cw.imarriedadeadman-第35章

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　She　didn't　know　where　he　wanted　to…wanted　to　put　what　he　was　bringing　out。　Front　or　back。　She　reached　out　and　opened　the　rear　door　on　his　side；　left　it　that　way；　ready　and　waiting　for　him。
　Then　she　stared　straight　ahead　through　the　windshield；　with　a　curious　sort　of　rigidity；　as　though　she　were　unable　to　move　her　neck。
　She　heard　the　building…door　open；　and　still　couldn't　turn　her　neck。　She　strained；　tugged　at　it；　but　it　was　locked　in　some　sort　of　rigor　of　mortal　terror；　wouldn't　carry　her　head　around　that　way。
　She　heard　a　slow；　weighted　tread　on　the　gritty　sidewalk…his…　and　acpanying　it　a　softer　sound；　a　sort　of　scrape；　as　when　two　shoes　are　turned　over　on　their　softer　topsides；　or　simply　on　their　sides；　and　trail　along　that　way；　without　full　weight　to　press　them　down。
　Suddenly　his　voice　breathed　urgently　（almost　in　her　ear；　it　seemed）；　〃The　front　door。　The　front〃
　She　couldn't　turn　her　head。　But　she　could　move　her　arms　at　least。　She　extended　them　without　looking；　broke　the　latch　open　for　him。　She　could　hear　her　own　breath　singing　in　her　throat；　like　the　sound　a　teakettle…spout　makes　when　it　is　simmering　toward　a　catastrophic　overflow。
　Someone　settled　on　the　seat　beside　her。　Just　the　way　anyone　does；　with　the　same　crunchy　strain　on　the　leather。　He　touched　her　side；　he　nudged　her　here　and　there。
　The　muscular　block　shattered；　and　her　head　swung　around。
　She　was　looking　into　his　face。　Not　Bill's；　not　Bill's。　The　mocking　eyes　wide　open　in　the　dark。　His　head　had　had　to　swing　toward　her；　just　as　hers　had　toward　him…it　couldn't　have　remained　inert！…to　make　the　grisly　face…to…face　confrontation　plete。　Even　in　death　he　wouldn't　let　her　alone。
　A　strangled　scream　wrenched　at　her　windpipe。
　〃Now；　none　of　that；〃　the　voice　of　Bill　said；　from　just　on　the　other　side　of　him。　〃Get　in　back。　I　want　the　wheel。　I　want　him　next　to　me。〃
　The　sound　of　his　voice　had　a　steadying　effect　on　her。　〃I　didn't　mean　it；〃　she　murmured　blurredly。　She　got　out；　got　in　again；　holding　onto　the　car　for　support　in　the　brief　transit　between　the　two　places。　She　didn't　know　how　she　did　it；　but　she　did。
　He　must　have　known　what　she　was　going　through；　though　he　didn't　look　at　her。
　〃I　told　you　to　go　home；〃　he　reminded　her　quietly。
　〃I'm　all　right；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　all　right　Go　ahead。〃　It　came　out　tinny；　like　something　on　a　worn…out　disk　played　by　a　feathered　needle。
　The　door　cracked　shut；　and　they　were　in　motion。
　Bill　kept　the　car　down　to　a　laggard　crawl　the　first　few　moments；　using　only　one　hand　to　the　wheel。　She　saw　him　reach　over　with　the　other　and　tilt　down　the　hat…brim　low　over　the　face　beside　him。
　He　found　time　for　a　word　of　encouragement　to　her；　conscious　of　her　there　behind　him；　though　still　he　didn't　turn　to　glance　at　her。
　〃Can　you　hear　me？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Try　not　to　be　frightened。　Try　not　to　think　of　it。　We've　been　lucky　so　far。　The　check　and　the　notebook　were　on　him。　Either　we　make　it　or　we　don't　Look　at　it　that　way。　It's　the　only　way。　You're　helping　me；　too；　that　way。　See；　if　you're　too　tense；　then　I'm　too　tense　too。　You　react　on　me。〃
　〃I'm　all　right；〃　she　said　with　that　same　mechanical　bleat　as　before。　〃I'll　be　quiet。　I'll　be　controlled。　Go　ahead。〃
　After　that；　they　didn't　talk。　How　could　you；　on　such　a　ride？
　She　kept　her　eyes　away。　She'd　look　out　the　side　as　long　as　she　could；　then　when　that　became　a　strain；　she'd　look　up　at　the　car　ceiling　for　a　moment　to　rest。　Or　down　at　the　floor　directly　before　her。　Anywhere　but　straight　ahead；　to　where　those　two　heads　（she　knew）　must　be　lightly　quivering　in　synchronization　to　the　same　vibration。
　She　tried　to　do　what　he'd　told　her。　She　tried　not　to　think　of　it　〃We're　ing　home　from　a　dance；〃　she　said　to　herself。　〃He's　bringing　me　home　from　the　Country　Club；　that's　all。　I'm　wearing　that　black　net　with　the　gold　disks。　Look；　see？　I'm　wearing　that　black　dress　with　the　gold　disks。　We　had　words；　so　I'm…I'm　sitting　in　the　back；　and　he's　sitting　alone　up　front。〃
　Her　forehead　was　a　little　cold　and　damp。　She　wiped　it　off。
