df.therunelords-第88章

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　Instead　it　made　her　nervous。　Partly；　she　feared　rejection。　Though　he'd　said　he　loved　her；　she　did　not　believe　he　could　love　her　deeply。
　She　was　too　ugly。　Of　all　who　are　ugly　on　the　earth；　she　thought；　I　am　among　the　worst。　A　frightened　corner　of　her　mind　whispered　to　her；　And　you　deserve　to　be　ugly。
　It　was　the　endowment；　of　course。　Iome　could　never　remember　having　felt　this　way　before。　So　devoid　of　worth。　Raj　Ahten's　rune　of　power　pulled　at　her。
　Yet　when　Gaborn　looked　at　her　or　touched　her；　it　seemed　that　some　part　of　the　spell　was　broken　for　a　moment。　She　felt　worthy。　She　felt　that　he；　alone　of　all　men；　might　actually　love　her。　And　she　feared　to　lose　him。　It　was　a　terrible　fear。　For　it　seemed　so　reasonable。
　Another　thing　made　her　uneasy。　She'd　never　been　alone　with　a　man。　Now　she　was　alone　with　Gaborn。　She'd　always　had　Chemoise　by　her　side；　and　a　Days　watching　her。　But　now　here　she　sat　with　a　prince；　and　her　father　slept；　and　it　made　her　feel　profoundly　unfortable。　Aroused。
　It　was　not　Gaborn's　touch；　she　knew；　that　made　her　feel　this　way。　It　was　the　draw　of　his　magic。　She　could　feel　the　creative　desires　in　her　stirring；　like　an　animal　burrowing　into　her　skull。　She'd　felt　this　when　she　was　near　Binnesman；　but　never　so　powerfully。　Besides；　Binnesman　was　an　older　man；　and　none　too　pleasing　to　look　at。
　Gaborn　was　different；　someone　who　dared　say　he　loved　her。
　She　wanted　to　sleep。　She　had　no　endowments　of　brawn　or　metabolism；　only　a　single　endowment　of　stamina　she'd　gotten　shortly　after　birth。　So　though　she　had　fair　endurance；　she　needed　rest　almost　as　much　as　any　other　person。
　But　now　she　had　Gaborn's　electrifying　touch　to　contend　with。　This　is　innocent；　she　told　herself　as　he　stroked　her　cheek。　Merely　the　touch　of　a　friend。
　Yet　she　craved　his　touch　so；　wanted　him　to　move　his　hand　down　farther；　along　her　throat。　She　dared　not　admit　even　to　herself　that　she　wanted　him　to　touch　her　deeper。
　She　took　hold　of　Gaborn's　hand；　so　that　he'd　stop　stroking　her　chin。
　He　responded　by　taking　her　hand；　kissing　it　softly；　letting　it　rest　between　his　lips。　Gently；　so　gently　it　took　her　breath　away。
　Iome　opened　her　eyes　to　mere　slits；　looked　up。　The　darkness　had　fallen　so　pletely；　it　was　as　if　the　two　of　them　lay　hidden　beneath　a　blanket。
　There　are　trees　between　us　and　the　house；　Iome　thought。　The　woman　there　can't　see　us；　doesn't　know　who　we　are。
　The　thought　made　her　heart　pound　fiercely。　Certainly；　Gaborn　must　have　felt　her　heart　pound；　must　have　seen　how　she　fought　to　keep　from　drawing　a　ragged　breath。
　He　placed　his　hand　beside　her　face；　began　stroking　her　cheek　again；　Iome's　back　arched　slightly　at　his　touch。
　You　can't　want　me；　she　thought。　You　can't　want　me。　My　face　is　a　horror。　The　veins　in　my　hand　stand　out　like　blue　worms。　〃I　wish　I　were　still　beautiful；〃　she　whispered　breathlessly。
　Gaborn　smiled。　〃You　are。〃
　He　leaned　down　and　kissed　her；　full　on　the　lips。　His　moist　kiss　smelled　of　plums。　The　touch　of　his　lips　made　her　dizzy；　he　took　the　back　of　her　head　in　his　hand；　pulled　her　up　and　kissed　her　fervently。
　Iome　grabbed　him　round　the　shoulders；　scooted　up　until　she　sat　in　his　lap；　and　felt　him　trembling　softly　with　desire。　In　that　moment；　she　knew　he　believed　it：　he　believed　she　was　beautiful　despite　the　fact　that　Raj　Ahten　had　taken　her　glamour；　felt　she　was　beautiful　though　her　father's　kingdom　lay　in　ruins；　felt　she　was　beautiful　and　wanted　her　as　much　as　she　wanted　him。
　Gaborn　held　some　strange　power　over　her。　She　wished　he　would　kiss　her　roughly。　He　nuzzled　her　cheek　and　chin。　Iome　raised　her　neck　for　him；　so　he　might　kiss　the　hollow　of　her　neck。　He　did。
　Wanton。　I　feel　wanton；　Iome　realized。　All　her　life；　she'd　been　watched；　had　been　handled　so　that　she　would　remain　proper　and　free　of　desire。
　Now；　for　the　first　time；　she　found　herself　alone　with　a　man；　a　man　whom　she　suddenly　realized　she　loved　fiercely。
　She'd　always　kept　such　a　tight　rein　on　her　emotions；　she'd　never　have　believed　she　could　have　felt　so　wanton。　It's　only　his　magic；　she　told　herself；　that　makes　me　feel　so。
