tp.lightfantastic-第16章

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n't　anywhere　near　where　the　stones　said　it　should　be。
　But　what　was　there；　peeking　through　ragged　clouds；　was　a　glaring　red　star。　It　hung　exactly　over　the　circle's　holiest　stone；　glittering　away　like　the　sparkle　in　the　eyesocket　of　Death。　It　was　sullen　and　awful　and；　Rincewind　couldn't　help　noticing；　just　a　little　bit　bigger　than　it　was　last　night。
　A　cry　of　horror　went　up　from　the　assembled　priests。　The　crowd　on　the　surrounding　banks　pressed　forward；　this　looked　quite　promising。
　Rincewind　felt　a　knife　handle　slip　into　his　hand；　and　the　squelchy　voice　behind　him　said；　'You　ever　done　this　short　of　thing　before？'
　'What　sort　of　thing？'
　'Rushed　into　a　temple；　killed　the　prieshts；　shtolen　the　gold　and　reshcued　the　girl。'
　'No；　not　in　so　many　words。'
　'You　do　it　like　thish。'
　Two　inches　from　Rincewind's　left　ear　a　voice　broke　into　a　sound　like　a　baboon　with　its　foot　trapped　in　an　echo　canyon；　and　a　small　but　wiry　shape　rushed　past　him。
　By　the　light　of　the　torches　he　saw　that　it　was　a　very　old　man；　the　skinny　variety　that　generally　gets　called　'spry'；　with　a　totally　bald　head；　a　beard　almost　down　to　his　knees；　and　a　pair　of　matchstick　legs　on　which　varicose　veins　had　traced　the　street　map　of　quite　a　large　city。　Despite　the　snow　he　wore　nothing　more　than　a　studded　leather　holdall　and　a　pair　of　boots　that　could　have　easily　acmodated　a　second　pair　of　feet。
　The　two　druids　closest　to　him　exchanged　glances　and　hefted　their　sickles。　There　was　a　brief　blur　and　they　collapsed　into　tight　balls　of　agony；　making　rattling　noises。　In　the　excitement　that　followed　Rincewind　sidled　along　towards　the　altar　stone；　holding　his　knife　gingerly　so　as　not　to　attract　any　unwele　ment。　In　fact　no…one　was　paying　a　great　deal　of　attention　to　him；　the　druids　that　hadn't　fled　the　circle；　generally　the　younger　and　more　muscular　ones；　had　congregated　around　the　old　man　n　order　to　discuss　the　whole　subject　of　sacrilege　as　it　pertained　to　stone　circles；　but　judging　by　the　cackling　and　sounds　of　gristle　he　was　carrying　the　debate。
　Twoflower　was　watching　the　fight　with　interest。　Rincewind　grabbed　him　by　the　shoulder。
　'Let's　go；'　he　said。
　'Shouldn't　we　help？'
　'I'm　sure　we'd　only　get　in　the　way；'　said　Rincewind　hurriedly。　'You　know　what　it's　like　to　have　people　looking　over　your　shoulder　when　you're　busy。'
　'At　least　we　must　rescue　the　young　lady；'　said　Twoflower　firmly。
　'All　right；　but　get　a　move　on！'
　Twoflower　took　the　knife　and　hurried　up　to　the　altar　stone。　After　several　inept　slashes　he　managed　to　cut　the　ropes　that　bound　the　girl；　who　sat　up　and　burst　into　tears。
　'It's　all　right…'　he　began。
　'It　bloody　well　isn't！'　she　snapped；　glaring　at　him　through　two　red…rimmed　eyes。　Why　do　people　always　go　and　spoil　things？'　She　blew　her　nose　resentfully　on　the　edge　of　her　robe。
　Twoflower　looked　up　at　Rincewind　in　embarrassment。
　'Um；'　I　don't　think　you　quite　understand；'　he　said。　'I　mean；　we　just　saved　you　from　absolutely　certain　death。'
　'It's　not　easy　around　here；'　she　said。　'I　mean；　keeping　yourself…'　she　blushed；　and　twisted　the　hem　of　her　robe　wretchedly。　'I　mean；　staying　。　。　。　not　letting　yourself　be　。　。　。　not　losing　your　qualifications　。　。　。'
　'Qualifications？　said　Twoflower；　earning　the　Rincewind　Cup　for　the　slowest　person　on　the　uptake　in　the　entire　multiverse。　The　girl's　eyes　narrowed。
　'I　could　have　been　up　there　with　the　Moon　Goddess　by　now；　drinking　mead　out　of　a　silver　bowl；'　she　said　petulantly。　'Eight　years　of　staying　home　on　Saturday　nights　right　down　the　drain！'
　She　looked　up　at　Rincewind　and　scowled。
　Then　he　sensed　something。　Perhaps　it　was　a　barely　heard　footstep　behind　him；　perhaps　it　was　movement　reflected　n　her　eyes　…　but　he　ducked。
　Something　whistled　through　the　air　where　his　neck　had　been　and　glanced　off　Twoflower's　bald　head。　Rincewind　spun　round　to　see　the　archdruid　readying　his　sickle　for　another　swing　and；　in　the　absence　of　any　hope　of　running　away；　lashed　out　desperately　with　a　foot。
