lhamilton.thekillingdance-第18章

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　〃What's　wrong？〃　I　lowered　the　gun　to　my　side；　and　he　watched　me　do　it。
　〃Richard　went　out；　and　I'm　afraid　to　be　alone。〃　His　eyes　wouldn't　quite　meet　mine　when　he　said　the　last；　flinching　like　he　was　afraid　of　what　he'd　see　on　my　face。
　〃What　do　you　mean　he　went　out？　Where　to？〃
　〃The　woods。　He　said　he'd　keep　watch　for　assassins。　Does　he　mean　Raina？〃　He　did　look　up　then；　amazing　blue　eyes　wide；　the　beginnings　of　panic　sliding　across　his　face。
　I　touched　his　arm；　not　sure　it　was　the　right　thing　to　do。　Some　people　don't　want　to　be　touched　after　a　sexual　molestation。　It　seemed　to　fort　Stephen。　But　he　glanced　behind　him　at　the　empty　living　room；　rubbing　his　hands　along　his　bare　arms。
　〃Richard　told　me　to　stay　in　the　house。　He　said　I　needed　to　rest。〃　He　wouldn't　meet　my　eyes　again。　〃I'm　afraid　to　be　alone；　Anita。　I　。　。　。〃　He　hung　his　head；　long　yellow　hair　spilling　like　a　curtain　to　hide　his　face。　〃I　can't　get　to　sleep。　I　keep　hearing　noises。〃
　I　put　a　finger　under　his　chin　and　lifted　his　face　gently。　〃Are　you　asking　to　sleep　in　here　with　me？〃
　His　eyes　stared　at　me；　wide　and　pain…filled。　〃Richard　said　I　could。〃
　〃Run　that　by　me　again；〃　I　said。
　〃I　told　him　I　couldn't　stand　to　be　alone。　He　said；　Anita's　here；　she'll　protect　you。　Go　sleep　with　her。〃　He　looked　at　me；　his　face　awkward。　Something　must　have　shown　on　my　face。　〃You're　mad　now。　I　don't　blame　you。　I'm　sorry　。　。　。　I'll　。　。　。〃　He　started　to　turn　away；　and　I　caught　his　arm。
　〃It's　okay；　Stephen。　I'm　not　mad　at　you。　Richard　and　I　had　a　。　。　。　disagreement；　that's　all。〃　I　didn't　want　him　to　sleep　in　here　with　me。　The　bed　was　too　small　for　two　people；　and　if　I　was　going　to　share　it　with　anyone；　I'd　have　preferred　Richard；　but　that　wasn't　going　to　happen。　Maybe　not　ever　at　the　rate　we　were　going。
　〃You　can　stay　in　here。〃　I　didn't　add；　keep　your　hands　to　yourself。　His　face　was　raw　with　a　need　that　had　nothing　to　do　with　sex。　He　needed　to　be　held；　to　be　told　the　monster　under　the　bed　wasn't　really　there。　I　couldn't　help　him　on　the　last。　The　monsters　were　real。　But　the　first；　I　might　manage　that。　Cold…blooded　killer　that　I　am；　maybe　I　could　share　my　toy　penguin　with　him。
　〃Could　you　get　an　extra　pillow　from　Richard's　room？〃　I　asked。
　He　nodded　and　fetched　it。　He　clutched　it　to　his　chest　like　he'd　have　rather　slept　with　it　than　on　it。　Maybe　the　penguin　wasn't　such　a　bad　idea。
　I　locked　the　door　behind　us。　I　could　have　moved　into　Richard's　room。　It　was　a　bigger　bed；　but　it　also　had　a　picture　window　with　a　deck　and　bird　feeders。　The　guest　room　only　had　one　small　window。　Easier　to　defend。　Unless　I　wanted　to　go　out　a　window；　they　were　both　traps；　so　we　stayed　in　the　more　secure　room。　Besides；　I'd　have　had　to　move　all　the　weapons　and　it　would　have　been　dawn　before　I　finished。
　I　pulled　the　covers　back　and　said；　〃You　first。〃　If　something　came　through　the　door；　I　wanted　to　be　the　first　to　greet　it；　but　I　didn't　say　that　out　loud。　Stephen　was　jumpy　enough。
　He　climbed　into　bed　with　his　pillow；　pressing　it　against　the　wall；　because　there　really　wasn't　room　for　two　full…sized　pillows。　He　lay　on　his　back；　staring　up　at　me；　his　curling　yellow　hair　falling　around　his　face　and　bare　shoulders　like　Sleeping　Beauty。　You　didn't　see　many　men　with　hair　longer　than　mine。　He　was　one　of　those　men　who　was　pretty　rather　than　handsome；　lovely　as　a　doll。　Staring　up　at　me　with　his　blue　eyes；　he　looked　about　twelve。　The　look　on　his　face　was　what　did　it；　like　he　was　expecting　me　to　kick　him；　and　he'd　let　me　because　he　couldn't　stop　me。　I　understood　in　that　moment　what　Raina　had　meant　about　him　being　anyone's　meat。　There　was　nothing　dominant　about　Stephen；　and　it　made　me　wonder　about　his　background。　Abused　children　will　sometimes　have　that　raw　look　to　their　eyes。　And　they'll　take　abuse；　because　it's　normal。
　〃What's　wrong？〃　Stephen　said。
