pbien.jaws-第30章

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　　　　　　　Her　legs　were　long　and　…　below　the　pad　of　fat　on　her　rear　…　slender。　Her　ankles　were　delicate；　and　her　feet　…　with　the　toenails　nearly　pruned　…　were　perfect　enough　to　suit　any　pediphile。
　　　　　　　She　dressed　in　her　hospital　clothes。　From　the　back　of　her　closet　she　took　a　plastic　shopping　bag　into　which　she　put　a　pair　of　bikini　underpants；　a　bra；　a　neatly　folded　lavender　summer　dress；　a　pair　of　low…heeled　pumps；　a　can　of　spray　deodorant；　a　plastic　bottle　of　bath　powder；　a　toothbrush　and　a　tube　of　toothpaste。　She　carried　the　bag　to　the　garage；　tossed　it　into　the　back　seat　of　her　Volkswagen　beetle；　backed　out　of　the　driveway；　and　drove　to　the　Southampton　Hospital。
　　　　　　　The　dull　drive　increased　the　fatigue　she　had　been　feeling　for　hours。　She　had　not　slept　all　night。　She　had　first　lain　in　bed；　then　sat　by　the　window；　struggling　with　all　the　twistings　of　emotion　and　conscience；　desire　and　regret；　longing　and　recrimination。　She　didn't　know　exactly　when　she　had　decided　on　this　manifestly　rash；　dangerous　plan。　She　had　been　thinking　about　it　…　and　trying　not　to　think　about　it　…　since　the　day　she　first　met　Hooper。　She　had　weighed　the　risks　and；　somehow；　calculated　that　they　were　worth　taking；　though　she　was　not　entirely　sure　what　she　could　gain　from　the　adventure。　She　knew　she　wanted　change；　almost　any　change。　She　wanted　to　be　assured　and　reassured　that　she　was　desirable　…　not　just　to　her　husband；　for　she　had　grown　placent　about　that；　but　to　the　people　she　saw　as　her　real　peers；　the　people　among　whom　she　still　numbered　herself。　She　felt　that　without　some　remedy；　the　part　of　herself　that　she　most　cherished　would　die。　Perhaps　the　past　could　never　be　revived。　But　perhaps　it　could　be　recalled　physically　as　well　as　mentally。　She　wanted　an　injection；　a　transfusion　of　the　essence　of　her　past；　and　she　saw　Matt　Hooper　as　the　only　possible　donor。　The　thought　of　love　never　entered　her　mind。　Nor　did　she　want　or　anticipate　a　relationship　either　profound　or　enduring。　She　sought　only　to　be　serviced；　restored。
　　　　　　　She　was　grateful　that　the　work　assigned　her　when　she　arrived　at　the　hospital　demanded　concentration　and　conversation；　for　it　prevented　her　from　thinking。　She　and　another　volunteer　changed　the　bedding　of　the　elderly　patients　for　whom　the　hospital　munity　was　a　surrogate　…　and；　in　some　cases；　final　…　home。　She　had　to　remember　the　names　of　children　in　distant　cities；　had　to　fashion　new　excuses　for　why　they　hadn't　written。　She　had　to　feign　recollection　of　the　plots　of　television　shows　and　speculate　on　why　such…and…such　a　character　had　left　his　wife　for　a　woman　who　was　patently　an　adventuress。
　　　　　　　At　11：45；　Ellen　told　the　supervisor　of　volunteers　that　she　didn't　feel　well。　Her　thyroid　was　acting　up　again；　she　said；　and　she　was　getting　her　period。　She　thought　she'd　go　lie　down　for　a　while　in　the　staff　lounge。　And　if　a　nap　didn't　help；　she　said；　she'd　probably　go　home。　In　fact；　if　she　wasn't　back　on　the　job　by　1：30　or　so；　the　supervisor　could　assume　she　had　gone　home。　It　was　an　explanation　that　she　hoped　was　vague　enough　to　discourage　anyone　from　actively　looking　for　her。
　　　　　　　She　went　into　the　lounge；　counted　to　twenty；　and　opened　the　door　a　crack　to　see　if　the　corridor　was　empty。　It　was；　most　of　the　staff　were　in；　or　on　their　way　to；　the　cafeteria　on　the　other　side　of　the　building。　She　stepped　into　the　corridor；　closed　the　door　softly　behind　her；　and　hurried　around　a　corner　and　out　a　side　door　of　the　hospital　that　led　to　the　staff　parking　lot。
　　　　　　　She　drove　most　of　the　way　to　Sag　Harbor；　then　stopped　at　a　gas　station。　When　the　tank　was　full　and　the　gas　paid　for；　she　asked　to　use　the　ladies'　room。　The　attendant　gave　her　the　key；　and　she　pulled　her　car　around　to　the　side　of　the　station；　next　to　the　ladies'　room　door。　She　opened　the　door；　but　before　going　into　the　ladies'　room　she　returned　the　key　to　the　attendant。　She　walked　to　her　car；　removed　the　plastic　bag　from　the　back　seat；　entered　the　ladies'　room；　and　pushed　the　button　that　locked　the　door。
