annr.pandora-第43章
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〃Fill me； take me；〃 I said。 I reached down between his legs。
〃It doesn't matter now。〃
But it was hard； this organ I sought； the organ forever lost to the god Osiris。 I guided it； hard and cold as it was； into my body。 Then I drank and drank； and when I felt his teeth again on my neck； when he began to draw from me the new mixture that filled my veins； it was sweet suckling； and I knew him and loved him and knew all his secrets in one flash which meant nothing。
He was right。 The lower organs meant nothing。 He fed on me。 I fed on him。 This was our marriage。 All around us； the grass was waving softly in the breeze； a majestic conjugal bed； and the smell of the green flooded me。
The pain was gone。 I flung out my arm and felt the softness of flowers。
He tore off' my fouled dress and lifted me。 He carried me into the pool where the marble Venus stood forever with back bent； and one foot raised above the cool water。
〃Pandora！〃 he whispered。
The boys stood at his side； offering him pitchers。
He dipped a pitcher and poured the water over me。 I felt beneath my feet the tile at the bottom of the pool as the water ran down my skin。 I had never known such sensation！ Another pitcherful washed over me； deliciously。 I feared for one instant the pain would return； but no； it was gone。
〃I love you with all my heart；〃 I said。 'M my love belongs to them and to you； Marius。 Marius； I can see in the darkness； I can see in the deep dark beneath the trees。〃
Marius held me。 The boys slowly bathed us both； dipping their pitchers and pouring the silvery water over us。
〃Oh； to have you with me；〃 Marius said； 〃to have you here； not to be alone； but to be with you； my beauty； you of all souls！ You。〃 He stood back； and I gloried in him； drenched as I was； reached to touch his long wild foreign hair。 He sparkled all over with droplets。
〃Yes；〃 I said。 〃It was exactly what she wanted。'*
His face stiffened。 He scowled。 He stared at me。 Something had changed altogether； and for the worse。 I could feel it。
〃What？〃 he asked。
〃It is what she wanted。 She made it plain to me in the visions。 She wanted me to be with you； so you wouldn't be alone。〃
He stood back。 Was this anger'？
〃Marius； what is the matter with you？ Can't you see what she's done？〃
He stepped back again； away from me。
〃You didn't realize that's what was happening？〃 I asked。
The boys thrust forth towels。 Marius took one and wiped his face and his hair。
I did the same。
He was furious。 He shook with anger。
This was a moment of mingled and inexplicable beauty and horror' … his white body there； the shimmering pool； the lights falling gracefully from the open doors of the house； and above； the stars； her stars。 And Marius angry and bristling； his eyes full of outrage。
I looked at him。
〃I am her Priestess now；〃 I said。 〃I'm to restore her worship。 That's what she wants。 But she brought me also for you； because you were alone；〃 I said。 〃Marius； I saw all this。 I saw our own wedding in Rome； as if it were the old days and our families were with us。 I saw her worshipers。〃
He was plainly horrified。
I didn't want to see this。 Surely I was misunderstanding him。
I stepped up on the grass。 I let the boys dry my body。 I looked up at the stars。 The house with all its warm lamps seemed crude and fragile； a bumbled attempt to make an order of things； which could not pare to the making of one plete flower。
〃Oh； how spectacular is the simple night；〃 I said。 〃It seems an insult to the night to speak of purpose and intent； when this mon moment is so brimming full of blessed design and tranquillity。 All things follow their course。〃
I stood back and spun around； letting the water fly from me。 I was so strong。 No dizziness overcame when I stopped。 I had a sense of infinite power。
One of the boys held out a tunic for me。 It was a man's； but as I've said so often here； Roman clothes are very simple。 It was just a short tunic。 I put it on and let him tie the sash around my waist。 I smiled at him。 He trembled and stepped back from me。
