rh.theassassinsapprentice-第11章
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you don't know？〃
My tongue was dry in my mouth and Nosy cowered at my feet。 〃But I don't know；〃 I protested。 〃How can I know what I'll do； until I've done it？ How can I say？〃
〃Well； if you can't say； I can！〃 he roared； and I sensed then in full how he had banked the fires of his temper； and also how much he'd drunk that night。 〃The pup goes and you stay。 You stay here； in my care； where I can keep an eye on you。 If Chivalry will not have me with him； it's the least I can do for him。 I'll see that his son grows up a man； and not a wolf。 I'll do it if it kills the both of us！〃
He lurched from the bench； to seize Nosy by the scruff of the neck。 At least； such was his intention。 But the pup and I sprang clear of him。 Together we rushed for the door； but the latch was fastened； and before I could work it； Burrich was upon us。 Nosy he shoved aside with his boot； me he seized by a shoulder and propelled me away from the door。 〃e here； pup；〃 he manded； but Nosy fled to my side。 Burrich stood panting and glaring by the door； and I caught the growling undercurrent of his thoughts； the fury that taunted him to smash us both and be done with it。 Control overlaid it； but that brief glimpse was enough to terrify me。 And when he suddenly sprang at us； I repelled at him with all the force of my fear。
He dropped as suddenly as a bird stoned in flight and sat for a moment on the floor。 I stooped and clutched Nosy to me。 Burrich slowly shook his head as if shaking raindrops from his hair。 He stood； towering over us。 〃It's in his blood；〃 I heard him mutter to himself。 〃From his damned mother's blood； and I shouldn't be surprised。 But the boy has to be taught。〃 And then； as he looked me full in the eye； he warned me； 〃Fitz。 Never do that to me again。 Never。 Now give me that pup。〃
He advanced on us again； and as I felt the lap of his hidden wrath； I could not contain myself。 I repelled at him again。 But this time my defense was met by a wall that hurled it back at me； so that I stumbled and sank down； almost fainting； my mind pressed down by blackness。 Burrich stooped over me。 〃I warned you；〃 he said softly； and his voice was like the growling of a wolf。 Then； for the last time； I felt his fingers grip Nosy's scruff。 He lifted the pup bodily and carried him； not roughly； to the door。 The latch that had eluded me he worked swiftly； and in moments I heard the heavy tromp of his boots down the stair。
In a moment I had recovered and was up； flinging myself against the door。 But Burrich had locked it somehow； for I scrabbled vainly at the catch。 My sense of Nosy receded as he was carried farther and farther from me； leaving in its place a desperate loneliness。 I whimpered； then howled； clawing at the door and seeking after my contact with him。 There was a sudden flash of red pain； and Nosy was gone。 As his canine senses deserted me pletely。 I screamed and cried as any six…year…old might； and hammered vainly at the thick wood planks。
It seemed hours before Burrich returned。 I heard his step and lifted my head from where I lay panting and exhausted on the doorstep。 He opened the door and then caught me deftly by the back of my shirt as I tried to dart past him。 He jerked me back into the room and then slammed the door and fastened it again。 I flung myself wordlessly against it； and a whimpering rose in my throat。 Burrich sat down wearily。
〃Don't even think it； boy；〃 he cautioned me； as if he could hear my wild plans for the next time he let me out。
〃He's gone。 The pup's gone； and a damn shame； for he was good blood。 His line was nearly as long as yours。 But I'd rather waste a hound than a man。〃 When I did not move； he added； almost kindly； 〃Let go of longing after him。 It hurts less； that way。〃
But I did not； and I could hear in his voice that he hadn't really expected me to。 He sighed； and moved slowly as he readied himself for bed。 He didn't speak to me again； just extinguished the lamp and settled himself on his bed。 But he did not sleep； and it was still hours short of morning when he rose and lifted me from the floor and placed me in the warm place his body had left in the blankets。 He went out again and did not return for some hours。
As for me； I was heartsick and feverish for days。 Burrich； I believe； let it be known that I had some childish ailment； and so I was left in peace。 It was days before I was allowed out again； and then it was not on my own。
Afterward； Burrich took pains to see that I was given no chance to bond with any beast。 I am sure he thought he'd succeeded； and to some extent he did； in that I did not form an exclusive bond with any hound or horse。 I know he meant well。 But I did not feel protected by him； but confined。 He was the warden that ensured my isolation with fanatical fervor。 Utter loneliness was planted in me then； and sent its deep roots down into me。
CHAPTER THREE
Covenant
THE ORIGINAL SOURCE OF the Skill will probably remain forever shrouded in mystery。 Certainly a penchant for it runs remarkably strong within the royal family； and yet it is not solely confined to the King's household。 There does seem to be some truth to the folk saying； 〃When the sea blood flows with the blood of the plains； the Skill will blossom。〃 It is interesting to note that the Outislanders seem to have no predilection for the Skill； nor the folk descended solely from the original inhabitants of the Six Duchies。
Is it the nature of the world that all things seek a rhythm； and in that rhythm a sort of peace？ Certainly it has always seemed so to me。 All events； no matter how earthshaking or bizarre； are diluted within moments of their occurrence by the continuance of the necessary routines of day…to…day living。 Men walking a battlefield to search for wounded among the dead will still stop to cough； to blow their noses； still lift their eyes to watch a V of geese in flight。 I have seen farmers continue their plowing and planting； heedless of armies clashing but a few miles away。
So it proved for me。 I look back on myself and wonder。 Separated from my mother； dragged off to a new city and clime； abandoned by my father to the care of his man； and then bereft of my puppy panion； I still rose from my bed one day and resumed a small boy's life。 For me； that meant rising when Burrich awoke me； and following him to the kitchens； where I ate beside him。 After that； I was Burrich's shadow。 He seldom allowed me out of his sight。 I'd dog his heels； watching him at his tasks； and eventually assisting him in many small ways。 Evening brought a meal where I sat at his side on a bench and ate； my manners supervised by his sharp eyes。 Then it was up to his quarters； where I might spend the rest of the evening watching the fire in silence while he drank； or watching the fire in silence awaiting his return。 He worked while he drank； mending or making harness； pounding a salve； or rendering down a physic for a horse。 He worked； and I learned； watching him； though few words passed between us that I recall。 Odd to think … of two years； and most of another one； passed in such a way。
I learned to do as Molly did； stealing bits of time for myself on the days when Burrich was called away to assist in a hunt or help a mare birth。 Once in a great while I dared to slip out when he had drunk more than he could manage； but those were dangerous outings。 When I was free； I would hastily seek out my young panions in the city and run with them for as long as I dared。 I missed Nosy with a keenness as great as if Burrich had severed a limb from my body。 But neither of us ever spoke of that。
Looking back； I suppose he was as lonely as I。 Chivalry had not allowed Burrich to follow him into his exile。 Instead； he had been left to care for a nameless bastard and found that the bastard had a penchant for what he regarded as a perversion。 And even after his leg healed； he discovered he would never ride nor hunt nor even walk as well as he once had； all that had to be hard； hard for a man such as Burrich。 He never whined about it to anyone； that I heard。 But again； in looking back； I cannot imagine to whom he could have made pla
