annr.pandora-第28章

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　I　saw　the　distant　figure　cringe　and　try　to　fade　into　the　wall。
　〃Why？〃　Flavius　asked　with　about　as　much　humility　as　a　Roman　Senator。　〃Something　is　very　wrong　about　that　man。　He's　hovering。　The　Teacher　was　right。〃
　〃I　know；〃　I　answered。　I　heard　the　dim；　echoing　laughter　of　a　woman！　Yea　gods；　I　had　to　stay　sane　long　enough　to　get　home！　I　looked　at　Flavius。　He　had　not　heard　the　laughter。
　There　was　one　sure　way　to　do　this。　〃You　torchbearers；　all　of　you；　e　with　me；〃　I　said　to　the　four　of　them。　〃Flavius；　you　stand　here　with　the　Priest　and　watch　as　I　greet　this　man。　I　know　him。　e　only　if　I　call。〃
　〃Oh；　I　don't　like　it；〃　said　Flavius。
　〃Neither　do　I；〃　said　the　Priest。　〃They　want　you　in　the　Temple；　Madam；　and　we　have　many　guards　to　escort　you　home。〃
　〃I　won't　disappoint　you；〃　I　said；　but　I　walked　straight　towards　the　toga…clad　figure；　crossing　yard　after　yard　of　paved　squares；　the　torches　flaring　around　me。
　The　toga…clad　man　gave　a　violent　start；　with　his　whole　body；　and　then　he　took　a　few　steps　away　from　the　wall。
　I　stopped；　still　out　in　the　square。
　He　had　to　e　closer。　I　wasn't　going　to　move。　The　four　torches　gasped　and　blew　in　the　breeze。　Anybody　anywhere　near　could　see　us。　We　were　the　brightest　thing　in　the　Forum。
　The　man　approached。　He　walked　slow；　then　fast。　The　light　struck　his　face。　He　was　consumed　with　rage。
　〃Lucius；〃　I　whispered。　〃I　see　you；　but　I　can't　believe　what　I　see。〃
　〃Nor　can　I；〃　he　said。　〃What　the　hell　are　you　doing　here？〃　he　said　to　me。
　〃What？〃　I　was　too　baffled　to　answer。
　〃Our　family　is　in　disgrace　in　Rome　and　you're　making　a　spectacle　of　yourself　in　the　middle　of　Antioch！　Look　at　you！　Painted　and　perfumed　and　your　hair　full　of　ointment！　You　are　a　whore。〃
　〃Lucius！〃　I　cried。　〃What　in　the　name　of　the　gods　are　you　thinking'？　Our　Father　is　dead！　Your　own　brothers　may　be　dead。　How　did　you　escape？　Why　aren't　you　glad　to　see　me？　Why　don't　you　take　me　to　your　house？〃
　〃Glad　to　see　you！〃　he　hissed。　〃We　are　in　hiding　here；　you　bitch！〃
　〃How　many　of　you？　Who'？　What　about　Antony？　What　happened　to　Flora？〃
　He　sneered　with　exasperation。
　〃They　are　murdered；　Lydia；　and　if　you　do　not　get　yourself　to　some　safe　corner　where　no　roaming　citizen　of　Rome　can　find　you；　you　are　dead　too。　Oh；　that　you　would　turn　up　here；　spouting　philosophy！　Everybody　in　the　taverns　was　talking　about　you！　And　that　slave　with　the　leg　made　of　ivory！　I　saw　you　at　noon；　you　wretched　and　infernal　nuisance。　Damn　you；　Lydia！〃
　This　was　pure　unadulterated　hate。
　Again；　came　that　distinct　echoing　laughter。　Of　course　he　did　not　hear　it。　Only　I　could　hear　it。
　〃Your　wife；　where　is　she。　I　want　to　see　her！　You　will　take　me　in！〃
　〃I　will　not。〃
　〃Lucius；　I　am　your　sister。　I　want　to　see　your　wife。　You're　right。　I've　been　foolish。　I　didn't　think　things　through　very　well。　There　are　so　many　miles　of　sea　between　here　and　Rome。　It　never　occurred　to　me　…〃
　〃That's　just　it；　Lydia；　you　never　really　think　of　anything　sensible　or　practical。　You　never　did。　You're　an　unpromising　dreamer；　and　stupid　on　top　of　it。〃
　〃Lucius；　what　can　I　do？〃
　He　turned　from　right　to　left；　sizing　up　the　torchbearers。
　He　narrowed　his　eyes。　I　could　feel　his　hatred。　Oh；　Father；　do　not　see　this　from　Heaven　or　the　Underworld。　My　brother　wants　me　dead！
　〃Yes；〃　I　said；　〃four　torchbearers　and　we　are　in　the　middle　of　the　Forum。　And　don't　forget　about　the　man　with　the　ivory　leg　over　there　and　the　Priest；〃　I　said　softly。　〃And　do　regard　the　soldiers　outside　the　Emperor's　Temple。　Take　note。　How　goes　it　with　your　wife？　I　must　see　her。　I'll　e　in　secret。　She'll　be　happy　that　I　am　alive；　surely；　for　I　love　her　like　a　sister。　I　will　never　connect　myself　with　you　in　public。　I've　made　a　grievous　error。〃
　〃Oh；　knock　it　off；〃　he　said。　〃Sisters！　She's　dead！〃　He　looked　from　right　to　left　again。　〃They　were　all　massacred。　Don't　you　understand？　Get　away　from　me。〃　He　took　a　few　steps　back　but　I　moved　forward；　drawing　the　light　around　him　again。
　〃But　who　is　with　you；　then？　Who　escaped　with　you？　Who　else　is　alive？〃
　〃Priscilla；〃　he　said；　〃and　we　were　damned　lucky　to　get　away　when　we　did。〃
