rh.theassassinsapprentice-第71章
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tact me。
Nothing takes the heart out of a man more than the expectation of failure。 I had no belief he would really try to contact me； let alone that I would receive any clear impressions if he did。 Nor did I have faith that the drop…off he had chosen for me was a safe location。 Without much more thought than that； I rose； again surveyed the area for anyone watching me； then struck out toward the sea smell。 If I were where I supposed myself to be； from the shore I should be able to see Antler Island and； on a clear day； possibly Scrim Isle。 Even one of those would be enough to tell me how far from Forge I was。
As I hiked I told myself I only wanted to see how long a walk I would have back to Buckkeep。 Only a fool would imagine that the Forged ones still represented any danger。 Surely winter had put an end to them； or left them too starved and weakened to be a menace to anyone。 I gave no credence to the tales of them banding together as cutthroats and thieves。 I wasn't afraid。 I merely wanted to see where I was。 If Galen truly wanted to contact me； location should be no barrier。 He had assured us innumerable times that it was the person he reached for； not the place。 He could find me as well on the beach as he could on the hilltop。
By late afternoon； I stood atop rocky cliffs； looking out to sea。 Antler Island； and a haze that would be Scrim beyond it。 I was north of Forge。 The coast road home would go right through the ruins of that town。 It was not a forting thought。
So now what？
By evening； I was back on my hilltop； scrunched down between two of the boulders。 I had decided it was as good a place to wait as any。 Despite my doubts； I would stay where I had been left until the contact time was up。 I ate bread and salt fish and drank sparingly of my water。 My change of clothes included an extra cloak。 I wrapped myself in this and sternly rejected all thoughts of making a fire。 However small； it would have been a beacon to anyone on the dirt road that passed the hill。
I don't think there is anything more cruelly tedious than unremitting nervousness。 I tried to meditate； to open myself up to Galen's Skill； all the while shivering with cold and refusing to admit that I was scared。 The child in me kept imagining dark ragged figures creeping soundlessly up the hillside around me； Forged folk who would beat and kill me for the cloak I wore and the food in my bag。 I had cut myself a stick as I made my way back to my hillside； and I gripped it in both hands； but it seemed a poor weapon。 Sometimes I dozed despite my fears； but my dreams were always of Galen gloating over my failure as Forged ones closed in on me； and I always woke with a start； to peer wildly about to see if my nightmares were true。
I watched the sunrise through the trees and then dozed fitfully through morning。 Afternoon brought me a weary sort of peace。 I amused myself by questing out toward the wildlife on the hillside。 Mice and songbirds were little more than bright sparks of hunger in my mind； and rabbits little more； but a fox was full of lust to find a mate and farther off a buck battered the velvet off his antlers as purposefully as any smith at his anvil。 Evening was very long。 It was surprising； just how hard it was for me to accept； as night fell； that I had felt nothing； not the slightest pressure of the Skill。 Either he hadn't called or I hadn't heard him。 I ate bread and fish in the dark and told myself it didn't matter。 For a time I tried to bolster myself with anger； but my despair was too clammy and dark a thing for anger's flames to overe。 I felt sure Galen had cheated me； but I would never be able to prove it； not even to myself。 I would always have to wonder if his contempt for me had been justified。 In full darkness； I settled my back against a rock； my stick across my knees； and resolved to sleep。
My dreams were muddled and sour。 Regal stood over me； and I was a child sleeping in straw again。 He laughed and held a knife。 Verity shrugged； and smiled apologetically at me。 Chade turned aside from me； disappointed。 Molly smiled at jade； past me； forgetting I was there。 Burrich held me by the shirtfront and shook me； telling me to behave like a man； not a beast。 But I lay down on straw and an old shirt； chewing at a bone。 The meat was very good； and I could think of nothing else。
I was very fortable until someone opened a stable door and left it ajar。 A nasty little wind came creeping across the stable floor to chill me； and I looked up with a growl。 I smelled Burrich and ale。 Burrich came slowly through the dark； with a muttered； 〃It's all right； Smithy；〃 as he passed me。 I put my head down as he began to climb his stairs。
Suddenly there was a shout and men falling down the stairs。 They struggled as they fell。 I leaped to my feet； snarling and barking。 They landed half atop me。 A boot kicked at me； and I seized the leg above it in my teeth and clamped my jaws。 I caught more boot and pant than flesh； but he hissed in anger and pain； and struck at me。
A knife went into my side。
I set my teeth harder and held on； snarling around my mouthful。 Other dogs had awakened and were barking； the horses were stamping in their stalls。 Boy； boy； I called for help。 I felt him with me； but he didn't e。 The intruder kicked me； but I wouldn't let go。 Burrich lay in the straw and I smelled his blood。 He did not move。 I snarled around the mouthful。 I heard old Vixen flinging herself against the door upstairs； trying vainly to get to her master。 Again and then again the knife plunged into me。 I cried out to my boy a last time； and then I could no longer hold on。 I was flung off the kicking leg； to strike the side of a stall。 I was drowning； blood in my mouth and nostrils。 Running feet。 Pain in the dark。 I hitched closer to Burrich。 I pushed my nose under his hand。 He did not move。 Voices and light ing； ing； ing 。。。
I awoke on a dark hillside； gripping my stick so tightly my hands were numb。 Not for a moment did I think it a dream。 I couldn't stop feeling the knife between my ribs and tasting the blood in my mouth。 Like the refrain of a ghastly song； the memories came again and again； the draft of cold air； the knife； the boot； the taste of my enemy's blood in my mouth； and the taste of my own。 I struggled to make sense of what Smithy had seen。 Someone had been at the top of Burrich's stairs； waiting for him。 Someone with a knife。 And Burrich had fallen； and Smithy had smelled blood 。。。。
I stood and gathered my things。 Thin and faint was Smithy's warm little presence in my mind。 Weak； but there。 I quested carefully； and then stopped when I felt how much it cost him to acknowledge me。 Still。 Be still。 I'm ing。 I was cold and my knees shook beneath me； but sweat was slick on my back。 Not once did I question what I must do。 I strode down the hill to the dirt road。 It was a little trade road； a peddlers' track； and I knew that if I followed it； it must intersect eventually with the coast road。 I would follow it； I would find the coast road； I would get myself home。 And if Eda favored me； I would be in time to help Smithy。 And Burrich。
I strode； refusing to let myself run。 A steady march would carry me farther faster than a mad sprint through the dark。 The night was clear； the trail straight。 I considered； once； that I was putting an end to any chance of proving I could Skill。 All I had put into it； time； effort； pain； all wasted。 But there was no way I could have sat down and waited another full day for Galen to try to reach me。 To open my mind to Galen's possible Skill touch； I would have had to clear it of Smithy's tenuous thread。 I would not。 When it was all put in the balances； the Skill was far outweighed by Smithy。 And Burrich。
Why Burrich？ I wondered。 Who could hate him enough to ambush him？ And right outside his own quarters。 As clearly as if I were reporting to Chade； I began to assemble my facts。 Someone who knew him well enough to know where he lived； that ruled out some chance offense mitted in a Buckkeep Town tavern。 Someone who had brought a knife； that ruled out someone who just wanted to give him a beating。 The knife had been sharp； and the wield