　It　caught　the　druid　squarely　on　the　kneecap。　As　the　man　screamed　and　dropped　his　weapon　there　was　a　nasty　little　fleshy　sound　and　he　fell　forward。　Behind　him　the　little　man　with　the　long　beard　pulled　his　sword　from　the　body；　wiped　it　with　a　handful　of　snow；　and　said；　'My　lumbago　is　giving　me　gyp。　You　can　carry　the　treashure。'
　'Treasure？'　said　Rincewind　weakly。
　'All　the　necklashes　and　shtuff。　All　the　gold　collarsh。　They've　got　lotsh　of　them。　Thatsh　prieshts　for　you；'　said　the　old　man　wetly。　'Nothing　but　torc；　torc；　torc。　Who'she　the　girl？'
　'She　won't　let　us　rescue　her；'　said　Rincewind。　The　girl　looked　at　the　old　man　defiantly　through　her　smudged　eyeshadow。
　'Bugger　that；'　he　said；　and　with　one　movement　picked　her　up；　staggered　a　little；　screamed　at　his　arthritis　and　fell　over。
　After　a　moment　he　said；　from　his　prone　position；　'Don't　just　shtand　there；　you　daft　bitcsh　…　help　me　up。'　Much　to　Rincewind's　amazement；　and　almost　certainly　to　hers　as　well；　she　did　so。
　Rincewind；　meanwhile；　was　trying　to　rouse　Twoflower。　There　was　a　graze　across　his　temple　which　didn't　look　too　deep；　but　the　little　man　was　unconscious　with　a　faintly　worried　smile　plastered　across　his　face。　His　breathing　was　shallow　and　…　strange。
　And　he　felt　light。　Not　simply　underweight；　but　weightless。　The　wizard　might　as　well　have　been　holding　a　shadow。　Rincewind　remembered　that　it　was　said　that　druids　used　strange　and　terrible　poisons。　Of　course；　it　was　often　said；　usually　by　the　same　people；　that　crooks　always　had　close…set　eyes；　lightning　never　struck　twice　in　the　same　lace　and　if　the　gods　had　wanted　men　to　fly　they'd　have　given　them　an　airline　ticket。　But　something　about　Twoflower's　lightness　frightened　Rincewind。　Frightened　him　horribly。
　He　looked　up　at　the　girl。　She　had　the　old　man　slung　over　one　shoulder；　and　gave　Rincewind　an　apologetic　half…smile。　From　somewhere　around　the　small　of　her　back　a　voice　said；　'Got　everything？　Letsh　get　out　of　here　before　they　e　back。'
　Rincewind　tucked　Twoflower　under　one　arm　and　jogged　along　after　them。　It　seemed　the　only　thing　to　do。
　

　The　old　man　had　a　large　white　horse　tethered　to　a　withered　tree　in　a　snow…filled　gully　some　way　from　the　circles。　It　was　sleek；　glossy　and　the　general　effect　of　a　superb　battle　charger　was　only　very　slightly　spoiled　by　the　haemorrhoid　ring　tied　to　the　saddle。
　'Okay；　put　me　down。　There'sh　a　bottle　of　shome　linament　shtuff　in　the　shaddle　bag；　if　you　wouldn't　mind　。　。　。'　Rincewind　propped　Twoflower　as　nicely　as　possible　against　the　tree；　and　by　moonlight　…　and；　he　realised；　by　the　faint　red　light　of　the　menacing　new　star　…　took　the　first　real　look　at　his　rescuer。
　The　man　had　only　one　eye；　the　other　was　covered　by　a　black　patch。　His　thin　body　was　a　network　of　scars　and；　currently；　twanging　white…hot　with　tendonitis。　His　teeth　had　obviously　decided　to　quit　long　ago。
　'Who　are　you？'　he　said。
　'Bethan；'　said　the　girl；　rubbing　a　handful　of　nasty…smelling　green　ointment　into　the　old　man's　back。　She　wore　the　air　of　one　who；　if　asked　to　consider　what　sort　of　events　might　occur　after　being　rescued　from　virgin　sacrifice　by　a　hero　with　a　white　charger；　would　probably　not　have　mentioned　linament；　but　who；　now　linament　was　apparently　what　did　happen　to　you　after　all；　was　determined　to　be　good　at　it。
　'I　meant　him；'　said　Rincewind。
　One　star…bright　eye　looked　up　at　him。
　'Cohen　ish　my　name；　boy。'　Bethan's　hands　stopped　moving。
　'Cohen？'　she　said。　'Cohen　the　Barbarian？'
　'The　very　shame。'
　'Hang　on；　hang　on；'　said　Rincewind。　'Cohen's　a　great　big　chap；　neck　like　a　bull；　got　chest　muscles　like　a　sack　of　footballs。　I　mean；　he's　the　Disc's　greatest　warrior；　a　legend　in　his　own　lifetime。　I　remember　my　grandad　telling　me　he　saw　him　。　。　。　my　grandad　telling　me　he　。　。　。　my　grandad　。　。　。'
　He　faltered　under　the　gimlet　gaze。
　'Oh；'　he　said。　'Oh。　Of　course。　Sorry。'
　'Yesh；'　said　Cohen；　and　sighed。　Thatsh　right；　boy。　I'm　a　lifetime　in　my　own　legend。'
　'Gosh；'　said　Rincewind。　'How　old　are　you；　exactly？'
　'Eighty…sheven。'
　'But　you　were　the　greatest！'　said　Bethan。　'Bards　still　sing　songs　about　you。'
　Cohen　shrugged；　and　gave　a　little　yelp　of　pain。
　'I　never　get　any　royaltiesh；'　he　said。　He　looked　moodily　at　the　snow。　That'sh　the　shaga　o