hh.thessrat.sings.the.blues-第6章

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　I　slammed　the　panel　shut　and　punched　in　a　mand。　A　cup　of　steaming　coffee　instantly　appeared。　Followed　by　a　porcuswinewich；　steaming　and　juicy。　The　Admiral　nodded。
　〃I'll　take　this　one…get　another　for　yourself。　Now　tell　me　your　plan。〃
　I　did。　Mumbling　through　mouthfuls　of　breakfast。
　〃We　are　going　to　spend　some　credits　out　of　the　mountains　of　money　that　we　have　access　to。　First　we　plant　some　news　items。　I　want　interviews；　reviews；　gossip　and　more…all　about　the　new　pop　group　that　is　the　hit　of　the　galaxy。〃
　He　scowled　and　growled。　〃What　pop　group？　What　in　hades　are　you　talking　about？〃
　〃The　planet…busting　hit　group　called　。　。　。〃
　〃Called　what？〃
　〃I　don't　know。　I　haven't　thought　about　it　yet。　Something　way　out　and　memorable。　Or　kinky。〃　I　smiled　and　raised　an　inspired　finger。　〃I　have　it！　Ready？　The　group　is　called　。　。　。　The　Stainless　Steel　Rats！〃
　〃Why？〃
　〃Why　not？〃
　The　Admiral　was　not　happy。　His　scowl　turned　to　a　snarl　and　he　jabbed　a　judgmental　finger　at　me。　〃More　coffee。　Then　tell　me　what　you　are。　talking　about　or　I　will　kill　you。〃
　〃Temper；　temper；　Admiral。　Remember　the　old　blood　pressure。　What　I　am　talking　about　is　getting　to　Liokukae　with　all　the　equipment　I　need；　along　with　some　strong…armed　help。　We　are　going　to　form　a　group　of　musicians　called　The　Stainless　Steel　Rats…〃
　〃What　musicians？〃
　〃Me　for　one…and　you　are　going　to　supply　me　with　the　rest。　You　did　tell　me　that　you　were　head　of　League　Navy　Security？〃
　〃I　did。　I　am。〃
　〃Then　summon　your　troops。　Get　one　of　your　techs　to　research　all　your　field　operators；　all　your　rankings　who　have　ever　served　in　what　passes　for　action　in　this　civilized　universe。　The　search　will　be　a　simple　one　because　we　want　to　know　just　one　single　fact　about　all　of　them。　Are　they　musically　inclined？　Can　they　play　a　musical　instrument；　sing；　dance；　whistle　or　even　hum　in　tune？　Get　the　list　and　we　will　have　our　band。〃
　He　nodded　over　his　coffee。　〃You're　beginning　to　make　sense。　A　pop　group　posed　only　of　security　agents。　But　it　will　take　time　to　put　together；　to　organize；　to　rehearse。〃
　〃Why？〃
　〃So　it　will　sound　good；　you　moron。〃
　〃Who　could　tell　the　difference？　Have　you　ever　listened　to　country…and…coal…mining　music？　Or　Aqua　Regia　and　her　Plutonium　Pals？〃
　〃Point　taken。　So　we　get　this　group　together　and　publicize　them　well　so　all　Liokukae　knows　about　them…〃
　〃And　has　heard　their　music…〃
　〃And　wants　to　hear　more。　On　tour。　Which　is　impossible。　The　planet　is　quarantined。〃
　〃That　is　the　beauty　of　my　plan；　Admiral。　When　the　publicity　peaks；　and　the　fame　of　the　group　is　galaxy…wide；　that　is　when　the　Rats　will　mit　some　crime　so　awful　that　they　will　instantly　be　shipped　off　to　this　prison　planet。　Where　they　will　be　received　with　great　enthusiasm。　And　no　suspicion。　Where　they　will　investigate　and　find　the　alien　artifact　and　get　it　back　so　I　can　have　the　antidote。　One　other　thing。　Before　we　start　operations　I　will　need　three　million　Interstellar　Credits。　In　coins　that　have　been　newly　minted　here。〃
　〃No　way；〃　he　snarled。　〃Funds　will　be　supplied　as　needed。〃
　〃You　missed　the　point。　That　is　my　fee　for　conducting　this　operation。　All　operating　expenses　are　on　top　of　that。　Pay　up　or　else。〃
　〃Or　else　what？〃
　〃Or　else　I　die　in　twenty…nine　days　and　the　operation　dies　and　you　get　a　black　mark　on　your　service　record。〃
　Self…interest　prodded　him　into　an　instant　decision。　〃Why　not。　Those　financially　overburdened　academics　can　afford　it　and　not　even　notice　it。　I'll　get　that　list　for　you。〃
　He　unclipped　his　phone　from　his　belt；　shouted　a　multi…digit　number　into　it；　then　barked　some　brief　mands。　Before　I　had　finished　my　coffee　the　printer　hummed　to　life　in　the　office；　sheets　of　paper　began　to　pile　up　in　the　bin。　We　went　through　them　and　ticked　off　a　number　of　possibilities。　There　were　no　names；　just　code　numbers。　When　this　was　done　I　passed　the　list　back　to　the　Admiral。
　〃We'll　need　plete　files　on　all　the　marked　ones。〃
　〃That　is　classified　and　secret　information。〃
　〃And　you　are　the　Admiral　and　you　can　get　it。〃
　〃I'll　get　it…and　censor　it。　There　is　no　way　I　am　going　to　let　you　know　any　details　of　my　Security　Department。〃
