gs.earthabides-第48章
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h there had been no argument between him and the others。 Yes； Joey was the one！
Since that idea had first e to Ish on New Years Day； he had been pressing the lessons； and Joey had been absorbing them eagerly。 There was even danger that he might turn out to be a learned pedant。 He showed little ability at leadership among the other children； and sometimes Ish had begun to doubt。
This small incident just now； for instance！ It might show intelligence and thought for the future； and it might show a tendency to escape from contacts with those of his own age； who were better at games than he； and to seek security in the presence of his father； by whom he felt himself appreciated。 Ish hoped that the other children did not feel how strongly Joey had bee his favorite。 It was not right for a father to play favorites； but this situation had arisen suddenly and involuntarily； that New Years Day。
〃Oh；〃 he thought； 〃don't worry about it！〃 And suddenly he felt as if he were explaining it all to Em。 〃There on New Years Day； I was suddenly sure that Joey was the Chosen One。 Now of course it's all blurred。 Maybe this is only the feeling a father gets for a small son。 Later we may squabble； just the way I do with Walt now。 Yet； I hope！ The other boys were never like this…bright； I mean； lightning…quick at lessons。 I don't know。 I wish I knew。 I'll keep on trying。〃
Then； as he lit another cigarette； he was suddenly angry。 He himself had not been so very bright！ He had missed the opportunity。 During the years he had been saying； 〃Something is going to happen！〃 It had not happened； and they had smiled at him for a gloomy and not…to…be…regarded prophet。 Now this morning it had happened！ It had been a shock！ He could remember the scared faces when he and Ezra and George had first e back with the news。 Then was the time to have made his I…told…you…so speech。 He should have rubbed it in。 He should have painted the future with disaster。 That might have got something done。
As it was…perhaps he himself had been a little scared at the moment…everyone had made as light as possible of the matter； searched for the easiest makeshifts； and thus dulled the edge of what might have been made to seem a disaster。 The Tribe had really taken the matter in its stride。 Or…the identity of the word popped an old parison into his mind…it had rolled off； 〃like water off a duck's back！〃 Four or five hours later； and everybody had apparently settled again into the old happy…go…lucky life！
〃Apparently；〃 yes！ But after all； some sense of shock and uncertainty must still be lingering。 Some had gone fishing and some had gone quail…shooting； and already he had heard two reports of a shot…gun。 But all of these must certainly feel a slight sense of irresponsibility； even of guilt； at having left the more important work。 They would e in tired at evening； and then the reaction might go the other way。 He would get everybody together for a meeting then。 If the iron would not still be red…hot； it might at least have rewarmed a little。
Then he himself incongruously crunched out his second after…lunch cigarette； and settled back to rest； fortable and unharassed by worry； in the big chair。 〃This is fortable；〃 he thought； 〃〃This is 。。。
In those days they will look toward the sea； and cry out suddenly； 〃A ship； a ship！ 。。。 Yes； a ship certainly！ 。。。 Do you not see the plume of the drifting smoke？ 。。。 Yes； it is making for our harbor！〃 Then they will be merry with one another and say gaily： 〃Why were we despondent？。。。。 It stood to reason that civilization could not be destroyed everywhere！ 。。。 Of course； I always said 。。。。 In Australia； or South Africa； one of those isolated places…or one of the islands。〃 But there will be no ship； and only a wisp of cloud on the horizon。
Or one will wake from his nap in the afternoon； and took upward quickly。 〃Surely！ 。。。 I knew it must e！ 。。。 That was the motor of a plane 。。。。 I could not be mistaken。〃 But it will be only the locust in the bush； and there will be no plane。
Or one will rig batteries to a radio…set； and sit with earphones； fingering the dials。 〃Yes？〃 he will say sharply。 〃Be quiet there； all of you！ 。。。 Surely； surely！ 。。。 Just at 920！ 。。。 Someone talking。 I heard distinctly； sounded Spanish 。。。。 There again！ 。。。 Now it's faded！〃 But there will be no words on the air； only the tricks of the far…off thunderstorms。
〃Yes； this is fortable；〃 thought Ish； resting in the big chair。。。。 And then suddenly he started！ From the street came the noise of two loud reports； and he knew at once that they could be nothing but the backfiring of a large truck！ Then； so quickly that he did not seem to take time at all； he was standing on the sidewalk in front of the house； and there was the truck in the middle of the street。 It was a fine large truck painted bright red with blue trim； and in large white letters on its side he saw： U。S。 GOVT。 A man got out of the truck； and though he had been driving it； he was now （quite understandably） wearing a cut…away coat and a high silk hat。 The man said nothing； but Ish of course knew that this was the Governor of California。 Ish felt himself filled suddenly with an inexpressible happiness。 For again there was security and constituted authority and the strength of the many； instead of only the few in the midst of surrounding darknessi； and now he； Ish； was no longer a weak and neglected child wandering alone in the vast unfriendly world。。。。
In that bewilderment of happiness too great to be bome； he awoke。 The insides of his hands were moist； and his heart pounded。 As he looked around the familiar room； the happiness faded out like a dying light； and in its place succeeded a woe； equally unutterable。
After another moment the woe too faded out as his conscious controls took over。 That intense happiness of the dream； so overwhelming that it had awakened him…he knew now that it had sprung again from that often…repeated dream…〃wish fulfillment；〃 they used to say。 How many times throughout these twenty…one years had he dreamed it in some form or other！ Not during the first year or two indeed…his sense of loneliness and insecurity had seemed to grow cumulatively with the years； piling up faster than the birth of new children could counteract it。
Yes； today the symbolism had been very plain。 It varied； though usually it was plain enough。 He felt a little surprised that it so often took the form of the return of the United States Government。 In the Old Times he had never considered himself a flag…waving patriot； and he had not thought often about such things as the benefits of citizenship。 But no more； indeed； did a person think of the air he breathed； until it was taken away。 A sense of the vastness and solidity of the United States of America must have affected the sub…conscious feelings of its citizens； he reflected； much more than most of them had imagined。
By now he had brought his mind back to his actual world。 He stirred in the chair。 By the position of the sun he judged that he had slept an hour。 Again he heard the distant report of the shot…gun from the quail…hunters。 He smiled wanly； associating it with the back…firing truck。 Anyway…now he would set about getting the others together for the meeting which he had planned for that evening。
Water supplies remained scanty throughout the day； but at least no one suffered from thirst。 That evening the older ones； including Robert and Richard who were only sixteen； gathered at Ish's house at his invitation。 Ish found no one very much disturbed。 It would be a good idea （this seemed to be the general opinion） to try digging a well near one of the houses； rather than to move to some houses nearer a natural water supply。 Yes； they probably would have to watch sanitation carefully under the new arrangements and see that the children were instructed in such matters。
There was no presiding officer。 Occasionally someone deferred to Ish to settle a point； but this deference； he realized； might be because he held a faintly recognized natural leadership of intellect or even for no better reason than that he was the host。 There was no secretary taking a record of what happened。 But then； there were
