mck.harpistinthewind-第13章
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't been home to Kraal in months； and I need some idle。。。〃
Morgon jerked out of his hold。 His elbow hit the beer； splashing it across the table into the lap of a horse trader； who rose； cursing。 Something in Morgon's face； of power or despair； quelled his first impulse。 〃That's no way to treat fine beer；〃 he said darkly。 〃Or the offer of it。 How have you managed to live as long as you have； picking quarrels out of thin air？〃
〃I mind my own business；〃 Morgon said curtly。 He tossed a coin on the table and went back into the dusk。 His own rudeness lay like a bad taste in his mouth。 Memories stirred up by the singers hovered in the back of his mind； light gathering on his sword blade； the harpist's face turning upward to meet it。 He walked quickly through the trees； cursing the length of the road； the dust on it； the stars on his face； and all the shadows of memory he could not outrun。
He nearly walked through their camp before he recognized it。 He stopped； bewildered。 Raederle and both the horses were gone。 For a second he wondered if something he had done had offended her so badly that she decided to ride both horses back to Anuin。 The packs and saddles lay where he had left them； there was no sign of a struggle； no flurries of dead leaves or singed oakroots。 Then he heard her call him and saw her stumbling across a shallow section of the river。
There were tears on her face。 〃Morgon； I was beside the river getting water when two men rode past me。 They nearly ran me down。 I was so furious I didn't even realize they were riding our horses until they reached the far side。 So I。。。〃
〃You ran after them？〃 he said incredulously。
〃I thought they might slow down； through the trees。 But they started to gallop。 I'm sorry。〃
〃They'll get a good price for them in Ymris；〃 Morgon said grimly。
〃Morgon； they're not a mile away。 You could get them back easily。〃
He hesitated； looking at her angry； tired face。 Then he turned away from her； picked up their food pack。 〃Heureu's army needs them more than we do。〃
He felt her sudden silence at his back like something tangible。 He opened the pack and cursed himself again； realizing he had forgotten to buy their supplies。
She said softly； 〃Are you telling me we are going to walk all the way to Lungold？〃
〃If you want。〃 His fingers were shaking slightly on the pack ties。
He heard her move finally。 She went back down to the river to get their water skin。 She said when she returned； her voice inflectionless； 〃Did you bring wine？〃
〃I forgot it。 I forgot everything。〃 He turned then； blazing into argument before she could speak。 〃And I can't go back。 Not without getting into a tavern brawl。〃
〃Did I ask you to？ I wasn't even going to ask。〃 She dropped down beside the fire； tossed a twig in it。 〃I lost the horses； you forgot the food。 You didn't blame me。〃 She dropped her face suddenly against her knees。 〃Morgon；〃 she whispered。 〃I'm sorry。 I will crawl to Lungold before I change shape。〃
He stood gazing down at her。 He turned； paced a half…circle around the fire； and stared into the gnarled； haggard eye of a tree bole。 He tilted his face against it； felt it gazing into him； at all the twisted origins of his own power。 For a moment doubt bit into him； that he was wrong to demand such a thing of her； that even his own power； wrested out of himself by such dark circumstances； was suspect。 The uncertainty died slowly； leaving； as always； the one thing he grasped with any certainty： the fragile； imperative Structure of riddlery。
〃You can't run from yourself。〃
〃You are running。 Maybe not from yourself； but from the riddle at your back that you never face。〃
He lifted his head wearily； looked at her。 He moved after a moment； stirred the lagging fire。 〃I'll catch some fish。 Tomorrow morning； I'll go back to the inn； get what we need。 Maybe I can sell the saddles there。 We can use the money。 It's a long walk to Lungold。〃
They scarcely spoke at all the next day。 The summer heat poured down at them； even when they walked among the trees beside the road。 Morgon carried both their packs。 He had not realized until then how heavy they were。 The straps wore at his shoulders as their quarrelling chafed at his mind。 Raederle offered to carry one； but he refused with something kin to anger； and she did not suggest it again。 At noon； they ate with their feet in the river。 The cold water soothed them； and they spoke a little。 The road in the afternoon was fairly quiet； they could hear the creak of cartwheels long before the carts came into view。 But the heat was intense； almost unbearable。 Finally they gave up； trudged along the rough river bank until twilight。
They found a place to camp； then。 Morgon left Raederle sitting with her feet in the river and went hunting in falcon…shape。 He killed a hare dreaming in the last rays of the sun on a meadow。 Returning； he found Raederle where he had left her。 He cleaned the hare； hung it on a spit of green wood above the fire。 He watched Raederle； she sat staring down at the water； not moving。 He said her name finally。
She got up； stumbling a little on the bank。 She joined him slowly； sitting down close to the fire； drawing her damp skirt tightly under her feet。 In the firelight； he took a good look at her； forgetting to turn the spit。 Her face was very still； there were tiny lines of pain under her eyes。 He drew a sudden breath； her eyes met his； holding a clear and definite warning。 But the worry in him blazed out in spite of her。
〃Why didn't you tell me you were in that much pain？ Let me see your feet。〃
〃Leave me alone！〃 The fierceness in her voice startled him。 She was huddled over herself。 〃I told you I would walk to Lungold； and I will。〃
〃How？〃 He stood up； anger at himself beating in his throat。 〃I'll find a horse for you。〃
〃With what？ We couldn't sell the saddles。〃
〃I'll change into one。 You can ride on my back。〃
〃No。〃 Her voice was shaken with the same； strange anger。 〃You will not。 I'm not going to ride you all the way to Lungold。 I said I will walk。〃
〃You can hardly walk ten feet！〃
〃I'll do it anyway。 If you don't turn the spit； you'll burn our supper。〃
He did not move； she leaned forward and turned it herself。 Her hand was trembling。 As the lights and shadows melted over her； he wondered suddenly if he knew her at all。 He pleaded； 〃Raederle； what in Hel's name will you do？ You can't walk like that。 You won't ride； you won't change shape。 Do you want to go back to Anuin？〃
〃No。〃 Her voice flinched on the word； as if he had hurt her。 〃Maybe I'm no good with riddles； but I do keep vows。〃
〃How much of your honor can you place in Ylon's name when you give him and his heritage nothing but hatred？〃
She bent again； to turn the spit； he thought； but instead she grasped a handful of fire。 〃He was King of An； once。 There is some honor in that。〃 Her voice was shaking badly。 She shaped a wedge of fire； spun thread…thin strings down from it through her fingers。 〃I swore in his name I would never let you leave me。〃 He realized suddenly what she was making。 She finished it； held it out to him： a harp made of fire； eating at the darkness around her hand。 〃You're the riddler。 If you have such faith in riddles； you show me。 You can't even face your own hatred； and you give me riddles to answer。 There's a name for a man like you。〃
〃Fool；〃 he said without touching the harp。 He watched the light leap soundlessly down the strings。 〃At least I know my name。〃
〃You are the Star…Bearer。 Why can't you leave me alone to make my own choices？ What I am doesn't matter。〃
He stared at her over the flaming harp。 Something he said or thought without realizing it snapped the harp to pieces in her hand。 He reached across the fire； gripped her shoulders； and pulled her to her feet。
〃How can you say that to me？ What in Hel's name are you afraid of？〃
〃Morgon。。。〃
〃You're not going to change shape into something neither of us will recognize！〃
〃Morgon。〃 She was shaking him suddenly； trying to ma