　〃Keep　your　secrets…I　couldn't　care　less。〃　Which　was　of　course　an　outright　lie。　〃Give　them　code　names　as　well　as　numbers；　conceal　their　identities。　All　I　want　to　know　is　their　musical　abilities；　and　will　they　be　any　good　in　the　field　when　the　going　gets　rough。〃
　This　took　a　bit　of　time。　I　went　for　a　long　jog　to　loosen　the　muscles。　Then；　while　my　clothes　were　being　zapped　clean　in　the　vacuum　washer；　I　took　a　hot　shower　followed　by　a　cold　one。　I　made　a　mental　note　to　get　some　more　clothes　soon…but　not　until　this　operation　was　up　and　running。　There　was　no　escaping　that　deadly　clock　that　was　ticking　off　the　seconds　to　doomsday。
　〃Here　is　the　list；〃　the　Admiral　said　when　I　entered　the　office。　〃No　names；　just　numbers。　Male　agents　are　identified　by　the　letter　A　and　。　。　。〃
　〃Let　me　guess…the　females　are　B？〃
　A　growl　was　his　only　response；　he　pletely　lacked　any　sense　of　humor。　I　flipped　through　the　list。　Slim　pickings　among　the　ladies　who　ran　the　gamut　from　B1　to　B4。　Pipe…organ　player；　not　very　likely；　harmonica；　tuba…and　a　singer。
　〃I'll　need　a　photograph　of　B3。　And　what　do　these　other　entries　after　B1　mean？　19T；　908L；　and　such。〃
　〃Code；〃　he　said；　grabbing　the　sheet　away　from　me。　〃It　translates　as　skilled　in　hand…to…hand　bat；　qualified　marksman　on　hand　weapons；　six　years　in　the　field。　And　the　rest　is　none　of　your　business。〃
　〃Thanks；　wonderful；　you're　a　big　help。　I　sure　could　use　her　but　not　if　she　has　to　carry　the　pipe　organ　on　her　back。　Now　let　us　make　some　selections　from　the　male　list　and　get　the　photos　ing。　Except　for　this　one；　A19。　No　photograph…I　just　want　him　here　soonest；　in　the　flesh。〃。
　〃Why？〃
　〃Because　he　is　a　percussionist　and　plays　a　molecular　synthezier。　Since　I　know　next　to　nothing　about　music　he　is　going　to　teach　me　my　job　in　this　pickup　band。　A19。　will　show　me　the　ropes；　then　record　the　numbers　and　set　up　the　machines　to　play　the　different　hunks　of　music。　I'll　just　smile　and　press　buttons。　Speaking　of　machines…does　your　highly　secret　service　have　electronic　repair　facilities　on　this　planet？〃
　〃That　is　classified　information。〃
　〃Everything　about　this　operation　is　classified。　But　I'll　still　need　to　do　some　electronic　work。　Here　or　someplace　else。　All　right？〃
　〃Facilities　will　be　made　available。〃
　〃Good。　And　tell　me…what　is　a　gastrophone；　or　a　bagpipe？〃
　〃I　haven't　the　slightest　idea。　Why？〃
　〃Because　they　are　listed　here　as　musical　skills　or　instruments　or　something。　I'll　need　to　know。〃
　Lubricated　by　all　the　credits　from　the　university；　manned　by　the　Admiral's　minions；　the　machinery　of　my　plan　began　to　churn　into　high　gear。　The　League　did　have　an　outpost　on　this　planet　…　disguised　as　an　interstellar　shipping　firm…which　contained　a　fully　equipped　machine　shop　and　electronic　facilities。
　The　fact　that　they　gave　me　full　use　of　everything　meant　that　it　would　undoubtedly　vanish　as　soon　as　this　operation　was　over。　While　the　auditions　were　being　arranged；　agent　A19　was　sent　for　by　the　fastest　…　transportation　available。　He　appeared；　slightly　glassy…eyed；　later　that　same　afternoon。
　〃You　are　known　to　me　only　by　the　code　reference　A19。　Could　you　give　me　a　slightly　better　name　to　call　you　by？　And　it　doesn't　have　to　be　your　own。〃
　He　was　a　big　man　with　a　big　jaw；　which　he　rubbed　as　he　kicked　his　brain　into　action。　that's　my　cousin's　name。　Call　me　Zach。〃
　〃Right　on；　Zach。　You　have　quite　a　musical　record。〃
　〃You　betcha。　I　worked　my　way　through　college　playing　in　the　band。　Still　do　a　gig　or　two　from　time　to　time。〃
　〃Then　you　have　the　job。　You　must　now　sally　forth　with　an　open　checkbook　and　buy　the　best；　most　expensive　and　plex　hunks　of　electronic　music　making　that　you　can　find。　And　they　have　to　be　the　most　pact　and　microminiaturized　ones　going。　Bring　them　back　and　I'll　make　it　all　smaller　since　everything　we　bring　with　us　has　to　be　carried　on　our　backs。　If　you。　can't　find　it　on　this　planet　use　galactic　mail　order。　Spend！　The　more　you　spend　the　better。〃
　His　eyes　glowed　with　musical　fervor。　〃Do　you　mean　that？〃
　〃Absolutely。　Check　with　Admiral　Benbow　who　will　authorize　all　expenses。　Go！〃
　He　went；　and　the　audi