　Gaborn's　lips　strayed　over　the　hollow　of　her　throat；　up　to　her　ear。
　She　took　his　right　hand　in　her　own；　brought　it　toward　her　breast。　But　he　pulled　away　and　would　not　touch　it。
　〃Please！〃　she　whispered。　〃Please。　Don't　be　a　gentleman　now。　Make　me　feel　beautiful！〃
　Gaborn　pulled　his　lips　away　from　her　ear；　stared　hard　into　her　face。
　If　what　he　saw　in　the　dim　light　displeased　or　repelled　him；　he　gave　no　sign　of　it。
　〃Iuh；〃　Gaborn　said　weakly。　〃I'm　afraid　I　can　be　nothing　but　a　gentleman。〃　He　tried　to　smile　reassuringly。　〃Too　many　years　of　practice。〃
　He　pulled　away　a　bit；　but　not　entirely。
　Unaccountably；　Iome　found　her　eyes　full　of　tears。　He　must　think　me　brazen。　He　must　think　me　wicked；　a　voice　inside　her　whispered。　He　sees　me　truly　now；　a　craven　animal。　She　felt　sickened　by　her　own　lust。　〃I。。。I'm　sorry！〃　Iome　said。　〃I've　never　done　anything　like　that！〃
　〃I　know；〃　Gaborn　said。
　〃Trulynever！〃　Iome　said。
　〃Truly；　I　know。〃
　〃You　must　think　me　a　fool　or　a　whore！〃　Or　ugly。
　Gaborn　laughed　easily。　〃Hardly。　I'm。。。flattered　that　you　could　feel　that　way　about　me。　I'm　flattered　you　could　want　me。〃
　〃I've　never　been　alone　with　a　man；〃　Iome　said。　〃I've　always　had　my　maid　with　me；　and　a　Days。〃
　〃And　I've　never　been　alone　with　a　woman；〃　Gaborn　said。　〃You　and　I　have　always　been　watched。　I've　often　wondered　if　the　Days　watch　us　only　so　that　we　will　be　good。　No　one　would　want　to　have　their　secret　deeds　recorded　for　all　the　world　to　see。　I　know　some　lords　who　are　generous　and　decent；　I　believe；　only　because　they　would　not　want　the　world　to　know　their　hearts。
　〃But　how　good　are　we；　Iome；　if　we　are　only　good　in　public？〃
　Gaborn　hugged　her；　pulled　her　back　against　his　chest；　but　did　not　kiss　her。　Instead；　it　seemed　an　invitation　to　rest　again；　to　try　to　sleep。　But　Iome　could　not　rest　now。　She　tried　to　relax。
　She　wondered　if　he　meant　it。　Was　he　trying　to　be　good；　or　did　he　secretly　find　her　repulsive？　Perhaps　even　in　his　own　heart；　he　dared　not　admit　the　truth。
　〃Iome　Sylvarresta；〃　Gaborn　said；　his　voice　distant；　highly　formal。　〃I　have　ridden　far　from　my　home　in　Mystarria　to　ask　you　a　question。　You　told　me　two　days　ago　that　your　answer　would　be　no。　But　I　wonder　if　you　would　reconsider？〃
　Iome's　heart　pounded；　and　she　thought　furiously。　She　had　nothing　to　offer　him。　Raj　Ahten　was　still　within　the　borders　of　her　country；　had　taken　her　beauty；　destroyed　the　heart　of　her　army。　Though　Gaborn　claimed　to　love　her；　she　feared　that　if　Raj　Ahten　lived；　Gaborn　would　never　see　her　natural　face　again；　but　would　instead　be　forced　to　gaze　on　this　ugly　mask　for　as　long　as　she　lived。
　She　had　nothing　to　give　him；　except　her　own　devotion。　How　could　that　hold　him？　As　a　princess　of　the　Runelords；　she'd　never　have　imagined　herself　in　this　position；　where　she　would　love　a　man　and　be　loved；　though　she　had　nothing　but　herself　to　offer。
　〃Do　not　ask　me　that；〃　Iome　said；　lips　trembling；　heart　racing。　〃I。。。cannot　consider　my　own　desires　in　this　matter。　But；　if　I　were　your　wife；　I'd　try　to　live　in　such　a　way　that　you　would　never　rue　the　bargain。　I'd　never　kiss　another　the　way　I　just　kissed　you　now。〃
　Gaborn　held　her；　fortably；　easily；　so　her　back　was　cupped　against　his　chest。　〃You　are　my　lost　half；　you　know；〃　Gaborn　whispered。
　Iome　leaned　back　against　him；　luxuriating　at　his　touch；　while　his　sweet　breath　tickled　her　neck。　She'd　never　believed　in　the　old　tales　which　said　that　each　person　was　made　of　but　half　a　soul；　doomed　to　constantly　seek　its　panion。　She　felt　it　now；　felt　truth　in　his　words。
　Playfully；　Gaborn　whispered　into　her　ear。　〃And　if　you　will　someday　have　me　as　your　husband；　I'll　try　to　live　in　such　a　way　that　you　will　never　think　me　too　much　a　gentleman。〃　He　wrapped　his　arms　around　her　shoulders；　hugged　her　tightly　and　let　her　lean　her　head　back　against　his　chest。　The　inside　of　his　left　wrist　rested　on　her　breast；　and　though　she　felt　aroused　by　his　touch；　she　no　longer　felt　wanton　or　embarrassed。
　This　is　how　it　should　be；　she　thoughthim　owning　me；　me　owning　him。　This　is　how　we　would　bee　one。
　She　felt　tired；　dreamy。　She　tried　to　imagine　what　it　would　be　like　in　Mystarria；　in　the　Kin