〃Dry my hair；〃 I told him。 Ah； such sensations。
Slowly I looked up。 Marius too was dried and dressed。 He was still looking at me with violent protest； and downright indignation。
〃Someone has to go in；〃 I said； 〃to change her golden gown。 That blasphemer； he left her bloody。〃
〃I will do that！〃 Marius said in plain anger。
〃Oh； so it es to this；〃 I said。 I looked around me； seduced by beauty to forget his altogether； to e back to him at some later hour after I had roamed beneath the olive trees and consorted with the constellations。
But his anger hurt me。 The hurt was strange； and deep； without the various stages mortal flesh and mind mand of pain。
〃Oh； isn't it splendid。〃 I said。 〃I learn that the goddess reigns； that she is real； that she has made all things！ That the world is not just a giant graveyard！ But I learn this as I find myself in an arranged marriage！ And behold the groom！ How he nurses his own temper。〃
He sighed and bowed his head。 Was I to see him cry again； this flawless familiar and beloved god among crushed flowers？
He looked up。 〃Pandora；〃 he said。 〃She's not a goddess。 She didn't make the world。〃
〃How dare you say this！〃
〃I have to say it！ I would have died for the truth when I was alive and will die for it now。 But she will not let this happen。 She needs me and she needs you to make me happy！〃
〃So very well！〃 I threw my hands。 〃I am happy to do it。 And we will restore her worship。〃
〃We will not！〃 he said。 〃How can you even think of such a thing。〃
〃Marius； I want to sing it from the tops of mountains； I want to tell the world that this miracle exists。 I want to run through the streets singing。 We are to restore her to her throne in a great Temple in the very middle of Antioch！〃
〃You're talking madness！〃 he shouted。
The boys had run away。
〃Marius； have you stopped up your ears to her mands？ We are to hunt down and kill her renegade gods and see that new gods are born from her； gods who look into souls； gods who seek justice； not lies； gods who are not fantastical； lustful idiots or the drunken whimsical creatures of the Northern sky who hurl thunderbolts。 Her worship is founded in the good； in the pure！〃
〃No； no； no；〃 he said。 He stepped back as if that would make it all the more emphatic。 〃You're talking rot！〃 he said。 〃Stupidity； rank superstition！〃
〃I don't believe you said those words！〃 I cried。 〃You are a monster！〃 I said。 〃She deserves her throne！ So does the King； who sits beside her。 They deserve their worshipers bringing flowers to them。 Did you think you had the power to read minds for no good reason！〃 I came forward。 〃Do you remember when I first mocked you in the Temple？ When I said you ought to station yourself at the courts and look into the minds of the accused？ I had hit the mark in my ridicule！〃
〃No。〃 he roared。 〃This is absolutely not true；〃 he said。
He turned his back on me； rushing into the house。
I followed him。
He rushed down the stairway and into her sanctum； stopping short before her。 She and her King sat as before。 Not an eyelash moved。 Only the flowers clung to life in the perfumed air。
I looked down at my hands； so white！ Could I die now？ Would I live centuries like the burnt one？
I studied their seemingly divine faces。 They did not smile。 They did not dream。 They looked； and nothing more。
I fell down on my knees。
〃Akasha；〃 I whispered。 〃May I call you this name？ Tell me what you want。〃
There was no change in her。 None whatsoever。
〃Well； speak； Mother！〃 declared Marius； his voice thick with sadness。 〃Speak！ Is it what you've always wanted？〃
Suddenly he dashed forward； mounted the two steps of her dais and pounded on her breasts with his fists。
I was horrified。
She didn't move； she didn't blink。 His fist struck a hardness he could not budge。 Only her hair； struck by his arm； gave a little sway。
I ran to him and tried to pull him away。
〃Stop it； Marius； she'll destroy you！〃
I was amazed at my strength。 Surely it equalled his。 But he allowed me to pull him back； his face flooded with tears。
〃Oh； what have I done！〃 he said staring at her。 〃Oh； Pandora； Pandora！ What have
