lhamilton.thekillingdance-第56章

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　〃What　are　you　thinking；　Anita？〃
　〃That　maybe　you're　right　and　the　rest　of　us　are　wrong。〃
　〃About　what？〃
　〃Maybe　you　shouldn't　kill　Marcus。〃
　Richard's　eyes　widened。　〃I　thought　you　were　angry　with　me　for　not　killing　Marcus。〃
　〃It's　not　killing　Marcus。　It's　endangering　everybody　by　not　killing　Marcus。〃　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　don't　see　the　difference。〃
　〃The　difference　is　that　killing　is　a　means　to　an　end；　not　an　end　in　itself。　I　want　you　alive。　Marcus　gone。　The　pack　members　that　follow　you　safe。　I　don't　want　you　to　have　to　torture　the　pack　to　keep　your　place。　If　we　can　acplish　all　that　without　you　having　to　kill　anyone；　I'm　okay　with　that。　I　don't　think　there's　an　option　that　doesn't　involve　killing。　But　if　you　can　e　up　with　one；　I'll　support　you。〃
　He　studied　my　face。　〃Are　you　telling　me　that　you　think　I　shouldn't　kill　now？〃
　〃Yeah。〃
　He　laughed；　but　it　was　with　more　irony　than　humor。　〃I　don't　know　whether　to　yell　at　you　or　hug　you。〃
　〃I　affect　a　lot　of　people　that　way；〃　I　said。　〃Look；　when　we　went　to　rescue　Stephen；　you　should　have　called　a　few　people。　Gone　into　the　situation　from　a　position　of　strength；　with　three　or　four　lieutenants　at　your　back。　There　is　a　promise　between　playing　Sir　Lancelot　and　being　Vlad　the　Impaler。〃
　He　sat　down　on　the　edge　of　the　bed。　〃Being　able　to　feed　power　through　my　blood　is　a　rare　talent。　It's　impressive；　but　it　won't　be　enough。　I'd　have　to　have　some　major　scary　stuff　to　get　Marcus　and　Raina　to　back　down。　I'm　powerful；　Anita；　really　powerful。〃　He　said　it　like　it　was　simply　the　truth；　no　ego；　no　pride。　〃But　it's　not　that　kind　of　powerful。〃
　I　sat　down　beside　him。　〃I'll　do　anything　I　can；　Richard。　Just　promise　me　you　won't　be　careless。〃
　He　smiled；　but　it　didn't　reach　his　eyes。　〃I　won't　be　careless　if　you'll　kiss　me。〃
　We　kissed。　The　taste　of　him　was　warm　and　sure；　but　underneath　it　was　the　sweet　salt　of　blood；　and　Jason's　aftershave。　I　drew　away　from　him。
　〃What's　wrong？〃
　I　shook　my　head。　Telling　him　I　could　taste　other　people's　blood　in　his　mouth　was　not　going　to　be　helpful。　We　were　going　to　work　so　he　didn't　have　to　do　things　like　that。　It　wasn't　his　beast　that　would　steal　his　humanity；　it　was　a　thousand　smaller　things。
　〃Change　for　me；〃　I　said。
　〃What？〃
　〃Change　for　me；　here；　now。〃
　He　stared　at　me；　as　if　trying　to　read　something　in　my　face。　〃Why　now？〃
　〃Let　me　see　all　of　you；　Richard；　the　whole　package。〃
　〃If　you　don't　want　Jean…Claude　sharing　the　bed；　you　don't　want　a　wolf　in　bed　with　you；　either。〃
　〃You　wouldn't　you　be　trapped　in　wolf　form　until　morning；　you　said　so　earlier。〃
　〃No；　I　wouldn't；〃　he　said　softly。
　〃If　you　change　tonight；　and　I　can　accept　it；　we　can　make　love。　We　can　start　planning　the　wedding。〃
　He　laughed。　〃Can　I　kill　Marcus　before　I　have　to　kill　Jean…Claude？〃
　〃Jean…Claude　promised　not　to　hurt　you；〃　I　said。
　Richard　went　very　still。　〃You've　already　talked　to　him　about　this？〃
　I　nodded。
　〃Why　wasn't　he　angry　with　me？〃
　〃He　said　he'd　step　aside　if　he　couldn't　win　me；　so　he's　stepping　aside。〃　I　didn't　add　the　part　about　Jean…Claude　loving　me。　Save　it　for　later。
　〃Call　your　beast；　Richard。〃
　He　shook　his　head。　〃It　isn't　just　my　beast；　Anita。　It's　the　lukoi；　the　pack。　You　have　to　see　them；　too。〃
　〃I've　seen　them。〃
　He　shook　his　head。　〃You　haven't　seen　us　at　the　lupanar。　Our　place　of　power。　We're　real　there；　no　pretense；　not　even　to　ourselves。〃
　〃I've　just　told　you　that　I　want　to　marry　you。　Did　you　pick　up　on　that？〃　I　asked。
　Richard　stood。　〃I　want　to　marry　you；　Anita；　more　than　almost　anything　in　the　world。　I　want　you　so　badly　my　body　aches　with　it。　I　don't　trust　myself　to　be　here　tonight。〃
　〃We've　managed　to　stay　chaste　so　far；〃　I　said。
　〃By　the　skin　of　our　teeth。〃　He　picked　up　his　overnight　case。　〃The　lukoi　call　sex　the　killing　dance。〃
　〃So？〃
　〃We　use　the　same　phrase　for　battles　of　succession。〃
　〃I　still　don't　understand　the　problem。〃
　He　stared　at　me。　〃You　will。　God　help　us　both。　You　will。〃
