gs.earthabides-第82章

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after　a　while；　when　the　pain　again　began　to　make　her　toss；　he　would　think：　〃Perhaps　I　should　make　the　dose　larger　still；　and　bring　a　finish　to　all　pain。〃　
　　But　he　did　not。　For　she；　he　knew；　had　always　reached　out　toward　life；　and　her　courage　would　not　fail。　
　　So　he　sat　long　hours　by　the　bed；　holding　her　hand；　and　now　and　then　they　talked。　
　　As　it　always　had　been；　she　was　the　one　who　forted　him；　although　she　was　the　one　who　lay　in　pain　and　was　going。　Yes；　he　realized；　she　had　been　mother　as　well　as　wife。　
　　〃Don't　worry；〃　she　said　once；　〃about　the　children；　I　mean…and　the　grandchildren　and　all　those　that　will　e　after。　They　will　be　happy；　I　think。　At　least；　they　may　be　as　happy　as　they　would　have　been　otherwise。　Don't　care　too　much　about　that　civilization。　They　will　go　on！〃　
　　Had　she　known　all　along？　He　wondered。　Had　she　known　that　he　would　fail？　Had　she　sensed　how　it　would　be？　Perhaps　because　she　was　a　woman？　Perhaps　because　within　her　veins　ran　a　different　strain　of　blood？　And　again　he　puzzled　over　what　made　greatness…either　in　man　or　woman。　
　　Josey　cared　for　the　house　now；　and　for　her　mother…Josey；　herself　a　mother；　straight　and　full…breasted　and　walking　with　easy　grace。　Of　them　all；　she　had　grown　to　be　most　like　Em。　
　　The　others　came　also　to　the　bedside…the　tall　sons　and　the　strong　daughters　and　the　grandchildren。　Already　the　oldest　grandsons　were　shooting　up　tall　and　on　bodies　of　the　granddaughters　the　fullness　of　their　womanhood　was　showing。　
　　Looking　at　them；　as　they　passed　the　bedside；　Ish　knew　that　Em　was　right。　〃They　will　go　on！〃　he　thought。　〃The　simple　ones　are　also　the　strong　ones。　They　will　go　on！〃　
　　At　last　one　day　he　sat；　again　holding　her　hand。　She　was　very　weak；　and　then　suddenly　he　knew　that　a　third　and　dark　presence　was　there　beside　them。　She　spoke　no　more　and　only　once　he　felt　a　light　flutter　of　her　fingers　within　his　hand。　
　　〃Oh；　Mother　of　Nations！〃　he　thought。　〃Her　sons　shall　praise；　and　her　daughters　call　her　blessed！〃　
　　Then　where　there　had　been　three；　now　there　was　only　one；　for　Death　had　gone　and　she　too。　He　sat　there　bowed　and　dry…eyed。　That　too　was　finished。　They　would　bury　her；　Mother　of　Nations；　and　place　no　marker；　for　that　was　their　custom。　And；　as　it　was　in　the　beginning；　since　love　first　and　sorrow　with　it　came　to　the　world；　he　sat　with　his　dead。　And　he　knew　that　greatness　had　passed　from　them。　
　　Yet　still　the　years　flowed；　and　the　sun　swung　from　north　of　the　mountain。　south　past　the　Golden　Gate；　and　back　again。　More　years　were　carved　into　the　rock。　
　　One　spring　Molly　died　suddenly　of　what　they　took　to　be　heart…failure。　That　same　year　a　great　tumor　grew　within　Jean…swiftly；　like　a　nightmare　growth。　There　was　no　one　who　knew　how　to　help　her；　and　when　she　had　died　by　her　own　hand；　there　was　no　one　who　blamed　her。　
　　〃We　are　going；　we　are　going！〃　thought　Ish。　〃We　Americans　are　old；　and　are　dropping　like　last　spring's　leaves。〃　So　sometimes　he　was　sad。　Yet；　as　he　walked　along　the　hillside；　he　saw　many　children　playing　busily；　and　young　men　shouting　to　one　another；　and　mothers　nursing　their　babies…and　little　sadness；　and　much　merriment。　
　　One　day　Ezra　came　to　him；　saying：　〃You　should　take　another　wife。〃　Ish　looked　at　him　with　questioning　eyes。　〃No；〃　said　Ezra；　〃I　am　too　old。　You　are　younger。　There　is　a　young　woman　of　The　Others；　and　no　man　to　marry　her。　Except　for　an　old　man；　it　is　better　not　to　be　alone。　And　there　should　be　more　children。〃　
　　He　felt　no　love；　but　he　took　her。　She　forted　him　in　the　long　nights；　for　he　was　still　a　man　in　his　strength。　She　bore　him　children；　though　the　children　seemed　always　a　little　strange　to　him…scarcely　his；　because　they　were　not　also　Em's。　
　　More　years　were　carved　in　the　rock。　Except　for　Ish　and　Ezra；　all　the　Americans　now　were　gone；　and　Ezra　was　a　little　dried…up　wrinkled　man　who　coughed　and　grew　thinner　and　thinner。　Ish　himself　was　wholly　gray…haired　now。　Though　he　was　not　heavy；　his　paunch　stuck　out；　and　he　was　thin…legged　in　the　manner　of　old　men。　His　side　hurt　him　where　the　mountain…lion　had　clawed　him　years　back；　so　he　walked　little。　Yet　still　his　young　wife　bore　him　a　child　in　the　Year　42。　He　was　not　greatly　interested　in　that　child；　and　also　now　he　had　great…grandchildren。　
