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第35章

tp.lightfantastic-第35章

小说: tp.lightfantastic 字数: 每页4000字

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 The first postulates that many thousands of years ago there evolved somewhere in the multiverse a race whose single talent was to buy cheap and sell dear。 Soon they controlled a vast galactic empire or; as they put it; Emporium; and the more advanced members of the species found a way to equip their very shops with unique propulsion units that could break the dark walls of space itself and open up vast new markets。 And long after the orlds of the Emporium perished in the heat death of their particular universe; after one last defiant fire sale; the wandering starshops still ply their trade; eating their way through the pages of spacetime like a worm through a three…volume novel。
 The second is that they are the creation of a sympathetic Fate; charged with the role of supplying exactly the right thing at the right time。
 The third is that they are simply a very clever way of getting around the various Sunday Closing acts。
 All these theories; diverse as they are; have two things in mon。 They explain the observed facts; and they are pletely and utterly wrong。
 

 Rincewind opened his eyes and lay for a moment looking up at the stuffed reptile。 It was not the best thing to see when awakening from troubled dreams 。 。 。
 Magic! So that's what it felt like! No wonder wizards didn't have much truck with sex!
 Rincewind knew what orgasms were; of course; he'd had a few in his time; sometimes even in pany; but nothing in his experience even approximated to that tight; hot moment when every nerve in his body streamed with blue…white fire and raw magic had blazed forth from his fingers。 It filled you and lifted you and you surfed down the rising; curling wave of elemental force。 No wonder wizards fought for power 。 。 。
 And so on。 The Spell in his head had been doing it; though; not Rincewind。 He was really beginning to hate that Spell。 He was sure that if it hadn't frightened away all the other spells he'd tried to learn he could have been a decent wizard in his own right。 '
 Somewhere in Rincewind's battered soul the worm of rebellion flashed a fang。
 Right; he thought。 You're going back into the Octavo; first chance I get。
 He sat up。
 'Where the hell is this?' he said; grabbing his head to stop it exploding。
 'A shop;' said Twoflower mournfully。
 'I hope it sells knives because I think I'd like to cut my head off;' said Rincewind。 Something about the expression of the two opposite him sobered him up。
 'That was a joke;' he said。 'Mainly a joke; anyway。 Why are we in this shop?'
 'We can't get out;' said Bethan。
 'The door's disappeared;' added Twoflower helpfully。
 Rincewind stood up; a little shakily。
 'Oh;' he said。 'One of those shops?'
 'All right;' said the shopkeeper testily。 'It's magical; yes; it moves around; yes; no; I'm not telling you why …'
 'Can I have a drink of water; please?' said Rincewind。
 The shopkeeper looked affronted。
 'First no money; then they want a glass of water;' he snapped。 'That's just about …'
 Bethan snorted and strode across to the little man; who tried to back away。 He was too late。
 She picked him up by his apron straps and glared at him eye to eye。 Torn though her dress was; disarrayed though her hair was; she became for a moment the symbol of every woman who has caught a man with his thumb on the scales of life。
 'Time is money;' she hissed。 'I'll give you thirty seconds to get him a glass of water。 I think that's a bargain; don't you?'
 'I say;' Twoflower whispered。 'She's a real terror when she's roused; isn't she?'
 'Yes;' said Rincewind'; without enthusiasm。
 'All right; all right;' said the shopkeeper; visibly cowed。
 'And then you can let us out;' Bethan added。
 'That's fine by me; I wasn't open for business anyway; I just stopped for a few seconds to get my bearings and you barged in!'
 He grumbled off through the bead curtains and returned ith a cup of water。
 'I washed it out special;' he said; avoiding Bethan's gaze。
 Rincewind looked at the liquid in the cup。 It had probably been clean before it was poured in; now drinking it would be genocide for thousands of innocent germs。
 He put it down carefully。
 'Now I'm going to have a good wash!' stated Bethan; and stalked off through the curtain。
 The shopkeeper waved a hand vaguely and looked appealingly at Rincewind and Twoflower。
 'She's not bad;' said Twoflower。 'She's going to marry a friend of ours。'
 'Does he know?'
 'Things not so good in the starshop business?' said Rincewind; as sympathetically as he could manage。
 The little man shuddered。 'You wouldn't believe it;' he said。 'I mean; you learn not to expect much; you make a sale here and there; it's a living; you know what I mean? But these people you've got these days; the ones with these star things painted on their faces; well; I hardly have time to open the store and they're threatening to burn it down。 Too magical; they say。 So I say; of course magical; what else?'
 'Are there a lot of them about; then?' said Rincewind。
 'All over the Disc; friend。 Don't ask me why。'
 'They believe a star is going to crash into the Disc;' said Rincewind。
 'Is it?'
 'Lots of people think so。'
 That's a shame。 I've done good business here。 Too magical; they say! What's wrong with magic; that's what I'd like to know?'
 'What will you do?' said Twoflower。
 'Oh; go to some other universe; there's plenty around;' said the shopkeeper airily。 'Thanks for telling me about the star; though。 Can I drop you off somewhere?'
 The Spell gave Rincewind's mind a kick。
 ''Er; no;' he said; 'I think perhaps we'd better stay。 To ee it through; you know。'
 'You're not worried about this star thing; then?'
 'The star is life; not death;' said Riricewind。
 'How's that?'
 'How's what?'
 'You did it again!' said Twoflower; pointing an accusing finger。 'You say things and then don't know you've said them!'
 'I just said we'd better stay;' said Rincewind。
 'You said the star was life; not death;' said Twoflower。 'Your voice went all crackly and far away。 Didn't it?' He turned to the shopkeeper for confirmation。
 'That's true;' said the little man。 'I thought his eyes crossed a bit; too。'
 'It's the Spell; then;' said Rincewind。 'It's trying to take me over。 It knows what's going to happen; and I think it wants to go to Ankh…Morpork。 I want to go too;' he added defiantly。 'Can you get us there?'
 'Is that the big city on the Ankh? Sprawling place; smells of cesspits?'
 'It has an ancient and honourable history;' said Rincewind; his voice stiff with injured civic pride。
 'That's not how you described it to me;' said Twoflower。 'You told me it was the only city that actually started out decadent。'
 Rincewind looked embarrassed。 Yes; but; well; it's my home; don't you see?'
 'No;' said the shopkeeper; 'not really。 I always say home is where you hang your hat。'
 'Um; no;' said Twoflower; always anxious to enlighten。 'Where you hang your hat is a hatstand。 A home is …'
 'I'll just go and see about setting you on your way;' said the shopkeeper hurriedly; as Bethan came in。 He scooted past her。
 Twoflower followed him。
 On the other side of the curtain was a room with a small bed; a rather grubby stove; and a three…legged table。 Then the shopkeeper did something to the table; here was a noise like a cork ing reluctantly out of a bottle; and the room contained a wall…to…wall universe。
 'Don't be frightened;' said the shopkeeper; as stars streamed past。
 'I'm not frightened;' said Twoflower; his eyes sparkling。
 'Oh;' said the shopkeeper; slightly annoyed。 'Anyway; it's just imagery generated by the shop; it's not real。'
 'And you can go anywhere?'
 'Oh no;' said the shopkeeper; deeply shocked。 'There's all kinds of fail…safes built in; after all; there'd be no point in going somewhere with insufficient per capita disposable ine。 And there's got to be a suitable wall; of course。 Ah; here we are; this is your universe。 Very bijou; I always think。 A sort of universette 。 。 。'
 

 Here is the blackness of space; the myriad stars gleaming like diamond dust or; as some people would say; like great balls of exploding hydrogen a very long way off。 But then; some people would say anything。

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