dk.coldfire-第68章

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e　wish；　as　if　convinced；　the　way　a　kid　sometimes　could　be；　that　wishes　really　did　now　and　then　e　true。　
　He　remembered　a　quote　from　Chazal；　which　he　had　used　when　teaching　a　literature　unit　on　the　supernatural　fiction　of　Poe　and　Hawthorne：　Extreme　terror　gives　us　back　the　gestures　of　our　childhood　If　he　ever　went　back　into　the　classroom；　he　would　be　able　to　teach　that　unit　a　hell　of　a　lot　better；　thanks　to　what　had　happened　to　him　in　the　old　windmill。　
　At　1：25　The　Friend　disproved　the　value　of　wishing　by　putting　in　a　sudden　appearance。　This　time　no　bells　heralded　its　approach。　Red　light　blossomed　in　the　wall；　like　a　burst　of　crimson　paint　in　clear　water。　
　Holly　scrambled　to　her　feet。　
　So　did　Jim。　He　could　no　longer　sit　relaxed　in　the　presence　of　this　mysterious　being；　because　he　was　now　more　than　halfconvinced　that　at　any　moment　it　might　strike　at　them　with　merciless　brutality。　
　The　light　separated　into　many　swarms；　surged　all　the　way　around　the　room；　then　began　to　change　from　red　to　amber。　
　The　Friend　spoke　without　waiting　for　a　question：　〃August　first　Seattle　Washington。　Laura　Lenaskian；　saved　from　drowning。　She　will　give　birth　to　u　child　who　will　bee　a　great　poser　and　whose　music　will　give　solace　to　many　people　in　times　of　trouble。　August　eighth。　Peoria；　Illinois　Doogie　Burkette。　He　will　grow　up　to　be　a　paramedic　in　Chicago；　where　he　will　do　much　good　and　save　many　lives　August　twelfth。　Portland　Oregon。　Billy　Jenkins　He　will　grow　up　to　be　a　brilliant　medical　technologist　whose　inventions　will　revolutionize　medical　care〃　Jim　met　Holly's　eyes　and　did　not　even　have　to　wonder　what　she　was　thinking：　the　same　thing　he　was　thinking。　
　The　Friend　was　in　its　testy；　I'll　show…you　mode；　and　it　was　providing　details　which　it　expected　would　lend　credibility　to　its　extravagant　claim　to　be　altering　human　destiny。　But　it　was　impossible　to　know　if　what　it　said　was　true…or　merely　fantasies　that　it　had　worked　up　to　support　its　story。　The　important　thing；　perhaps；　was　that　it　seemed　to　care　deeply　that　they　believe　it。　Jim　had　no　idea　why　his　or　Holly's　opinion　should　matter　at　all　to　a　being　as　intellectually　superior　to　them　as　they　were　to　a　field　mouse；　but　the　fact　that　it　did　evidently　matter　seemed　to　be　to　their　advantage。　
　〃　August　twentieth。　The　Mojave　Desert　Nevada。　Lisa　and　Susan　Jawolski　。　Lisa　will　provide　her　daughter　with　the　love　affection。　and　counseling　that　will　make　it　possible　for　the　girl　eventually　to　overe　the　severe　psychological　trauma　of　her　father's　murder　and　grow　up　to　be　the　greatest　woman　statesman　in　the　entire　history　of　the　world；　a　force　for　enlightenment　and　passionate　government　policies　August　twenty…third。　Boston；　Massachusetts。　Nicholas　O'Conner　saved　from　an　electrical…vault　explosion。　
　He　will　grow　up　to　bee　a　priest　who　will　dedicate　his　life　to　caring　for　the　poor　in　the　slums　of　India…〃　The　Friend's　attempt　to　answer　Holly's　criticism　and　present　a　six　grandiose　version　of　its　work　was　childishly　transparent。　The　Burkette　bo　was　not　going　to　save　the　world；　just　be　a　damned　good　paramedic；　and　Nicholas　O'Conner　was　going　to　be　a　humble　man　leading　a　self　effacing　existence　among　the　needy…but　the　rest　of　them　were　still　great　or　brilliant　or　staggeringly　talented　in　one　way　or　another。　The　entity　now　recognized　the　need　for　credibility　in　its　tale　of　grandeur；　but　it　could　not　bring　itself　to　significantly　water　down　its　professed　acplishments。　
　And　something　else　was　bothering　Jim：　that　voice。　The　longer　he　listened　to　it；　the　more　he　became　convinced　that　he　had　heard　it　before；　not　in　this　room　twenty…five　years　ago；　not　within　its　current　context　at　all。　
　The　voice　had　to　be　appropriated；　of　course；　because　in　its　natural　condition　the　alien　almost　certainly　did　not　possess　anything　similar　to　human　vocal　cords；　its　biology　would　be　inhuman。　The　voice　it　was　imitating；　as　if　it　were　an　impersonator　performing　in　a　cosmic　cocktail　lounge；　was　that　of　a　person　Jim　had　once　known。　He　could　not　quite　identify　it。　