　I'd　been　staring。　〃Nothing；　just　thinking。〃　Tonight　was　not　the　night　to　ask　if　his　father　had　beat　him。　I　thought　about　throwing　on　a　pair　of　jeans；　but　it　would　have　been　unfortable；　not　to　mention　hot。　It　was　late　spring；　the　heat　hadn't　set　in。　It　was　only　seventy　degrees；　but　it　wasn't　cool　enough　to　wear　jeans；　especially　if　you　had　someone　else　in　bed　with　you。　Besides；　I　wasn't　sure　how　Stephen　would　take　me　getting　dressed　to　lie　down　beside　him。　Maybe　he'd　be　insulted。　It　was　too　plicated　for　me。　I　turned　off　the　light　and　climbed　into　bed　beside　him。　If　either　of　us　had　been　much　bigger；　we'd　have　never　fit。　Stephen　had　to　roll　onto　his　side　as　it　was。
　He　curled　against　my　back；　spooning　his　body　against　mine；　one　arm　flung　across　my　waist；　like　I　was　the　stuffed　toy。　I　stiffened；　but　Stephen　didn't　seem　to　notice。　He　buried　his　face　into　my　back；　and　let　his　breath　out　in　a　sigh。　I　lay　there　in　the　dark　and　couldn't　sleep。　Two　months　ago　after　I'd　nearly　ended　up　a　vampire；　I'd　had　trouble　sleeping。　Close　brushes　with　death；　I　could　handle。　Close　brushes　with　being　the　undead；　that　scared　me。　But　I　got　over　it。　I　was　sleeping　just　fine；　thank　you　very　much；　until　now。　I　pushed　the　button　on　my　watch　that　made　it　glow。　It　was　only　5：30。　I'd　had　about　an　hour's　sleep。　Great。
　Stephen's　breathing　deepened；　and　his　body　relaxed　against　me　a　muscle　at　a　time。　He　whimpered　softly　in　his　sleep；　arm　convulsing　around　me；　then　the　dream　passed　and　he　lay　still　and　warm。
　I　drifted　off　to　sleep；　cuddling　Stephen's　arm　around　my　body。　He　was　almost　as　good　as　a　stuffed　toy；　though　he　did　have　a　tendency　to　move　at　the　odd　moment。
　Daylight　spilled　through　the　thin　white　drapes；　and　at　first　I　thought　the　light　had　awakened　me。　I　woke　stiff；　in　the　same　position　that　I'd　fallen　asleep　in；　as　if　I　hadn't　moved　at　all　during　the　night。　Stephen　was　still　curled　around　me；　a　leg　over　my　legs　along　with　one　arm　like　he　was　trying　to　get　as　close　to　me　as　he　could；　even　in　his　sleep。
　I　lay　there　for　a　moment　with　his　body　wrapped　around　me　and　realized　I'd　never　awakened　with　a　man　before。　I'd　had　a　fiancé　in　college　and　I'd　had　sex　with　him；　but　I'd　never　spent　the　night。　I'd　never　actually　slept　in　the　same　bed　with　a　man。　It　was　kind　of　odd。　I　lay　in　the　circle　of　warmth　of　Stephen's　body　and　wished　it　was　Richard。
　I　had　a　vague　feeling　that　something　had　awakened　me；　but　what？　I　eased　out　from　the　covers　and　Stephen's　clinging　body。　He　rolled　over　on　his　other　side；　sighing；　making　small　protesting　noises。　I　tucked　the　covers　around　him　and　took　the　Firestar　out　from　under　my　pillow。
　According　to　my　watch；　it　was　nearly　10：30。　I'd　had　about　five　hours　of　sleep。　I　slipped　on　a　pair　of　jeans；　got　my　toothbrush　and　some　clean　undies　and　socks　out　of　the　suitcase。　I　folded　everything　in　a　clean　polo　shirt　and　unlocked　the　door。　I　kept　the　Firestar　in　my　hand。　I'd　put　it　on　the　top　of　the　toilet　while　I　cleaned　up。　I'd　have　done　the　same　thing　at　home。
　Someone　passed　in　front　of　the　door；　talking。　Two　voices；　one　of　them　female。　I　laid　the　clothes　on　the　floor；　unclicked　the　safety　on　the　gun；　and　put　my　left　hand　on　the　doorknob。
　〃Was　that　the　safety　on　a　gun　I　heard？〃　a　man's　voice　said　from　the　other　side　of　the　door。　I　recognized　the　voice。
　I　clicked　the　safety　back　in　place；　put　the　gun　down　the　front　of　my　pants；　and　slipped　the　Tshirt　over　it。　Armed；　but　not　visibly；　I　opened　the　door。　Jason　stood　there；　grinning　at　me。　He　was　about　my　height。　His　blond　hair　was　straight　and　baby　fine；　and　cut　just　above　his　shoulders。　His　eyes　were　the　innocent　blue　of　spring　skies；　but　the　look　in　them　wasn't　innocent。　He　peered　around　me　at　Stephen　still　curled　up　in　the　bed。
　〃Is　it　my　turn　next？〃　he　asked。
　I　sighed；　picked　up　my　clothes；　tucked　them　under　my　arm；　and　closed　the　door　behind　me。　〃What　are　you　doing　here；　Jason？〃
　〃You　don't　sound　happy　to　see　me。〃　He　was　wearing　a　fishnet　T…shirt。　His　jeans　were　faded　and　soft　with　one　knee　pletely　out。　He　was　twenty　and　had　been　a　college　student　before　he'd　joined　the　pack。　Now　he　was　Jean…Claude's　wolf；　and　playing　bodyguard　and　breakfast　entree　to　the　Master　Vampire　of　the　City　seemed　to　be　his　only　job。
　〃Isn't　it　a　little　early　in　the　morning　for　fishnet？〃
　〃Wait　until　you　see　what　I'm　wearing　to　tonight's　gala　opening　of　JeanClaude's　dance　club。〃
　〃I　may　not　be　able　to　m