　〃What？　Your　mistress？　You　came　here　with　your　mistress？　The　children；　they　are　all　dead？〃
　〃Yes；　of　course；　they　must　be。　How　could　they　have　escaped'？　Look；　Lydia；　I　give　you　one　night　to　get　out　of　this　city　and　away　from　me。　I　am　lodged　here　fortably　and　will　not　tolerate　you。　Get　out　of　Antioch。　Go　by　sea　or　land；　I　don't　care；　but　go！〃
　〃You　left　your　wife　and　children　to　die'？　And　came　here　with　Priscilla？〃
　〃How　the　hell　did　you　get　away；　you　stinking　bitch　in　heat；　answer　me　that！　Of　course　you　had　no　children；　the　great　famous　barren　womb　of　our　family！〃　He　looked　at　the　torchbearers。　〃Get　away　from　here！〃　he　shouted。
　〃Stay　right　where　you　are。〃
　I　put　my　hand　on　my　dagger。　I　moved　the　mantle　so　that　he　could　see　the　flash　of　the　metal。
　He　looked　genuinely　surprised　and　then　gave　a　ghastly　false　smile。　Oh；　revolting！
　〃Lydia；　I　wouldn't　hurt　you　for　the　world！〃　he　said　as　if　insulted。　〃I　am　only　worried　for　us　all。　Word　came　from　the　house。　Everyone　had　been　killed。　What　was　I　to　do；　go　back　and　die　for　nothing？〃
　〃You're　lying。　And　don't　you　call　me　a　bitch　in　heat　again　unless　you　want　to　bee　a　gelding。　I　know　you　lie。　Somebody　tipped　you　off；　and　you　got　out！　Or　it　was　you　who　betrayed　us　all。〃
　Ah；　how　sad　for　him　that　he　was　not　more　clever；　more　quick。　He　did　not　take　umbrage　at　these　loathsome　charges　as　he　should　have。　He　just　tilted　his　head　and　said：
　〃No；　that's　not　true。　Look；　e　with　me　now。　Send　these　men　away；　get　rid　of　that　slave；　and　I　will　help　you。　Priscilla　adores　you。〃
　〃She's　a　liar　and　slut！　And　how　calm　you　have　bee　in　the　face　of　my　suspicions。　Nothing　as　steamed　as　when　you　saw　me！　I　just　accused　you　of　betraying　our　family　to　the　Delatores。　I　accused　you　of　abandoning　your　wife　and　children　to　the　Praetorian　Guard。　Can　you　hear　these　words？〃
　〃It's　utter　stupidity；　I　would　never　do　such　a　thing。〃
　〃You　reek　of　guilt。　Look　at　you。　I　should　kill　you　now！〃
　He　backed　up。　〃Get　out　of　Antioch！〃　he　said。　〃I　don't　care　how　you　judge　me　or　what　I　had　to　do　to　save　myself　and　Priscilla。　Get　out　of　Antioch！〃
　There　were　no　words　for　my　judgment。　It　was　harsher　than　my　soul　could　hold。
　He　backed　away；　and　then　walked　fast　into　the　darkness；　disappearing　before　he　reached　the　portico。　I　listened　to　his　steps　as　they　echoed　down　the　street。
　〃Dear　Heaven！〃　I　whispered。　I　was　about　to　cry。　My　hand　was　still　on　the　dagger；　however。
　I　turned　around。　The　Priest　and　Flavius　stood　much　closer　than　ordered。　I　was　frankly　utterly　baffled；　stopped。
　I　didn't　know　what　to　do。
　〃e　to　the　Temple　at　once；〃　said　the　Priest。
　〃All　right；〃　I　said。　〃Flavius；　you　e　with　me；　stand　watch　with　the　four　torchmen；　I　want　you　right　by　the　Temple　guards；　and　keep　an　eye　out　for　that　man。〃
　〃Who　is　he；　Madam；〃　Flavius　whispered　as　I　strode　towards　the　Temple；　leading　them　both。
　How　regal　he　looked。　He　had　the　presence　of　a　free　man。　And　his　tunic　was　beautiful　thin　wool；　striped　in　gold；　belted　in　gold；　well　fitted　across　his　chest。　Even　his　ivory　leg　had　been　polished。　I　was　more　than　pleased。　But　was　he　armed'？
　Beneath　his　quiet　demeanor；　he　was　deeply　protective　of　me。
　In　my　misery；　I　couldn't　form　words　to　answer　him。
　Several　litters　were　now　crisscrossing　the　square；　carried　on　the　shoulders　of　hurrying　slaves；　and　other　slaves　carried　the　torches　beside　them。　A　kind　of　soft　glow　rose　from　the　motion。　People　were　on　their　way　to　dinners　or　private　ceremonies。　Something　was　happening　in　the　Temple。
　I　turned　to　the　Priest。　〃You　will　guard　my　slave　and　my　torchbearers？〃
　〃Yes；　Madam；〃　he　said。
　It　was　full　night。　The　breeze　was　sweet。　A　few　lanterns　had　been　lighted　under　the　long　porticoes。　We　drew　near　to　the　braziers　of　the　goddess。
　〃Now　I　must　leave　you；〃　I　said。　〃You　have　my　permission　to　protect　my　property；　as　you　so　eloquently　put　it　earlier；　unto　death。　Don't　move　from　these　doors。　I　won't　leave　here　without　you。　I　won't　stay　long。　I　don't　want　to。　But　have　you　a　knife'？〃
　〃Yes；　Madam；　but　it's　untried。　It　was　among　your　possessions；　and　when　you　did　not　e　home　and　it　grew　dark。。。〃
　〃Don't　recount　t