　There　was　something　so　sad；　so　wistful　about　him　suddenly；　that　I　didn't　want　to　let　him　go。　Tomorrow　he'd　face　Marcus；　and　just　because　he'd　agreed　to　kill　didn't　mean　he　could。　When　the　moment　came；　I　didn't　trust　him　not　to　flinch。　I　didn't　want　to　lose　him。
　〃Stay　with　me；　Richard。　Please。〃
　〃It　wouldn't　be　fair　to　you。〃
　〃Don't　be　such　a　frigging　boy　scout。〃
　He　smiled　and　gave　a　very　bad　Popeye　imitation；　〃I　am　what　I　am。〃　He　closed　the　door　behind　him。　I　didn't　even　get　to　kiss　him　good…bye。
　
　
　24
　
　I　woke　to　darkness　and　someone　bending　over　me。　I　couldn't　really　see；　but　I　felt　something　in　the　air　above　me　like　a　weight。　My　hand　slid　under　the　pillow　and　came　out　with　the　Firestar。　I　shoved　the　gun　into　whoever　it　was；　and　they　were　gone　like　a　dream。　I　slid　off　the　bed；　pressing　my　back　against　the　wall；　making　myself　as　small　a　target　as　possible。
　A　voice　came　out　of　the　darkness。　I　aimed　for　it；　straining　my　ears　for　sounds　of　more　intruders。
　〃It's　Cassandra。　The　light　switch　is　above　you。　I'll　stay　right　here　while　you　turn　on　the　lights。〃　Her　voice　was　low；　even；　the　sort　of　voice　you　used　for　crazy　people；　or　people　who　had　guns　pointed　at　you。
　I　swallowed　past　my　pulse　and　scooted　my　back　up　the　wall。　I　swiped　my　left　hand　up　the　wall　until　it　hit　the　switch　plate；　then　I　knelt　back　down；　fingers　touching　the　switch。　When　I　was　as　far　down　as　I　could　get　and　still　turn　on　the　light；　I　hit　it。　Light　flared。　There　was　a　moment　of　dazzling　blindness　while　I　hunkered　on　the　floor；　gun　pointed　blindly。　When　I　could　see；　Cassandra　stood　near　the　foot　of　the　bed；　hands　out　to　either　side；　staring　at　me。　Her　eyes　were　a　little　too　wide。　The　lace　on　her　Victorian　nightgown　fluttered　with　her　breath。
　Yes；　Victorian　nightgown。　She　looked　delicate；　doll…like。　I'd　asked　her　last　night　if　Jean…Claude　picked　out　the　gown。　No；　she'd　picked　it　out。　Each　to　their　own。
　She　stood　on　the　carpet；　frozen；　staring。　〃Anita；　are　you　all　right？〃　Her　tone　said　she　didn't　think　so。
　I　took　a　deep　breath　and　pointed　the　gun　at　the　ceiling。　〃Yeah；　I'm　all　right。〃
　〃Can　I　move？〃
　I　stood；　holding　the　gun　at　my　side。　〃Don't　try　to　touch　me　when　I'm　in　a　sound　sleep。　Say　something　first。〃
　〃I'll　remember　that；〃　she　said。　〃May　I　move？〃
　〃Sure。　What's　up？〃　I　asked。
　〃Richard　and　Jean…Claude　are　outside。〃
　I　checked　my　watch。　It　was　one　o'clock　in　the　afternoon。　I'd　had　nearly　six　hours　of　sleep。　Or　would　have　had　if　Cassandra　and　I　hadn't　talked　for　an　hour。　I　hadn't　had　a　sleep…over　in　years；　and　frankly；　girl　or　no；　she　was　still　a　lycanthrope　that　I'd　met　only　that　night。　It　felt　strange　to　trust　her　at　my　back　as　my　bodyguard。　I've　never　been　too　fond　of　sleeping　with　strangers。　It's　not　sexual。　It's　plain　suspicion。　Being　deeply　asleep　is　as　helpless　as　most　of　us　get。
　〃What　do　they　want？〃
　〃Richard　said　he　has　a　plan。〃
　I　didn't　need　to　ask　what　plan。　There　was　only　one　thing　on　his　mind　the　day　of　the　full　moon：　Marcus。
　〃Tell　them　I'm　getting　dressed　first。〃　I　went　for　my　suitcase。　Cassandra　padded　to　the　door。　She　opened　it　only　a　crack；　speaking　softly。　She　closed　it　firmly　behind　her　and　came　back　to　me。　She　looked　puzzled。　In　the　nightgown　with　a　puzzled　frown　on　her　face；　she　looked　about　twelve。
　I　knelt　by　the　suitcase；　clothes　in　my　hands；　looking　up　at　her。　〃What　now？〃
　〃Jean…Claude　said　not　to　bother　getting　dressed。〃
　I　stared　at　her　for　a　heartbeat。　〃Yeah；　right。　I'm　getting　dressed。　They　can　just　bloody　well　wait　that　long。〃
　She　nodded　and　went　back　to　the　door。
　I　went　for　the　bathroom。　I　stared　at　myself　in　the　mirror。　I　looked　as　tired　as　I　felt。　I　brushed　teeth；　took　care　of　necessities；　and　wished　for　a　shower。　It　would　have　helped　wake　me　up。　I　could　have　run　a　bath；　but　I　wasn't　sure　the　boys　would　last　that　long。　Besides；　a　bath　was　something　I　did　to　get　ready　for　bed；　not　for　waking　up。　I　needed　something　stimulating；　not　something　soothing。
　Richard　had　a　plan；　but　Jean…Claude　was　with　him。　That　meant　that　the　vampire　had　helped　e　up　with　the　plan。　It　was　a　scary　thought。
　Tonight　Richard　would　fight　Marcus。　He　could　be　dead　by　tomorrow。　The　thought　made　my　chest　tight。　There　was　a　pressure　behind　my　eyes　that　had　more　to　d