gs.earthabides-第13章
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in himself to keep from needlessly turning back or swerving from the course which he had laid out。 But he temporized at least to this extent； that he would not start across the desert until nearly sunset。 That； he argued； was merely an ordinary precaution。 Even in ordinary times many people drove the desert at night just to escape from the heat。
He spent the day restlessly in Mojave…oppressed by the fear； and trying to think of more things which he should do for safety。 When the sun was about to touch the western hills； he started； the dog beside him on the seat。
He had scarcely gone a mile before he felt the desert closing in around him。 The low sun cast the Joshua trees into strange long shadows。 Then the shadows were gone； and soon twilight fell。 He turned on his lights； and the high beams illuminated the road before him…empty； always empty。 In the rear…view mirror he never saw the far…off twin lights which would mean that some car was overtaking him。
Then it was full darkness； and his anxiety grew deeper and deeper。 He thought of all that might go wrong； even though the engine purred steadily along。 He drove slowly and still more slowly； thinking of blow…outs； thinking of an overheating engine； or of oil that might fail to flow and leave him marooned； far alone。 He even lost confidence in the motorcycle which he carried as insurance。 After a long time…he was driving slowly…he passed one of the little desert stations where one might at least expect to get gasoline or a spare tire or something to drink。 Now it was dark； and he knew that there was no help。 He went on beyond that； the white beams cutting out the road clearly ahead of him； the engine still puffed smoothly； but he wondered what he would do if it should stop。
He had gone a long way。 At last the dog on the seat beside him began to whimper and stir restlessly。 〃Shut up！〃 he said sharply； but still she whimpered and stirred。 〃Oh； all right！〃 he said； and pulled the car to a stop； not bothering to turn aside off the pavement。 He got out； and then held the door open for the dog。 She ran about for a moment； whimpering； and then without stopping to relieve herself； she suddenly lifted her nose； let out a bay tremendous for such a small creature； and struck out at full speed into the desert。 〃e！ e back！〃 he shouted； but the dog paid no attention； and her bay went off into the distance。
There was a sudden deep silence as she ceased giving tongue； and in the silence he suddenly started； realizing that another noise； too； had stopped。 The idling engine had stalled。 in quick panic he leaped back into the car and pressed the； starter…button。 The engine resumed its steady purring。 Yet； he was shaken。 Feeling suddenly conspicuous； as if things might see him and he could not see them； he turned out the lights and sat in the darkness。 〃What a mess！〃 he said to himself。
Faintly； far off now； he heard again the baying of the beagle。 The note rose and fell as she circled somewhere behind the quarry。 He considered going on； and abandoning her。 After all； he had not wished to take her along in the first place。 If now she chose to abandon him in the desert and go off after the first chance rabbit； what debt had he toward her？ He slipped the car into gear； and drove ahead。 But he stopped after only a few yards。 It seemed too mean a desertion。 The dog would probably find no water in the desert； and that would be a horrible end。 In some way he had aheady incurred obligations to the beagle； even though she seemed to be using him for her own ends。 He shivered in his loneliness and depression。
After a while； a quarter of an hour perhaps； he was suddenly aware that the beagle had returned。 He had not heard her； she had merely appeared。 She lay down panting； her tongue hanging out。 He felt sudden uncontrollable anger against her。 He thought wildly of all those vague dangers to which her foolishness seemed to expose him。 If he could not leave her to die of thirst in the desert； at least he could put her to a quick end。 He got out of the car carrying the shot…gun。
Then； as he looked down； he saw the dog lying with its head between its forepaws； panting still from the run。 She did not bother to move； but he could vaguely see her large eyes lifted up toward him with the touch of whites along the bottom。 Having had her fun chasing the rabbit； she had now e back to her man； the one she had adopted and who had proved extremely useful to supply tasty food out of cans and to transport her to a lovely country which supplied real rabbits for chasing。 Suddenly Ish relaxed； and laughed。
With the laughter； something broke inside of him； and was as if a load had rolled away。 〃After all；〃 he thought； 〃what am I afraid of？ Nothing more than my death can happen。 That has e to most people already。 Why should I be afraid of that？ It can be nothing worse than that。〃
He felt infinite relief。 He strode half a dozen steps do the road； springily； giving his body a chance to express what his mind felt。
And surely this was more than the dropping off of any momentary burden。 This was a kind of great Declaration of Independence。 He had boldly stepped up to Fate； and slapped Fate in the face； and dared Fate to do the worst。
Thereupon he resolved that if he was to live at all he would live without fear。 After all； he had escaped a nearly universal disaster。
With a quick decision he hurried to the rear of the car； undid the lashing； and dumped the motorcycle。 No longer would he take all these overcautious precautions。 There might not be any Fate which objected to people playing the game too safely。 But； even if there were not； such playing was too much trouble。 He would take his chances from now on； and at least enjoy fife without fear； as long as he lived it。 Was he not living； as they said； on borrowed time？
〃Well； e on； Princess；〃 he said ironically； 〃let's get going。〃 And as he said it； he realized that he had at last named the dog。 That was a good name； its very triteness seemed to connect him with the old days； and at least she was The Princess； always expecting him to take care of her with the best of service； repaying him only incidentally； in so far as she took him away from thoughts of himself。
Yet； reconsidering； he did not go any farther that night。 With his new…found sense of freedom he rather enjoyed merely taking additional chances。 He pulled the sleeping…bag out。 Unrolling it； he lay on the sand under the slight shelter of a mesquite bush。 Princess lay beside him； and went soundly to sleep； tired from her run。 Once he awoke in the night； and lay calm at last。 He had passed through so much； and now he seemed to know a calm which would never pass。 Once Princess whimpered in her sleep； and he saw her legs twitch as if she were still chasing the rabbit。 Then she lay quiet； he； too； slept away。
When he awoke； finally； the dawn was lemon yellow above the desert hills。 He was cold； and he found Princess close up against his sleeping…bag。 He crawled out just as the sun was rising。
This is the desert； the wilderness。 It began a long time ago。 After a while； men came。 They camped at the springs and left chips of stone scattered about in the sand there； and worefaint trails through the lines of the mesquite bushes； but you could hardly tell that they had been there。 Still later； they laid down railroads； and strung up wires； and made long straight roads。 Still； in parison with the whole desert； you could hardly tell that men had been there； and ten yards asidefrom the steel rails or the concrete pavement； it was all the same。 After a while； the men went away； leaving their works behind them。
There is plenty of time in the desert。 A thousand years are as a day。 The sand drifts； and in the high winds even the gravel moves； but it is all very slow。 Now and then； once in a century； it may be； there es a cloudburst； and the long…dry streambeds roar with water； rolling boulders。 Given ten centuries perhaps； the fissures of the earth will open again and the black lava pourforth。
But as the desert was slow to yield before man； so it will be slow to wipe out his traces。 e back in a thousand years； and you will still see the
