gs.earthabides-第30章
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He had imagined a desperate day; tying to find a new car or to fix up the old one。 As it was; they made it a sport; even though it did take them most of the morning before they located another one。 Most of the cars had no keys in them; and while he might have shorted a wire somewhere; they agreed that it would be an inconvenience to have to drive a car without a key。 And when they found one with a key in it; the battery; unused now for several months; would not work。 At last they found one that had a key in it; and was parked on a hill。 The battery was too weak to turn the engine over; but it would burn the lights faintly; and Ish judged that it would send out enough of a current to fire the spark…plugs。
They got the car rolling downhill; and then after a minute the cylinders began to bang and putter and backfire。 Ish and Em laughed together happily at the adventure of it。 At last the gasoline worked up through the feed…pipes; and the engine warmed; and began to run smoothly。 Now they laughed in triumph; and went speeding at sixty miles an hour down the empty boulevard; and Em leaned over and kissed him。 And suddenly; queer as it seemed; Ish realized that he had never felt so happy in his life。
This car was not such a good one as the station…wagon。 Because of this; they used it merely to make some exploration through the warehouse district; checking up in the classified telephone book to locate dealers in batteries。 At last they forced the entrance to the proper room and found dozens of batteries with the acid not yet in them。 There were also supplies of acid; and although neither of them was mechanically minded; they made the experiment of pouring the acid into a battery of the right size。 They took it back; and put it into the station…wagon。 It worked perfectly; the first time。
As at last the motor of the station…wagon hummed tunefully; responding to the pressure of his foot on the throttle; Ish thought that on that day he had met; and faced; two problems。 First; he had seen that he could do a great deal toward keeping a car running for a long time。 But of even greater importance; he had faced the possibility that there would e a time when there would no longer be any cars; and yet still he could live happily and without fear。
The next day; indeed; the new battery in the station…wagon was dead again。 Either it was defective or he had made some mistake in installing it。 This time; however; he was in no panic。 In fact he did not even bother to do anything about it for a couple; of days。 Then they repeated the process。 Either by luck or by greater care; they had better success; and the battery continued to work。
Sleek with lacquer; shining with chromium; their motors machined to the thousandth of the inch; their mutators accurate as watches; they had been the pride and the symbol of civilization。
Now; they were locked ingloriously in garages; or stood in the lots; or were parked at the curb。 The dead leaves dropped; the blowing dust settled。 The rains fell; and spotted the dust; and made the leaves stick more tightly and then more dust and more leavesfell。 The windshields were so thickly coated that you could scarcely see through them now。
More deeply; they changed little。 The rust ate here and there; but on the grease…smeared surfaces it could not work rapidly。 Unused; the coils and the timers; the carburetors and the spark…plugs; all remained as good as ever。
In the batteries the slow processes of chemistry worked day and night; breaking down; neutralizing。 A few months; and the unused batteries were dead。 But as long as the battery and acid were kept separate; neither deteriorated; and it would always be a small matter to add the acid and start out again with a new battery; the batteries were not the weakest link。
More likely it was the tires。 In the rubber the processes of decay worked slowly。 The tires would last a year; five years。 But nevertheless; the weakness worked in them。 The air leaked from the tires; and after the car had stood on the flat tires for a while; they were no longer of any use。 Even in the warehouses; decay worked in the rubber。 The stored tires would have ten years; and still some life。 Twenty years they would last; perhaps even more。 Quite likely the roads; themselves; would be broken and men forget how to drive cars and lose the desire for driving them before the cars themselves were rendered undrivable。
Her head rested in the crook of his arm; and he looked down upon the black liquid eyes。 They lay on the davenport in the living…room。 Her face looked darker than ever now in the twilight。
There was one question; he knew; that they had not yet faced; and now she brought it forward。
〃That would be fine!〃 she said。
〃I don't know。〃
〃Yes; it would。〃
〃I don't like it。〃
〃You mean you don't like it about me?〃。
〃Yes。 It's dangerous。 There'd be no one else but me; and I wouldn't be any use。〃
〃But you can read…all the books。〃
〃Books!〃 he laughed a little as he spoke。 〃The Practical Midwife? The Pathology of Parturition? I don't think I'd like to face it; even if you would。〃
〃But; yet; you really could find some books and read them。 That would be a lot of use。 And I wouldn't really need so much help。〃 She paused a moment: 〃I've been through it twice before; you know。 It wasn't bad。〃
〃Maybe not。 But it might be different this time without hospitals and doctors and all that。 And just why; why do you think so much about it?〃
〃Biology; don't they call it; or something like that? I guess it's natural。〃
〃Do you think life must go on; we have a duty to the future; all that?〃
She paused a minute。 He could tell that she was thinking; and thinking was not the best thing that she did; she reacted at deeper levels than those of mere thought。
〃Oh; I don't know;〃 she said。 〃I don't know whether life needs to go on。 Why should it? Just as likely I'm selfish。 I want a baby for myself。 I mean; oh; I don't talk this sort of thing well。 I'd like to be kissed; though。〃 He did it。
〃I wish I could talk;〃 she said。 〃I wish I could tell what it is I think about it。〃
Then she stretched her arm out; and took a match from the box on the table。 She smoked; more than he did; and he expected her to take a cigarette also。 But she did not。 It was a big kitchen…match; the kind she liked。 She turned it between thumb and finger; saying nothing。 Then she scratched it against the box。
The matchhead spurted into a flare。 Then the fierceness faded out; and the wood of the match…shank burned quietly in yellow flame。 Suddenly she blew it out。
Vaguely he knew that she; who did not find words easily; had tried…perhaps half unconsciously…to act out something that she could not say。 Slowly he thought that he understood。 The match lived; not when it lay in the box; but merely when it burned…and it could not burn forever。 So too with men and women。 Not by denying life was life lived。
He thought then of his old fear during the first days and of the time when he had overthrown it; when he had unlashed the motorcycle from the tail…gate of the station…wagon in the desert and tossed it to one side。 He remembered the wild feeling of exaltation which had e when he had offered defiance to death and all the powers of darkness。 He felt her body stir gently in his arms。 Yes; he thought humbly; that strong courage was his only at great moments…with her it was part of daily life。
〃All right;〃 he said; 〃I suppose you're right。 I'll read the books。〃
〃You know;〃 she said; 〃I might need a little more help than that!〃
Her body was close and warm against him。 Still he held back; feeling all the loneliness and the emptiness and the terror。 Who was he to set mankind again on the long and uncertain road to the future? But it was only for a moment。 Then her courage and the confidence of her courage flowed out from her to him。 〃Yes;〃 he thought; 〃she will be the mother of nations! Without courage there is nothing!〃
And then suddenly he was conscious again of her body; and his strength came upon him。
To thee be the glory; because the love of life was brighter before thy face than