rh.theassassinsapprentice-第84章
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o buy some leather harness； I could go elsewhere and stop bothering him。 I thought of the young man I had last seen with Molly； and bitterly wished them no good of each other。
For no other reason than that I was lonely； I decided to seek out the Fool。 Never before had I tried to initiate a meeting with him。 He proved more elusive than I had ever imagined。
After a few hours of randomly wandering the keep； hoping to encounter him； I made brave enough to go to his chamber。 I had known for years where it was； but had never gone there before； and not simply because it was in an out…of…the…way part of the keep。 The Fool did not invite intimacy； except of the kind he chose to offer； and only when he chose to offer it。 His chambers were a tower…top room。 Fedwren had told me that it had once been a map room and had offered an unobstructed view of the land surrounding Buckkeep。 But later additions to Buckkeep had blocked the views； and higher towers supplanted it。 It had outlived its usefulness for anything； save chambers for a fool。
I climbed to it； that one day toward the beginning of harvest time。 It was already a hot and sticky day。 The tower was a closed one； save for arrow slits that did little more than illuminate the dust motes my feet set to dancing in the still air。 At first the darkness of the tower had seemed cooler than the stuffy day outside； but as I climbed； it seemed to get hotter and more close； so that by the time I reached the last landing； I felt as if there were no air left to breathe at all。 I lifted a weary fist and pounded on the stout door。 〃It's me； Fitz！〃 I called； but the still hot air muffled my voice like a wet blanket smothering a flame。
Shall I use that as an excuse？ Shall I say I thought perhaps he could not hear me； and so I went in to see if he was there？ Or shall I say that I was so hot and thirsty that I entered to see if his chambers offered any hint of air or water？ Why doesn't matter； I suppose。 I put my hand to the door latch； and it lifted and I went inside。
〃Fool？〃 I called； but I could feel he wasn't there。 Not as I usually felt folk's presence or absence； but by the stillness that met me。 Yet I stood in the door and gawked at a soul laid bare。
Here was light； and flowers； and colors in profusion。 There was a loom in the corner； and baskets of fine； thin thread in bright； bright colors。 The woven coverlet on the bed and the drapings on the open windows were unlike anything I had ever seen； woven in geometric patterns that somehow suggested fields of flowers beneath a blue sky。 A wide pottery bowl held floating flowers and a slim silver fingerling swam about the stems and above the bright pebbles that floored it。 I tried to imagine the colorless； cynical Fool in the midst of all this color and art。 I took a step farther into the room； and saw something that moved my heart aside in my chest。
A baby。 That was what I took it for at first； and without thinking； I took the next two steps and knelt beside the basket that cradled it。 But it was not a living child； but a doll； crafted with such incredible art that almost I expected to see the small chest move with breath。 I reached a hand to the pale； delicate face； but dared not touch it。 The curve of the brow； the closed eyelids； the faint rose that suffused the tiny cheeks； even the small hand that rested atop the coverlets were more perfect than I supposed a made thing could be。 Of what delicate clay it had been crafted； I could not guess； nor what hand had inked the tiny eyelashes that curled on the infant's cheek。 The tiny coverlet was embroidered all over in pansies； and the pillow was of satin。 I don't know how long I knelt there； as silent as if it were truly a sleeping babe。 But eventually I rose； and backed out of the Fool's room； and then drew the door silently closed behind me。 I went slowly down the myriad steps； torn between dread that I might encounter the Fool ing up and burdened with the knowledge that I had discovered one denizen of the keep who was at least as alone as I was。
Chade summoned me that night； but when I went to him； he seemed to have no more purpose in calling me than to see me。 We sat almost silently before the black hearth； and I thought he looked older than he ever had。 As Verity was devoured； so Chade was consumed。 His bony hands appeared almost desiccated； and the whites of his eyes were webbed with red。 He needed to sleep； but instead had chosen to call me。 Yet he sat； still and silent； scarce nibbling at the food he had placed before us。 At length； I decided to help him。
〃Are you afraid I won't be able to do it？〃 I asked him softly。
〃Do what？〃 he asked absently。
〃Kill the mountain Prince。 Rurisk。〃
Chade turned to look at me full face。 The silence held for a long moment。
〃You didn't know King Shrewd had given me this；〃 I faltered。
Slowly he turned back to the empty hearth and studied it as carefully as if there were flames to read。 〃I'm only the toolmaker；〃 he said at last； quietly。 〃Another man uses what I make。〃
〃Do you think this is a bad 。。。 task？ Wrong？〃 I took a breath。 〃From what I've been told； he has not that much longer to live anyway。 It might almost be a mercy； if death were to e quietly in the night； instead of…〃
〃Boy；〃 Chade remarked quietly。 〃Never pretend we are anything but what we are。 Assassins。 Not merciful agents of a wise king。 Political assassins dealing death for the furtherance of our monarchy。 That is what we are。〃
It was my turn to study the ghosts of the flames。 〃You are making this very hard for me。 Harder than it already was。 Why？ Why did you make me what I am； if you then try to weaken my resolve 。。。 ？〃 My question died away； half…formed。
〃I think 。。。 never mind。 Maybe it is a kind of jealousy in me； my boy。 I wonder； I suppose； why Shrewd uses you instead of me。 Maybe I fear I have outlived my usefulness to him。 Maybe； now that I know you； I wish I had never set out to make you what 。。。〃 And it was Chade's turn to fall silent； his thoughts going where his words could not follow them。
We sat contemplating my assignment。 This was not a serving of a king's justice。 This was not a death sentence for a crime。 This was a simple removal of a man who was an obstacle to greater power。 I sat still until I began to wonder if I would do it。 Then I lifted my eyes to a silver fruit knife driven deep into Chade's mantelpiece； and I thought I knew the answer。
〃Verity has made plaint； on your behalf；〃 Chade said suddenly。
〃plaint？〃 I asked weakly。
〃To Shrewd。 First； that Galen had mistreated you and cheated you。 This plaint he made formally； saying that he had deprived the kingdom of your Skill； at a time when it would have been most useful。 He suggested to Shrewd； informally； that he settle it with Galen； before you took matters into your own hands。〃
Looking at Chade's face； I could see that the full content of my discussion with Verity had been revealed to him。 I was not sure how I felt about that。 〃I would not do that； take my own revenge on Galen。 Not after Verity asked me not to。〃
Chade gave me a look of quiet approval。 〃So I told Shrewd。 But he said to me that I must say to you that he will settle this。 This time the King works his own justice。 You must wait and be satisfied。〃
〃What will he do？〃
〃That I do not know。 I do not think Shrewd himself knows yet。 The man must be rebuked。 But we must keep in mind that if other coteries are to be trained； Galen must not feel too badly treated。〃 Chade cleared his throat and said more quietly； 〃And Verity made another plaint to the King as well。 He accused Shrewd and me； quite bluntly； of being willing to sacrifice you for the sake of the kingdom。〃
This； I knew suddenly； was why Chade had called me tonight。 I was silent。
Chade spoke more slowly。 〃Shrewd claimed he had not even considered it。 For my part； I had no idea such a thing was possible。〃 He sighed again； as if parting with these words cost him。 〃Shrewd is a king； my boy。 His first concern must always be for his kingdom。〃
The silence between us stretched long。 〃You are saying