　〃He's　bringing　me　home　from　the　movies；〃　she　said　to　herself。　〃We　saw…we　saw…we　saw…〃　Another　of　those　blocks；　this　time　of　the　imagination；　occurred；　it　wouldn't　e。　〃We　saw…we　saw…　we　saw…〃
　Suddenly　she'd　said　to　him；　aloud；　〃What　was　the　name　of　that　picture　we　just　now　came　away　from？〃
　〃Good；〃　he　answered　instantly。　〃That's　it。　That's　a　good　idea。　I'll　give　you　one。　Keep　going　over　it。〃　It　took　him　a　moment　to　get　one　himself。　〃Mark　Stevens　in　I　Wonder　Who's　Kissing　Her　Now；〃　he　said　suddenly。　They'd　seen　that　together　back　in　the　sunlight；　a　thousand　years　ago　（last　Thursday）。　〃Start　in　at　the　beginning；　and　run　through　it。　If　you　get　stuck；　I'll　help　you　out。〃
　She　was　breathing　laboredly；　and　her　forehead　kept　getting　damp　again　all　the　time。　〃He　wrote　songs；〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃and　he　took　his　foster…sister　to　a…to　a　variety…show；　and　he　heard　one　of　them　sung　from　the　stage…〃
　The　car　made　a　turn；　and　the　two　heads　up　front　swung　together；　one　almost　landed　on　the　other's　shoulder。　Somebody　pried　them　apart。
　She　hurriedly　squeezed　her　eyes　shut　〃When…when　did　the　titlesong　e　into　it？〃　she　faltered。　〃Was　that　the　opening　number；　they　heard　from　the　gallery？〃
　He'd　halted　for　a　light；　and　a　taxicab　had　halted　beside　him；　wheel…cap　to　wheel…cap。　〃No；　that　was…〃　He　looked　at　the　taxicab。　〃That　was…〃　He　looked　at　the　taxicab　again；　the　way　you　look　vaguely　at　some　external　object　when　you're　trying　to　remember　something　that　has　nothing　to　do　with　it。　〃That　was　'Hello；　Ma　Baby。'　Cakewalk　number；　don't　you　remember？　The　title…song　didn't　e　until　the　end。　He　couldn't　get　words　for　it；　don't　you　remember？〃
　The　light　had　changed。　The　taxicab　had　slipped　on　ahead；　quicker　to　resume　motion。　She　crushed　the　back　of　her　hand　against　her　mouth；　sank　her　teeth　into　it　〃I　can't；〃　she　sighed　to　herself。　〃I　can't。〃　She　wanted　to　scream　to　him；　〃Oh；　open　the　door！　Let　me　out！　I'm　not　brave！　I　thought　I　could；　but　I　can't…I　don't　care；　only　let　me　get　out　of　here；　now；　right　where　we　are！〃
　Panic；　they　called　this　panic。
　She　bit　deeper　into　her　own　skin；　and　the　hot　frenzied　gush　subsided。
　He　was　going　a　little　faster　now。　But　not　too　fast；　not　fast　enough　to　attract　suspicion　or　catch　any　roving　eye。　They　were　in　the　outskirts　now；　running　along　the　turnpike　that　breasted　the　sunken　railroad　right…of…way。　You　were　supposed　to　'go　a　little　faster　along　there。
　It　took　her　several　moments　to　realize　that　the　chief　hazard　was　over。　That　they　were　already　out　of　Caulfield；　clear　of　it；　or　at　least　clear　of　its　built…up　heart　Nothing　had　happened。　No　untoward　event　They　hadn't　grazed　any　other　car。　No　policeman　had　e　near　them；　to　question　them　over　some　infraction；　to　look　into　the　car。　All　those　things　that　she　had　dreaded　so；　had　failed　to　materialize。　It　had　been　a　ride　pletely　without　incident　The　two　of　them　might　have　been　alone　in　the　car；　for　all　the　risk　they'd　run…　outwardly。　But　inwardly…
　She　felt　all　shrivelled…up　inside；　and　old；　as　though　there　were　permanent　wrinkles　on　her　heart。
　〃He　wasn't　the　only　one　that　died　tonight；〃　she　thought。　〃I　died　too；　somewhere　along　the　way；　in　this　car。　So　it　didn't　work；　it　was　all　for　nothing。　Better　to　have　stayed　back　there；　still　alive；　and　taken　the　blame　and　the　punishment〃
　They　were　out　in　open　country　now。　The　last　cardboard…box　factory；　kept　at　a　civic…minded　distance　away　from　the　city　limits；　the　last　disused…brewery　stack；　even　those　had　long　slipped　by。　The　embankment　that　carried　the　turnpike　had　started　a　very　gradual　rise；　the　broad　swath　of　railroad…tracks；　by　illusory　contrast；　seemed　to　depress　still　further。　The　neat；　clean…cut　concrete…facing　that　had　been　given　the　embankment　further　in　toward　town　didn't　extend　this　far　out；　here　there　was　just　a　natural　slope；　extremely　steep；　but　with　weeds　and　bushes　clinging　to　it。
　He'd　stopped　all　of　a　sudden；　for　no　apparent　reason。　Run　the　two　outside　wheels　off　the　road　on　the　railroad's　side；　and　stopped　there。　That　was　all　the　space　that　was　allowed；　just　two　wheels　of　the　car；　even　that　was　an　extremely　precarious　position　to　take。　The　downslope　began　almost　outside　the　car　door。
　〃Why　here？〃　she　whispered。
　He　poi