　〃　August　twenty…sixth。　Dubuque　Iowa。　Christine　and　Casey　Dubrovek　Christine　will　give　birth　to　another　child　who　will　grow　up　to　be　the　greatest　geneticist　of　the　next　century。　Casey　will　bee　an　exceptional　school　teacher　who　will　tremendously　influence　the　lives　of　her　students；　and　who　will　never　fail　one　of　them　to　the　extent　that　a　suicide　results〃　Jim　felt　as　if　he　had　been　hit　in　the　chest　with　a　hammer。　That　insulting　accusation；　directed　at　him　and　referring　to　Larry　Kakonis；　shook　his　remaining　faith　in　The　Friend's　basic　desire　to　do　good。　
　Holly　said；　〃Shit；　that　was　low。〃　
　The　entity's　pettiness　sickened　Jim；　because　he　wanted　so　badly　to　believe　in　its　stated　purpose　and　goodness。　
　The　scintillant　amber　light　swooped　and　swirled　through　the　walls；　as　if　The　Friend　was　delighted　by　the　effect　of　the　blow　it　had　struck。　
　Despair　welled　so　high　in　Jim　that　for　a　moment　he　even　dared　to　consider　that　the　entity　under　the　pond　was　not　good　at　all　but　purely　evil。　
　Maybe　the　people　he　had　saved　since　May　fifteenth　were　not　destined　to　elevate　the　human　condition　but　debase　it。　Maybe　Nicholas　O'Conner　was　really　going　to　grow　up　to　be　a　serial　killer。　Maybe　Billy　Jenkins　was　going　to　be　a　bomber　pilot　who　went　rogue　and　found　a　way　to　override　all　the　safeguards　in　the　system　in　order　to　drop　a　few　nuclear　weapons　on　a　major　metropolitan　area；　and　maybe　instead　of　being　the　greatest　woman　statesman　in　the　history　of　the　world；　Susie　Jawolski　was　going　to　be　a　radical　activist　who　planted　bombs　in　corporate　boardrooms　and　machinegunned　those　with　whom　she　disagreed。　
　But　as　he　swayed　precariously　on　the　rim　of　that　black　chasm；　Jim　saw　in　memory　the　face　of　young　Susie　Jawolski；　which　had　seemed　to　be　the　essence　of　innocence。　He　could　not　believe　that　she　would　be　anything　less　than　a　positive　force　in　the　lives　of　her　family　and　neighbors。　He　had　done　good　works；　therefore　The　Friend　had　done　good　works；　whether　or　not　it　was　insane；　and　even　though　it　had　the　capacity　to　be　cruel。　
　Holly　addressed　the　entity　within　the　wall：　〃We　have　more　questions。〃　
　〃Ask　them；　ask　them。〃　Holly　glanced　at　her　tablet；　and　Jim　hoped　she　would　remember　to　be　less　aggressive。　He　sensed　that　The　Friend　was　more　unstable　than　at　any　previous　point　during　the　night。　
　She　said；　〃Why　did　you　choose　Jim　to　be　your　instrument？〃　〃He　was　convenient。　〃　〃You　mean　because　he　lived　on　the　farm？〃　〃Yes。　〃　〃Have　you　ever　worked　through　anyone　else　the　way　you've　been　working　through　Jim？〃　〃No。〃　
　〃Not　in　all　these　ten　thousand　years？〃　〃Is　this　a　trick　question？　Do　you　think　you　can　trick　me？　Do　you　still　not　believe　me　when　I　tell　you　the　truth？〃　Holly　looked　at　Jim；　and　he　shook　his　head；　meaning　that　this　was　no　time　to　be　argumentative；　that　discretion　was　not　only　the　better　part　of　valor　but　their　best　hope　of　survival。　
　Then　he　wondered　if　this　entity　could　read　his　mind　as　well　as　intrude　into　it　and　implant　directives。　Probably　not。　If　it　could　do　that；　it　would　flare　into　anger　now；　incensed　that　they　still　thought　it　insane　and　were　patronizing　it。　
　〃I'm　sorry；〃　Holly　said。　〃It　wasn't　a　trick　question；　not　at　all。　
　We　just　want　to　know　about　you。　We're　fascinated　by　you。　If　we　ask　questions　that　you　find　offensive；　please　understand　that　we　do　so　unintentionally；　out　of　ignorance。〃　
　The　Friend　did　not　reply。　
　The　light　pulsed　more　slowly　through　the　limestone；　and　though　Jim　knew　the　danger　of　interpreting　alien　actions　in　human　terms；　he　felt　that　the　changed　patterns　and　tempo　of　the　radiance　indicated　The　Friend　was　in　a　contemplative　mood。　It　was　chewing　over　what　Holly　had　just　said；　deciding　whether　or　not　she　was　sincere。　
　Finally　the　voice　came　again；　more　mellow　than　it　had　been　in　a　while：　〃Ask　your　questions〃　Consulting　her　tablet　again；　Holly　said；　〃Will　you　ever　release　Jim　from　this　work？〃　〃Does　he　want　to　be　released？〃　Holly　looked　at　Jim　inquiringly。　
　Considering　what　he　had　been　through　in　the　past　few　months；　Jim　was　a　bit　surprised　by　his　answer：　〃Not　if　I'm　actually　doing　good。〃　
　〃You　are　How　can　you　doubt　it？　But　regardless　of　whether　you　believe　my　intentions　to　be　good　or　evil；　I　would　never　release　you。〃