tp.lightfantastic-第10章

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　Swires　and　Rincewind's　kneecap　exchanged　glances。
　'I　think　you　must　be　thinking　about　different　elves；'　the　gnome　said　slowly。　'We've　just　got　the　other　sort　around　here。　Not　that　you　could　call　them　quick…tempered；'　he　added　hastily。　'Not　if　you　didn't　want　to　take　your　teeth　home　in　your　hat；　anyway。'
　There　was　the　tiny；　distinctive　sound　of　a　nougat　door　opening。　At　the　same　time；　from　the　other　side　of　the　cottage；　came　the　faintest　of　tinkles；　like　a　rock　smashing　a　barley　sugar　window　as　delicately　as　possible。
　'What　was　that？'　said　Twoflower。
　'Which　one？'　said　Rincewind。
　There　was　the　clonk　of　a　heavy　branch　banging　against　the　window　sill。　With　a　cry　of　'Elves！'　Swires　scuttled　across　the　floor　to　a　mousehole　and　vanished。
　'What　shall　we　do？'　said　Twoflower。
　'Panic？'　said　Rincewind　hopefully。　He　always　held　that　panic　was　the　best　means　of　survival；　back　in　the　olden　days；　his　theory　went；　people　faced　with　hungry　sabre…toothed　tigers　could　be　divided　very　simply　into　those　who　panicked　and　those　who　stood　there　saying　'What　a　magnificent　brute！'　and　'Here；　pussy。'
　'There's　a　cupboard；'　said　Twoflower；　pointing　to　a　narrow　door　that　was　squeezed　between　the　wall　and　the　chimneybreast。　They　scrambled　into　sweet；　musty　darkness。
　There　was　the　creak　of　a　chocolate　floorboard　outside。　Someone　said　'I　heard　voices。'
　Someone　else　said；　'Yeah；　downstairs。　I　think　it's　the　Hood　winkers。'
　'I　thought　you　said　we'd　given　them　the　slip！'
　'Hey；　you　two；　you　can　eat　this　place！　Here；　look　you　can　…'
　'Shut　up！'
　There　was　a　lot　more　creaking；　and　a　muffled　scream　from　downstairs　where　a　Venerable　Seer；　creeping　carefully　through　the　darkness　from　the　broken　window；　had　trodden　on　the　fingers　of　a　Hoodwinker　who　was　hiding　under　the　table。　There　was　the　sudden　zip　and　zing　of　magic。
　'Bugger！'said　a　voice　outside。　They've　got　him！　Let's　go！'
　There　was　more　creaking；　and　then　silence。　After　a　while　Twoflower　said；　'Rincewind；　I　think　there's　a　broomstick　in　this　cupboard。'
　Well；　what's　so　unusual　about　that？'
　This　one's　got　handlebars。'
　There　was　a　piercing　shriek　from　below。　In　the　darkness　a　wizard　had　tried　to　open　the　Luggage's　lid。　A　crash　from　the　scullery　indicated　the　sudden　arrival　of　a　party　of　Illuminated　Mages　of　the　Unbroken　Circle。
　'What　do　you　think　they're　after？'　whispered　Twoflower。
　'I　don't　know；　but　I　think　it　might　be　a　good　idea　not　to　find　out；'　said　Rincewind　thoughtfully。
　'You　could　be　right。'
　Rincewind　pushed　open　the　door　gingerly。　The　room　was　empty。　He　tiptoed　across　to　the　window；　and　looked　own　into　the　upturned　faces　of　three　Brothers　of　the　Order　of　Midnight。
　'That's　him！'
　He　drew　back　hurriedly　and　rushed　for　the　stairs。
　The　scene　below　was　indescribable　but　since　that　statement　would　earn　the　death　penalty　in　the　reign　of　Olaf　Quimby　II　the　attempt　better　be　made。　Firstly；　most　of　the　struggling　wizards　were　trying　to　illuminate　the　scene　by　various　flames；　fireballs　and　magical　glows；　so　the　overall　lighting　gave　the　impression　of　a　disco　in　a　strobelight　factory；　each　man　was　trying　to　find　a　position　from　which　he　could　see　the　rest　of　the　room　without　being　attacked　himself；　and　absolutely　everyone　was　trying　to　keep　out　of　the　way　of　the　Luggage；　which　had　two　Venerable　Seers　pinned　in　a　corner　and　was　snapping　its　lid　at　anyone　who　approached。　But　one　wizard　did　happen　to　look　up。
　'It's　him！'
　Rincewind　jerked　back；　and　something　bumped　into　him。　He　looked　around　hurriedly；　and　stared　when　he　saw　Twoflower　sitting　on　the　broomstick　…　which　was　floating　in　mid…air。
　'The　witch　must　have　left　it　behind！'　said　Twoflower。　'A　genuine　magic　broomstick！'
　Rincewind　hesitated。　Octarine　sparks　were　spitting　off　the　broomstick's　bristles　and　he　hated　heights　almost　more　than　anything　else；　but　what　he　really　hated　more　than　anything　at　all　was　a　dozen　very　angry　and　bad…tempered　wizards　rushing　up　the　stairs　towards　him；　and　this　was　happening。
　'All　right；'　he　said；　'but　I'll　drive。'
　He　lashed　out　with　a　boot　at　a　wizard　who　was　halfway　through　a　Spell　of　Binding　and　jumped　onto　the　broomstick；　which　bobbed　down　the　stairwell　and　then　turned　upside　down　so　that　Rincewind　was　horribly　eye　to　eye　with　a　Brother　of　Midnight。
　He　yelped　and　gave　the　handlebars　a　convulsive　twist。
　Several　things　happened　at　once。　The　broomstick　shot　orward　and　broke　through　the　wall　in　a　shower　of　crumbs：　the　Luggage　surged　forward　and　bit　the　Brother　in　the　leg：　and　with　a　strange　whistling　sound　an　arrow　appeared　from　nowhere；　missed　Rincewind　by　inches；　and　struck　the　Luggage's　lid　with　a　very　solid　thud。　The　Luggage　vanished。
　