　　　　　　　She　stripped；　and　standing　on　the　cold　floor　in　her　bare　feet；　looking　at　her　reflection　in　the　mirror　above　the　sink；　she　felt　a　thrill　of　risk。　She　sprayed　deodorant　under　her　arms　and　on　her　feet。　She　took　the　clean　underpants　from　the　plastic　bag　and　stepped　into　them。　She　shook　a　little　powder　into　each　cup　of　the　bra　and　put　it　on。　She　took　the　dress　from　the　bag；　unfolded　it；　checked　it　for　wrinkles；　and　slipped　it　over　her　head。　She　poured　powder　into　each　of　her　shoes；　brushed　off　the　bottom　of　each　foot　with　a　paper　towel；　and　put　on　the　shoes。　Then　she　brushed　her　teeth　and　bed　her　hair；　stuffed　her　hospital　clothes　into　the　plastic　bag；　and　opened　the　door。　She　looked　both　ways；　saw　that　no　one　was　watching　her；　then　stepped　out　of　the　ladies'　room；　tossed　the　bag　into　the　car；　and　got　in。
　　　　　　　As　she　drove　out　of　the　gas　station；　she　hunched　down　in　her　seat　so　the　attendant；　if　he　should　chance　to　notice　her；　would　not　see　that　she　had　changed　clothes。
　　　　　　　It　was　12：20　when　she　arrived　at　Banner's；　a　small　steak…and…seafood　restaurant　on　the　water　in　Sag　Harbor。　The　parking　lot　was　in　the　rear；　for　which　she　was　grateful。
　　　　　　　On　the　off…chance　that　someone　she　knew　might　drive　down　the　street　in　Sag　Harbor；　she　didn't　want　her　car　in　plain　view。
　　　　　　　One　reason　she　had　picked　Banner's　was　that　it　was　known　as　a　favorite　nighttime　restaurant　for　yachtsmen　and　summer　people；　which　meant　that　it　probably　had　little　luncheon　trade。　And　it　was　expensive；　which　made　it　almost　certain　that　no　year…round　residents；　no　local　tradesmen；　would　go　there　for　lunch。　Ellen　checked　her　wallet。　She　had　nearly　fifty　dollars　…　all　the　emergency　cash　she　and　Brody　kept　in　the　house。　She　made　a　mental　note　of　the　bills：　a　twenty；　two　tens；　a　five；　and　three　ones。　She　wanted　to　replace　exactly　what　she　had　taken　from　the　coffee　can　in　the　kitchen　closet。
　　　　　　　There　were　two　other　cars　in　the　parking　lot；　a　Chevrolet　Vega　and　a　bigger　car；　tan。　She　remembered　that　Hooper's　car　was　green　and　that　it　was　named　after　some　animal。　She　left　her　car　and　walked　into　the　restaurant；　holding　her　hands　over　her　head　to　protect　her　hair　from　the　light　rain。
　　　　　　　The　restaurant　was　dark；　but　because　the　day　was　gloomy　it　took　her　eyes　only　a　few　seconds　to　adjust。　There　was　only　one　room；　with　a　bar　on　the　right　as　she　walked　in　and　about　twenty　tables　in　the　center。　The　left…hand　wall　was　lined　with　eight　booths。
　　　　　　　The　walls　were　dark　wood；　decorated　with　bullfight　and　movie　posters。
　　　　　　　A　couple　…　in　their　late　twenties；　Ellen　guessed　…　was　having　a　drink　at　a　table　by　the　window。　The　bartender；　a　young　man　with　a　Vandyke　beard　and　a　button…　down　shirt；　sat　by　the　cash　register　reading　the　New　York　Daily　News。　They　were　the　only　people　in　the　room。　Ellen　looked　at　her　watch。　Almost　12：30。
　　　　　　　The　bartender　looked　up　and　said；　〃Hi。　Can　I　help　you？〃
　　　　　　　Ellen　stepped　to　the　bar。　〃Yes。。。　yes。　In　a　minute。　But　first　I'd　like。。。　can　you　tell　me　where　the　ladies'　room　is？〃
　　　　　　　〃End　of　the　bar；　turn　right。　First　door　on　your　left。〃
　　　　　　　〃Thank　you。〃　Ellen　walked　quickly　down　the　length　of　the　bar；　turned　right；　and　went　into　the　ladies'　room。
　　　　　　　She　stood　in　front　of　the　mirror　and　held　out　her　right　hand。　It　trembled；　and　she　clenched　it　into　a　fist。　Calm　down；　she　said　to　herself。　You　have　to　calm　down　or　it's　no　use。　It's　lost。　She　felt　that　she　was　sweating；　but　when　she　put　a　hand　inside　her　dress　and　felt　her　armpit；　it　was　dry。　She　bed　her　hair　and　surveyed　her　teeth。　She　remembered　something　a　boy　she　had　once　gone　out　with　had　said：　Nothing　turns　my　stomach　faster　than　seeing　a　girl　with　a　big　piece　of　crud　between　her　teeth。　She　looked　at　her　watch：　12：35。
　　　　　　　She　went　back　into　the　restaurant　and　looked　around。　Just　the　same　couple；　the　bartender；　and　a　waitress　standing　at　the　bar；　folding　napkins。
　　　　　　　The　waitress　saw　Ellen　e　around　the　corner　of　the　bar；　and　she　said；　〃Hello。
　　　　　　　May　I　help　you？〃
　　　　　　　〃Yes。　I'd　like　a　table；　please。　For　lunch。〃
　　　　　　　〃For　one？〃
　　　　　　　〃No。　Two。〃
　　　　　　　〃Fine；〃　said　the　waitress。　She　put　down　a　napkin；　picked　up　a　pad；　and　walked　Ellen　to　a　table　in　the　middle　of　the　room。　〃Is　this　all　right？〃