　　On　the　day　when　the　Year　43　had　ended；　Ish　did　not　feel　like　walking　as　far　as　the　flat　rock　where　they　carved　the　numerals；　and　Ezra　was　too　frail。　So　they　put　off　carving　the　date　in　the　rock　or　giving　a　name。　They　said　to　each　other　now　and　then　that　really　they　must　do　it；　or　else　arrange　with　some　of　the　younger　men　to　carve　the　numerals；　and　sometimes　also　the　younger　men　and　even　the　children　talked　of　it。　But　in　a　way　that　such　things　go；　once　it　had　been　put　off；　still　it　was　put　off　again。　〃Today　is　rainy；〃　or　〃It　is　too　cold；〃　or　〃We　are　going　fishing；　and　shall　do　it　later。〃　So　the　numerals　were　not　carved；　and　the　name　was　not　given；　and　life　went　on　with　no　one　caring　greatly。　After　that；　no　one　knew　how　many　years　passed。　
　　Now　no　more　children　were　born　to　Ish's　young　wife。　Then　one　day　she　came　to　him　with　a　younger　man；　and　the　two　asked；　respectfully；　that　Ish　should　give　her　to　that　one。　
　　Then　at　last　Ish　realized　that　in　this　his　curious　life；　he　had　now　e　close　to　the　last　stage　of　all。　More　and　more　often；　after　that；　he　and　Ezra　sat　together　as　two　old　men。　
　　There　was　nothing　strange　that　two　old　men　should　sit　together　and　talk；　but　what　was　strange　here　was　that　there　were　no　other　old　people　at　all。　Elsewhere　everything　was　youth；　at　least　by　parison。　There　were　births　and　there　were　deaths；　but　always　there　were　more　births　than　deaths；　and　because　everyone　was　youthful；　there　was　much　laughter。　
　　As　the　quick　years　passed　and　the　two　old　men　sat　on　the　hillside　in　the　sun；　they　began　to　talk　more　and　more　about　what　had　happened　long　ago。　There　was　little　that　anyone…they；　at　least…could　talk　about　as　far　as　these　years　now　were　concerned。　Some　years　were　called　good　years　and　some　were　called　bad　years；　but　there　was　not　much　difference。　So　chiefly　the　two　old　men　talked　about　things　of　long　ago；　and　occasionally　they　speculated　about　life。　
　　Often；　when　they　talked；　Ish　realized　that　there　was　still　wisdom　and　help　in　Ezra。　
　　〃A　tribe　is　like　a　child；〃　he　said　once；　in　that　thin　piping　old…man's　voice；　which　every　day　seemed　more　like　a　bird's…and　then　he　coughed。　When　he　recovered；　he　spoke　again；　〃Yes；　a　tribe　is　like　a　child。　You　can　show　it　the　way　by　which　it　should　grow　up；　and　perhaps　you　can　direct　it　a　little；　but　in　the　end　the　child　will　go　his　own　way；　and　so　will　the　tribe。〃　
　　〃Yes；〃　he　said　again　on　some　other　day；　〃time　makes　all　things　clear。　Everything　seems　plainer　to　me　now　than　it　once　did；　and　if　I　should　live　for　a　hundred　years　more；　perhaps　everything　that　has　happened　so　far　would　seem　very　plain　and　simple。〃　
　　Often　they　talked　of　the　other　Americans；　those　who　now　were　gone。　They　laughed；　remembering　good　old　George；　and　Maurine　with　her　fine　radio　that　would　never　play。　They　smiled　when　they　recalled　Jean；　and　her　refusal　to　go　to　church。　
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Ezra；　〃it　is　all　clearer　now　with　time。　Why　each　of　them　survived　the　Great　Disaster…that　I　still　do　not　know。　But　I　think　I　can　see　why　each　of　them　survived　the　shock　that　came　afterwards；　when　so　many　went　under。　George　and　Maurine；　and　perhaps　Molly　too；　they　lived　on　and　did　not　go　crazy　because　they　were　stolid　and　had　no　imagination。　And　Jean　survived　because　she　had　her　temper　and　fought　back　at　life；　and　I；　because　I　went　out　from　myself　and　shared　the　lives　of　other　people。　And　you　and　Em。。。〃　
　　But　here　Ezra　paused；　so　that　Ish　himself　could　speak。　
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Ish；　〃you　are　right；　I　think。。。。　And　I；　I　could　live　because　I　stood　at　one　side　and　watched　what　was　happening。　And　as　for　Em。。。〃　
　　There　he　too　paused；　and　Ezra　spoke　again。　
　　〃Well；　as　we　were；　so　The　Tribe　will　be。　It　will　not　be　brilliant　because　we　were　not　like　that。　Perhaps　the　brilliant　ones　were　not　suited　to　survive。。。。　But　as　for　Em；　there　is　no　need　to　explain；　for　we　know　that　she　was　the　strongest　of　us　all。　Yes；　we　needed　many　things。　We　needed　George　and　his　carpentry；　and　we　needed