　In　a　little　village　deep　in　the　forest　an　ancient　shaman　threw　a　few　more　twigs　on　his　fire　and　stared　through　the　smoke　at　his　shamefaced　apprentice。
　'A　box　with　legs　on？'　he　said。
　'Yes；　master。　It　just　appeared　out　of　the　sky　and　looked　at　me；'　said　the　apprentice。
　'It　had　eyes　then；　this　box？'
　'N…；'　began　the　apprentice　and　stopped；　puzzled。　The　old　man　frowned。
　'Many　have　seen　Topaxci；　God　of　the　Red　Mushroom；　and　they　earn　the　name　of　shaman；'　he　said。　'Some　have　seen　Skelde；　spirit　of　the　smoke；　and　they　are　called　sorcerers。　A　few　have　been　privileged　to　see　Umcherrel；　the　soul　of　the　forest；　and　they　are　known　as　spirit　masters。　But　none　have　seen　a　box　with　hundreds　of　legs　that　looked　at　them　without　eyes；　and　they　are　known　as　idio…'
　The　interruption　was　caused　by　a　sudden　screaming　noise　and　a　flurry　of　snow　and　sparks　that　blew　the　fire　across　the　dark　hut；　there　was　a　brief　blurred　vision　and　then　the　opposite　wall　was　blasted　aside　and　the　apparition　vanished。
　There　was　a　long　silence。　Then　a　slightly　shorter　silence。　Then　the　old　shaman　said　carefully；　'You　didn't　just　see　two　men　go　through　upside　down　on　a　broomstick；　shouting　and　screaming　at　each　other；　did　you？'
　The　boy　looked　at　him　levelly。　'Certainly　not；'　he　said。
　The　old　man　heaved　a　sigh　of　relief。　Thank　goodness　for　that；'　he　said。　'Neither　did　I。'
　

　The　cottage　was　in　turmoil；　because　not　only　did　the　wizards　want　to　follow　the　broomstick；　they　also　wanted　to　prevent　each　other　from　doing　so；　and　this　led　to　several　regrettable　incidents。The　most　spectacular；　and　certainly　the　most　tragic；　happened　when　one　Seer　attempted　to　use　his　seven　league　boots　without　the　proper　sequence　of　spells　and　preparations。　Seven　league　boots；　as　has　already　been　intimated；　are　a　tricksy　form　of　magic　at　best；　and　he　remembered　too　late　that　the　utmost　caution　must　be　taken　in　using　a　means　of　transport　which；　when　all　is　said　and　done；　relies　for　its　effectiveness　on　trying　to　put　one　foot　twenty…one　miles　in　front　of　the　other。
　

　The　first　snowstorms　of　winter　were　raging；　and　in　fact　there　was　a　suspiciously　heavy　covering　of　cloud　over　most　of　the　Disc。　And　yet；　from　far　above　and　by　the　silver　light　of　the　discworld's　tiny　moon；　it　presented　one　of　the　most　beautiful　sights　in　the　multiverse。
　Great　streamers　of　cloud；　hundreds　of　miles　along；　swirled　from　the　waterfall　at　the　Rim　to　the　mountains　of　the　Hub。　In　the　cold　crystal　silence　the　huge　white　spiral　glittered　frostily　under　the　stars；　imperceptibly　turning；　very　much　as　though　God　had　stirred　His　coffee　and　then　poured　the　cream　in。
　Nothing　disturbed　the　glowing　scene；　which　…
　Something　small　and　distant　broke　through　the　cloud　layer；　trailing　shreds　of　vapour。　In　the　stratospheric　calm　the　sounds　of　bickering　came　sharp　and　clear。
　'You　said　you　could　fly　one　of　these　things！'
　'No　I　didn't；　I　just　said　you　couldn't！'
　'But　I've　never　been　on　one　before！'
　'What　a　coincidence！'
　'Anyway；　you　said…　look　at　the　sky！'
　'No　I　didn't！'
　'What's　happened　to　the　stars？'
　And　so　it　was　that　Rincewind　and　Twoflower　became　the　first　two　people　on　the　Disc　to　see　what　the　future　held。
　A　thousand　miles　behind　them　the　Hub　mountain　of　Cori　Celesti　stabbed　the　sky　and　cast　a　knife…bright　shadow　across　the　broiling　clouds；　so　that　Gods　ought　to　have　noticed　too　…　but　the　Gods　don't　normally　look　at　the　sky　and　in　any　case　were　engaged　in　litigation　with　the　Ice　Giants；　who　had　refused　to　turn　their　radio　down。
　Rimwards；　in