　thing　kill　Lestat's　reason　and　will？　Veronica。　Did　they　know　the　very　name　means　Vera　Ikon；　that　there　was　never　any　such　person；　that　she　could　not　be　found　by　one　drawn　back　to　ancient　Jerusalem　on　the　day　Christ　carried　his　cross；　she　was　a　concoction　of　Priests。　Didn't　they　know？〃
　I　think　I　had　taken　the　two　notebooks　in　hand；　for　I　looked　down　and　I　saw　that　I　did　indeed　hold　them。　In　fact；　I　clutched　both　of　them　to　my　breast　and　examined　one　of　the　pens。
　〃Reason；〃　I　whispered。　〃Oh；　precious　reason！　And　consciousness　within　a　void。〃　I　shook　my　head；　smiling　kindly　at　you；　〃And　vampires　who　speak　now　with　spirits！　Humans　who　can　travel　from　body　to　body。〃
　I　went　on　with　a　wholly　unfamiliar　energy。
　〃A　lively　fashionable　modern　cult　of　angels；　devotion　th